scorp2413

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You read it right, 30lbs gone forever! I thought I was stalled and that TOM would prevent me from reaching the 30 lb mark today but I did it. I know losing this easy isn't going to last forever but thank you Jesus! Today I am really starting to focus on calories, protein, and fluid. To keep the weight loss up I have to get these all balanced! I also have to add exercise in to the mix. My plan was to start today but the evil witch (TOM) is kicking my butt. The blood thinners that I had in the hospital does not help the mix! Ibuprofen is usually what stops my cramps but none of that! I will get through it though.

I have had several non-scale victories already! My seat belt doesn't press on my hip when driving, I had to retire one pair of PJ bottoms that were falling off of me, my formal gowns from last year are at least 1 size too big, I will have to buy new underwear so it stays up, my black diamond ring now fits!

People will ask if it is all worth it, I believe it is. Have the past two weeks sucked? Yes, kinda! Now that I can add some more food in  to allow my eating experience to feel more normal, it really does help me! I know that the further I get away from surgery the more normal I will feel. Food is an important part of my life but I feel with this tool, I will now have control. I am still fighting my food daemons, eating when I am bored, frustrated, sad, happy, etc. I had a bad day yesterday trying to deal with the pain from mother nature, and I wanted to turn towards food. I was sad while at dinner that I couldn't feed the pain away, and was also hating the fact that I got the surgery. I took a moment to step away in my head and realized that it was just me dealing with the pain.This will not be the first battle and it won't be the last.

All-in-all I know that I made the right decision for me. Having a weight problem my whole life, I had a problem I could not fix it on my own. I needed help like an addict needs help. I needed to be forced into looking at food differently!

29.2 pounds and stalled! I knew it was coming but it couldn't give me the rest of that pound? lol I have been waiting for a stall - not that I wanted one. I have and some NSVs though! My seat belt doesn't press on my hip in my car. My XXL PJ pants do not fit anymore. That is right, too big! They were falling off of me. I am wearing men's XL pants today and they are comfy loose. It is nice to look in the mirror and see a pair that makes me look thinner. Another exciting point is I am on mushies and soft foods this week..........thank you! I have been successful going to a restaurant already. All these things make me know that I made the right decision. I do have my moments where I miss my food binges, but I know that is in my previous life.

On the recovery front, my incisions are really bothering me by the time night comes. I think I may be doing too much. Other than that, everything seems fine. I get to deal with TOM this week boooooooo! I was hoping losing weight would help that but I am getting horrible cramps already.

1 week post op and doing good! I have a little pain on my right side where they did all the work but mostly pain free. I do get tired still but that is part of the healing process. So you ask at one week post op if there are any results? 24 lbs (13 pre-op) and a total of 11.75 inches lost already! I started my measurements the day before the operation so they are all based on the surgery weight loss.

I have had my moments over the week wondering what I did, freaking out that I will never be able to eat again, etc. That isn't reality but when all you can have is liquids, it feels like it is. Starting next Monday I will be able to add pureed meats and soups and that will help I am sure. That is my biggest obstacle right now is not being able to eat.

I guess I do'nt have much to say this week. I will post again soon!

Monday was my sleeve day and everything was smooth. I was very nervous before and my blood pressure was high. The staff was great and just kept telling me that they would take good care of me. I was anxious about them finding a vein for an IV but they got it first stick. They listened to me when I said the best spots! Soon I had calming drugs in my system. All I remember of the operation is thinking that the OR was smaller than I thought it would be and they were telling me to take some deep breaths..........then I woke up in the recovery room. I was very nauseous when I woke up but always am. They had to give me three different drugs for the nausea. I was in pain to but nothing worse than I thought it would be.

The care I got in the hospital ward was great! It felt like every 2 hours they were giving me some kind of medication. I did have to swallow medicine.....that did not go so well. I had to relearn to take a pill without taking in too much air. That took about two days to learn that.I felt like I was going to throw up but it was more slimming with belches. Very attractive sounding I know. I was drinking water two hours after surgery with ice chips for my dry mouth. I was also up walking around. By the next morning I got a tray of jello, broth and tea. I could only eat about two bites of the jello and the broth was too strong for me. They did upper GI for the leak test early in the afternoon and everything looked great. I was home showering at 3pm. Of course looking back, I should have stayed in the hospital the second day - it was my choice. The drugs they give you for pain are much stronger.

Days 2 and 3 post op are the worst. For me, that is when the gas pain kicked in. I am still fighting it today but I know that is what it is. One word of advice, Gas-x is your friend. I have been taking it every 6 hours since surgery. They also have me on a drug called bentyl that is supposed to help the stomach heal faster by stopping muscle spasms. This drug is also taken every 6 hours. What else am I taking? Prilosec 1 time a day and lortab for pain. They gave me a prescription for Reglan an anti nausea drug but I haven't needed it at all. Last night I slept for 5 hours straight which felt good. Every time I get up I do some laps of the house and drink some water.

Today is the first day I have felt alive. I did sleep a lot this morning but that is all part of the healing process. I am thankful that I have a recliner to sleep in when my husband isn't home. Getting out of a bed is horrible right now because of the one stomach incision. I feel that I am gaining confidence with my sleeve, allowing me to drink more water than I thought I could. My goal for the first week is to meet my water intake goal of between 40-60 ounces a day. I will then focus on getting the protein amounts higher. I do think it will be easier to add protein when I am on purees, mushies, and soft foods. I can't wait to eat some cottage cheese.

Everyday gets easier and better pain wise. I did get a nice surprise that I will be off on disability for 3 weeks instead of the 1 week I was expecting. I will need that time to become adjusted to my new eating plan. By the time I am going back to work I will be on soft foods one week out from normal foods. I need to learn what I can handle and what I can not. Has every day been a positive expedience? No! Even today I was thinking what did I do to myself. When I was talking to a friend the first time she asked how I felt. I said I felt that I should have done WW instead. Like I haven't tried that before!  I think mostly I was just down on myself because I had to go to this extreme measure to lose weight, as if I don't have any self control. Like I said every day gets easier. I am already seeing changes on the scale in my body that is what makes me remember why I did this. I will post my official weight loss on Monday!

So, I only have 4 days left to wait! I am looking forward to surgery because I know from there, the types of food I can eat will only become more. The liquid diet is getting to be too much. I have to say that I am staying strong about 80% of the time. The bad days happened in the first week. I do add some lean protein every night because I get dizzy if I don't. The key to the liquid diet is drink whenever you feel like you are becoming hungry! Chicken broth helped me too. Having something salty after all that sweet helps. The weird part is that I have more energy doing the liquid diet. I am sure that is because the low carb amounts. I also picked a protein drink that does not have any gluten - gluten intolerance? That is also a possibility. 

I think I have food mourning starting already. I see something on TV or think about some things I used to eat and do a very mini freak out about never having it again. Overall, I am ok with it but it does get to me. I remind myself that I picked this surgery because of the normalcy that sleevers have. Not having to worry about dumping syndrome is a biggy for me. I want to be able to have some cake on my birthday and pie on Thanksgiving.  I do realize that this is a life change and that cake and pie will not happen every week anymore. I am fine with that!

I am one week away from surgery. I am committed to the liquid diet this week and I am excited to start my journey. I am worried about going back to work after 1 week but I don't have a choice.  I am already down 10 lbs. from where I started. I am hoping I can lose another 10 before surgery. I will be down 20 lbs. That means going into surgery at 235 lbs. That is the weight I was when I got married.

I went and got everything I will need for the hospital. I got gas-x strips and chewables (for after), dry mouth spray, and chapstick. I also got stuff from the grocery store - mashed potato buds, small containers, jello, pudding, refried beans. I have to go next Sunday and get yogurt, applesauce, dry milk, and cottage cheese. I should have enough food for about two weeks out.

Am I nervous about surgery? Not really. I am more nervous about after. What will my relationship with food be like, how much hanging skin will I have, questions like that. 

Today is the first day of my journey.  I feel that this surgery is the right fit at the right time. Back in 2009 I was on my way to having the lapband, couldn't go trough with it. So now it is my VSG journey.

I know it is right because I am doing well with the liquid diet. I realize it is only day one but thinking about the weight I will lose before only makes my goal come sooner.

It is the Friday before my surgery. So far I have only done the diet 1 full day. The rest I have done it until dinner time. I was doing great yesterday until my husband got our of work early last night and then all of a sudden I was trying to decide what to eat. I wasn't even hungry! This proves most of my over eatting is emotional. This is going to be a tough road. I am fighting with myself thinking I should have RNY.  So back on the horse. This was the right decision until I started having trouble with the diet.   7 more days

to say the least!
Did good until dinner. So it seems that Sunday has been my only 'clean' day. Dinner on all the other days has gone down the crapper. Until tonight I was only eatting soup and salad when I cheated. Need to focus....need to focus....January 1st there will be no cheating allowed!!!!!!!

I go for all my pre-op tests tomorrow. Should be short and sweet. Is it next Friday yet???

I did have a nice moment last night. My friends daughters and niece were talking about shoping at Forever 21. Never dreamed in a million years that I would ever get to shop in there. Last night all of a sudden I thought.....OMG it is a possibility....how fun! I always said it was good for our pocket book that I was fat. I would want all of the designer clothes out there. I know limit it to sunglasses and purses. 

I sit here wondering if it is a good thing or bad that I am doing the pre-op diet during the holidays. The office told me they understand it is difficult during the holidays so if I have a party to go to just don't go overboard.  Fat me says, this is great, you get to cheat and it is legal. Of course it seems like I have something almost everyday this week.  The new me, I wish they didn't say that to me, I have to be strong follow the rules. Every ounce lost is any ounce I won't see again.

So only 10 days to go. I have already lost 1.5lbs.! Got to get on the Wii Fit before I shower to go out to dinner!