seyrahhh

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 Ok. Been busy lol.   First off... I am now 130 lbs. :D TOO EXCITING!!! I was 255... And I had my wls (rny gastric bypass) on aug 27th 2011...   I was told about saggy skin... But since I'm 23 the doc said I'd bounce back for the most part... I guess it could be worse but it still looks pretty bad :/ I really wanted to keep my boobs and ass but that didn't work out... Went from a 38DD and now I'm a 34 c.... If I'm wearing a pushup bra :c    I haven't checked on measurements lately... But I wear a size 7 pants in junior sizes... I'm not gonna lie, people who get wls say wearing cute clothing isn't really a goal... But (besides getting healthy) IT'S FREAKING AWESOME. Since my upper arms and thighs still look saggy all I have to to is wear really tight panty hose or leggings and a half sleeve shirt or a shrug and I can wear mini skirts and shorts and cute dresses.... Never even thought about getting away with it before when I was big.... And now, that's all I wear or some skinny jeans.... I do have to wear one of those underwear corset things... But it's not that uncomfortable and it makes me look better... Yay ^_^   I moved away from my husband... When I did I was still fat... Then recently he saw I looked damn fine and tried to get me back... Saying stuff like "we have a kid we need to make this work" the exact same shit I was saying when I was trying to get him to come back to me but he chose his girlfriend over us... I was single and I still didnt want that asshole back.   There was a guy I met in January of this year and I was still chubby... We hit it off awesomely and we have all kinds of things in common. My family liked him... He met my daughter (something I don't let the guys I date do) and they got along great c: but as soon as it got serious he got stationed in Virginia.... He's in the coast guard.... So I haven't seen him since early April :c I told him I really liked him but we shouldn't talk... Long distance things do NOT work out. A couple of weeks ago he got in touch with me saying he was getting stationed in san diego and he wants me and my daughter to go with him. He asked me to marry him and explained in awesome detail how much he wanted me and my kid to be his everything....   I told him marriage isn't really something someone who is still technically married (on paper) does. So in December I'm packing me and my daughter up, enrolling in another nursing school there, and moving to San Diego! On my first date with him, it was a group thing with my cousin and her husband... Within the first hour, I pulled her on the side and told her I was going to marry this boy. I told her recently he asked, and now she's freaking out lol   When he left I didn't have a boyfriend, I dated guys but I couldnt find what I had with him... I didn't even feel this way about my husband. He's coming visit in August (he hasn't seen how much prettier I got hehehe) and I'm sooo excited. I sound like a freaking teenager. Im going to finish my semester here (pre nursing!) then hope there's an as good of a school there as there is here in December.   But back to wls stuff. Anything with more than 7g of sugar makes my stomach extremely upset... So I guess I'm lucky. Most people dont have problems with sugar so they just gain weight back... I can eat half a soft taco supreme with no lettuce and be overly stuffed. God taco bell is my weakness... And waffles. But sugar free syrup makes me feel less guilty. Sugar free everything is amazing... Except the ice cream... Sugar free ice cream makes my tummy upset... Splenda is my best friend. I don't crave bread or pasta ever... Yay! I love steak. And good thing...   Because my hair is falling out :c i started drinking muscle milk and I eat a lot of meat for protein... Lack of protein is what makes my hair fall out but ever since I started ordering muscle milk in bulk and pre made all ready to open sitting in my fridge, my hair loss has gotten better. My sight kind of sucks now :/ blood pressure is low... I have dizzy spells a lot and have even fainted... It's kind of scary... Developed bradycardia... That's when you have a slow heartbeat. My limbs fall asleep easily... I still have cushings disease... But its getting waaaay better bc I'm not on the cortioco steroids as much. My asthma is better too! I only need one puff of symbicort everyday. Still the highest concentration dose thing though (green)    Shaving kind of sucks... The extra skin makes it harder to do. Especially the underarms. I have no advice for that. Maybe I can do waxing and see if that's better?   Sex is a little awkward... I'm insecure about the saggy skin so I tend to stay away from any kind of well lit places... or I just don't do it at all so I get labeled as a tease :/ meh...   I can run, climb stairs, play with my kid without getting tired (best part) and flirt shamelessly and never get a bad look from guys. This has turned out to be an awesome decision.    Yes, the first couple of months suck... It sucks so bad. I regretted doing this to myself every day. But now that the worst is over, I'm so happy. I hope that's how everybody else who did this feels too. And if you're thinking about doing it, DO IT. It's nothing short of amazing.

its been almost 3 months since the surgery.... ive lost 55 lbs O_O i dont feel sick all the time anymore.... for some reason i keep teetering between 198 and 202.... what is up with that??? i just want it to be gone lol. i havent been really eating right.... but the last thing i crave is meat and thats pretty much the only thing im supposed to be eating.... O_o i crave pho ga and veggies soooo bad. pho isnt unhealthy so i guess its okay...

the divorce isnt going well.... my emotions and hormones have calmed down a lot but going through the process of divorce is well.... well it sucks. he has a live in girlfriend now but he still sleeps with me... :/ it really messes me up.... i love him but i have the feeling that he feels differently..... i had a new boyfriend but i messed it up by... you guessed it! sleeping with my husband.

my daughter is amazing.... but she points out her daddys pictures and yells daddy and blows them kisses :( i want her to have her family together.... but i messed that up and missed my chance to make things work out.... massively regretting asking for a divorce.... my mother had a major influence in that decision and now all i have to keep me sane and happy is my baby girl...

i didnt have surgery to fix anything other than my weight.... but for some reason things got worse after i got it... maybe its a coincidence....

well. i got my wls on august 24th, 2011 it was a RNY and i was around 250.... now im 227... i feel terrible. its september 11, 2011.... i kinda feel like a jerk for complaining about ANYTHING today actually :/



i knew that having wls would be life changing.... but i find myself screaming in my brain "GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" i know its supposed to get better later but why is it so horrible now??? everything is just really sh*tty. i cant pick up my daughter... i cant drink much water... i like to inhale water... now its just tiny sips and im thirsty ALL DAY. GAHHHHH!!!

im not new to the emotional roller coaster that everyone that has wls complains about... ive been on cortioco steroids my whole life so being emotional isnt different to me lolol. i did all this surgery stuff to get rid of my asthma and my cushings disease.... other than that i dont really have any problems... not diabetic... no high blood pressure.... no normal fat people problems.... which is surprising bc im 5'1 and 250. which was bad.

i dont think ive experienced the dumping stuff yet... food is just so unappetizing to me right now... looking at and smelling food makes me heave most of the time if not then throw up... im just soooo  thirsty. im so scared to drink though bc im afraid my tummy will explode lmao. i should probably talk to a doctor about that. >.>; i do like the fact that like 3 bites of something and im super full....

i think life is going to get harder though.... i got this awesome surgery and im going to be healthy and be able to exersice and be super awesome..... but im also about to go through a divorce... which im afraid will either motivate me to lose more weight or make me sulk and gain an ass-ton back. i know i have my daughter and im about to move closer to the rest of my family which is awesome.... but uh.... not having my husband is GOD AWFUL DEPRESSING.

its hard to find younger girls on this site... i kinda want to know what my outcome might be like.... what kinda things they went through... what happens to all the skin???? >.< lol