well.

Nov 18, 2011

its been almost 3 months since the surgery.... ive lost 55 lbs O_O i dont feel sick all the time anymore.... for some reason i keep teetering between 198 and 202.... what is up with that??? i just want it to be gone lol. i havent been really eating right.... but the last thing i crave is meat and thats pretty much the only thing im supposed to be eating.... O_o i crave pho ga and veggies soooo bad. pho isnt unhealthy so i guess its okay...

the divorce isnt going well.... my emotions and hormones have calmed down a lot but going through the process of divorce is well.... well it sucks. he has a live in girlfriend now but he still sleeps with me... :/ it really messes me up.... i love him but i have the feeling that he feels differently..... i had a new boyfriend but i messed it up by... you guessed it! sleeping with my husband.

my daughter is amazing.... but she points out her daddys pictures and yells daddy and blows them kisses :( i want her to have her family together.... but i messed that up and missed my chance to make things work out.... massively regretting asking for a divorce.... my mother had a major influence in that decision and now all i have to keep me sane and happy is my baby girl...

i didnt have surgery to fix anything other than my weight.... but for some reason things got worse after i got it... maybe its a coincidence....

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