shawnawrites
As a child I woke up and played outside all day only to come in when in desperate need of food. When in 6th grade I weighed a 100 pounds and thought I was obese..I had very low self-esteem. (I had sexual/physical abuse)At the end of 7the grade going into 8th. I was raped. In high school I played basketball and was active. But, chose really toxic people...like an abusive boyfriend who would call me names that included fat. I was a size 11. I felt like I was Roseanne Barr size. I have never been Angelina Joli...more like Tanya the ice skater. After going through therapy and realizing what love truly is... I met my husband. He is a cheerleader of mine and always believes in me. When he introduces me...you'd think I was Mia Angelou because he brags of my writing etc. We met on May 4th 1994 and I know this because he tells the story every chance he gets. He can say what I was wearing, my hairdo, and the date. I was a size 14 when we met. After having my children the scale never went down always up. I won Playwright of the year in 1998 for a play about overcoming sexual abuse and in 99 my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I quit college on a scholarship to care for her and she died March 20, 2000. I took care of her until they wheeled her out. It shook my world. In 2003 I went back to college and won a new scholarship and became a Writing Fellow (peer tutor in college). In June 2006 with the diagnosis of Diabetes I made a health commitment and lost 80 pounds. I was put on adipex by my doctor. In August 2006 I signed up for a biology class that was extremely hard. The teacher was a unprofessional, scattered, pill. I went to see a school advisor on how to pass this drama ridden class. She advised me to drop everything and focus on college. BAD IDEA! Yeah I passed the class but, I never could get back into the swing of working out, my husband changed jobs, hours, etc. In May 2007, I received my Associates in science. I went to see my doctor about a weight loss letter because I had gained 70 lbs back. I realized I needed help with food. After she said she'd have the letter in 10 business days I took a break from college and planned to have my surgery on Christmas break so, my family wasn't put under stress. November it started looking bleak. I still had NO letter. I started being persistent and calling weekly. In November I also started to experience chest pains and signs of either a horrid infection or a kidney stone. When I entered her office she laid into me. She yelled at me for taking up her time, told me to take a tums, told me I should have went to the emergency room, and slammed the door on the way out. I battled my kidney stone for 2 months. I became depressed and wanted to give up. I was bedridden on pain meds and eventually had to go to surgery to remove the stone and slowly gain the life that I lost back for the last 2 months. (I was glad I had taken that break from college and took it as a cosmic intervention) I tried to have Barix call my doctor to explain what I needed in the letter. The doctor was unprofessional and rude with them. The Barix person who called informed me that my doctor was not a doctor she was a Physicians Assistant and I wouldn't be getting a letter that would be approved anyhow. The letter needs to come from a doctor! This was a huge hurdle within me. I love camping, hiking, I have 3 kids, and I saw a future of obesity. (I at my highest of size 24 saw myself just getting bigger) Even though, I have kids who are active, etc. I feared them learning my coping, eating, etc skills. I felt as a mother I needed to do something for myself so it could trickle down to them. I started seeing a therapist and went on depression meds. In January 2008 I had a renewed sense of thinking and said "Why not find a new doctor" This was the best thing I ever did. I had my letter after my doc visit ...hmm...in at the most 2 weeks later. BTW in November is when I made the psych eval appt and had that letter too. I also... due to the adipex...have very high uncontrollable blood pressure...please don't ever take it..it's not worth your heart. So, to me my date of surgery wasn't a scary one. It was life. I see it as, WLS... well it is a cure for my diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. The side effect is I will be losing weight. This will help me to be active and learn the skills of healthy eating and living that I may pass on to my children. Here I am a week after surgery and I know this is just an aid I know I still have work to do. I need to work on why I eat, how much I eat, and making sure I always put my health at the top of my priorities. I will add my exercise into the mix and my first goal is a hiking trip to Hocking Hills Ohio. We are campers and I hope to camp and hike without being winded. My huge goal is to one day be able to run with my son. He is a cross country runner. I want to run and know that together we are enjoying life to it's fullest.
My husband had virtual surgery. He had originally signed up to have the surgery with me but, he is scared. He has lost 21 pounds so far. I know this seems very unrealistic but, if he has to do this as his last ditch effort...then I back him. If he does it...great. If not he has made a commitment that he will be having surgery. He is Zildjian under my friends section. He still is my biggest cheerleader. It's been 13 years together and I really have a great father to my children, supporter of me, soulmate. I hope this creates more years of us together for our children and each other. We hope to be old and riding in a RV camping and seeing the US.
My Journey Dates-
6/2006-7/2007 lost 80 lbs and gained 70 lbs with a doctor who put me on adipex, also was diagnosed with diabetes.
7/2007 Given a promise from original doctor to right my letter.
11/2007 made and had my psych eval in anticipation I would get that doc letter soon.
2/10/08 made an appt with new doc
2/20/08 met new doctor who gave me my letter within 10 business days.
2/27/08 Pre-op Took 3 hours. My blood pressure was very high...nerves maybe?
3/14/08 Surgery- After 3 C-Sections and other surgeries this was sooo easy. I was the second patient of the day but, the first to go home. I was walking in no time.
The rest is updated in my blogs and on my tickerfactory weight loss tracker. Thanks for reading my journey.
