Month One

Mar 15, 2011

36 pounds and still shrinking.  I was hoping for 40 but hey, 36 is close right?  I'm feeling pretty good, I'm doing OK with eating and taking my vitamins.  I can't really complain much about the physical stuff.  The head stuff, well that is a different story..............

I can't  stand people asking me how I'm doing with eating.  The other night we went to a friend's dinner party.  They were super nice and asked what all I can eat, soft veggies and potatoes and pured chicken was prepared.  In the process of dinner one of my friends said " man this is the least I've ever seen you eat".  That totally bugged the HELL out of me.  I'm tired of all the focus on food.  I just want to be normal, well as normal as someone can be with two stomachs. ha ha  After talking to my friend and mentor I was able to somewhat put things into perspective.  First off, I'll never be normal, I had surgery to physically change my body at my own choosing.  Second, I just need to get over it.  People will need to adjust to me and my changes as much as I have to adjust to my own changes.  This will only get better in time and just have to be patient, and enjoy the fact that none of my pants will stay up without a belt now!

Sometimes i sit in bed at night and think, WOW, I really did this.  It has only been one moth yet reality is just now sinking in with me.  I'm glad I made this decision, no matter how tough it feels sometimes.

 

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