Reflections at 6 weeks

Feb 09, 2013

Posted on the main board; decided to put it here for posterity.

My energy returned on Monday.  If you'd asked me if I was having low energy, I'd have said no, but let me tell you I was wrong, because I have SO MUCH MORE energy than even before the VSG now. 

This has been and continues to be an amazing process.  I have learned so much about my relationship with food, nutrition, and what a slacker I was even if I did exercise pre-op. 

I am also surprised by how positive all my friends and family have been so far.  I am exercising with my skinny friends (who I know have to slow down for me, but they don't complain), and they are generally supportive.  I may encounter a negative reaction at some point (I'm sure I will), but I don't care.

I am so glad I did this.  It is seriously the most empowering thing I have ever done.  For the first time EVER, I am confident in my ability to lose the weight and create a strong and healthy body, permanently.  Yes, I'll have to work for it, but I actually know I can do it.  I thought having WLS meant I was "giving up" on losing weight, but in reality, it was me taking control of the problem.  It's amazing.  Today, I am down 40.4 lbs.  The most weight I had ever lost in the past in one shot was 40 lbs.  This is just the beginning!

I know a lot of people think that if I could just exercise and diet and lose weight, I didn't really need WLS.  To those people, I say, "not if you are morbidly obese."  The VSG has removed physical hunger from the equation (for now), so that I can redefine my relationship with food.  When my nerve endings grow back and I feel hunger again, I'll be able to make better decisions.  There is no way I'd have made it through my stall a couple weeks ago without the VSG. 

Today my six-year-old asked me if I HAD to have my operation.  I told her yes, if I wanted to be a healthy weight, and that getting to a healthy weight would probably add 10 years to my life.  "TEN YEARS?!" she yelled.  "THAT'S a LOT!!"  I also told her that I could have stayed unhealthy and not have the operation, but that wasn't what I chose to do, and that I did a lot of thinking and research before making my decision.  Then I threw in that the best idea was to stay at a healthy weight so you don't need surgery.  I hope I can prevent my children from having my same battles with food.

If you are on the fence, I encourage you to do your research and make the decision that is right for you.  This is not easy, but it absolutely was the right thing for me.  I also encourage you to confront your own feelings about wls and people who have it before telling others.  When you've made peace with your decision and have reframed it as taking control, you care less about what others think.

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