Terrified of gaining....

Feb 25, 2012

So maybe I jinxed it by mentioning that I had broken my stall.....but I got down to 214 last week....and now am back up to 217. WTF??

My Honey says to throw my scale out the window. He said its obviously broken.

I haven't changed my habits other than for a few days I didn't get in as much water as I should have. Other than that, I haven't broken my routine at all.

Trying not to panic is creating the opposite effect. I am terrified that I will gain the weight back!! and then some!!!

Years of learned behaviours and all that....3 months of losing then WHAM!!! back to watching the scale slowly rise and climb until I am right back where I started....then over the edge of that cliff!!

I am sure that other people have gone through this and I am also sure that they have had the exact same thoughts as I am having. I am sure this will pass and I will be in love with my scale by the end of the week....but for right now, I am not. Not happy with my scale, my RNY, the clinic or anyone else who has never had a stalling or gaining issue since surgery.

It's not like I ever thought this journey would be easy.....but maybe I didn't think it would be *quite* so hard :(

It's also not like I am expecting to lose 5-7lbs a week!! I don't think I am being unrealistic when I say that all I want to see is downward progress!! As long as the scale is moving in the right direction, I am a happy camper. When it starts creeping up.....I start to get worried :(

Self doubt and negative self-talk start creeping in. "Oh you should have drank your water. You should have known this would happen. Who do you think you are anyways to think you would ever be 'normal'?? "

Now, I am in a bad mood. Sundays suck.

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