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I am so thankful to be finally feeling more "normal".  My pain is minimal at best and I was even able to sleep in bed last night, which is a first.  The recliner has been my saving grace since I came home.

I went on a short shopping trip with my boyfriend last night and in combination with the 100 degree temperatures, I was completely worn out.  I so wish I could guzzle water!!  Nothing sounds better on a hot summer day than lots and lots of cold water.  Thankfully, my sleeve doesn't protest too much when I drink cold water. 

I cannot wait until next week when I can start eating some pureed foods.  I am looking forward to yummy soups, black beans with cheese and sour cream, and pureed tuna salad (sounds gross but I'm excited!). Anything with a little texture!!  Premier Protein shakes are amazing and I am so glad I decided to purchase them.  I cannot stand mixing the powdered whey protein into anything.  I have a texture problem to say the least.

And on an even greater note...down 19.4 pounds!  I'm trying not to weigh myself every day because I know there will be days (or weeks) that I don't lose....but right now I need the motivation :)

 A week has gone by since my surgery and I've certainly had my ups and downs. Thinking back, the first few days were very trying. I was experiencing remorse and grieving over the loss of my former relationship with food. But with each sunrise comes new hope for a better day. Now a week out, I am starting to feel better, both physically and emotionally. I have the greatest support system I could ask for. Although I live in Michigan and my family in Chicago, they are still very involved in my recovery. Actually, my dad is in Arizona (enjoying the 100 degree temps) at his vacation home and my mom and siblings are in Europe for their vacation. Despite the thousands of miles between us, they make sure to check in with me daily. This is in addition to my boyfriend and his fabulous family that have been behind me 100% of the way. Without these supports, I'd be a mess!

Anyways, I'm feeling pretty good today. Still having some mild pain around two of my incision sites and slight has pain in my abdomen. I've been sleeping in my recliner since coming home and I tried to sleep upstairs in bed last night...what a huge mess that was. I was so uncomfortable and laying in bed have me some pretty weird sensations in my abdomen. I guess my place is on the recliner for a little while longer, at least until I'm healed enough to lie on my side or stomach. 

Signing off for now :) Here's to a great day!

 Up until today I've been pretty miserable. Not able to drink very much and brief nausea associated with protein drinks. Let me tell you, Premier Protein Shakes have been my saving grace. No mixing, no nothing. Super easy and tastes good too. As of today, I can drink half of one (6oz) at a time. My goal is to drink two per day which will give me 60gm of protein. 

My outlook on this surgery has changed, virtually overnight.  When I came home I was miserable, crying, and grieving over the decision I made to mutilate my insides for my own (seemingly) vanity. But when it comes down to it, this isn't about vanity. This is about health and living life. I'm ready to live my life and will work through the next six or so weeks of transitions. 

I can do it. I will do it. End of story. 

 So, I've been home for over 24 hours now. My surgery went well and recovery is progressing. Last night was rough, having vomited once and dealing with lots of pressure in my abdomen. I'm unable to take my Lortab pain medication because it makes me very nauseated. I'm sipping my liquids throughout the day but sometimes having difficulty with that, too. My pressure is starting to go away but when it comes back, it's bad. 

Going to try and get more liquids down. I've been sleeping a lot and using a heating pad on my incisions to help with the pain. I just have to remember that things will get better!

 I'm feeling pretty good. I have some heart burn type issue and I'm hoping that goes away quickly. Sitting and standing are painful and I also have some pain under my rib cage. 

On a happy note, I'm glad to be home. The couch is my new best friend. I've tried to get down some broth and cranberry juice. That caused some discomfort in my stomach and ice chips seem to help that. I'm in no rush to start introducing other foods until I am completely settled.

Just about 16 hours to go until my surgery. I'm nervous and excited and somewhat sad. I have to learn to grieve over the loss of my previous food life. It makes me sad to think that I cannot experience food in the same way anymore. Food and I had a very passionate relationship and saying goodbye is painful. 

Just like my divorce two years ago, I knew it was for the best. And yet, my heart ached just as it does now. Tonight will involve some meditation and deep breathing to prepare me for this most awesome of adventures. 

I will find peace in my soul and awaken to my new life feeling whole.

So, here we are, less than a week away from the big day.  It's hard to believe that this is actually going to happen.  For so long I have wanted my outward appearance to match how I see myself on the inside.  I don't think that I've ever seen myself as a "fat person".  Sure, I've had a hard time doing certain things or wearing clothing that I like, but never have I put myself down for how I look. 

This is a journey that I want to embark on and thankfully I have the support of many friends and family.  I have a private cheering section just for me.  They are looking forward to the changes just as much as I am. 

I have all of my immediate food needs purchased and I feel confident that I am ready for Tuesday, June 19 at 9:30am.  Let my journey begin!