Almost 3 weeks - Why does it have to be so damn hard?

Jul 16, 2010

Well, on Monday, 7/19, it'll be 3 weeks and my surgeon says I'm okay to graduate to the pureed stage (Phase III). Like someone on a forum wrote, I'm nervous/scared, too. But I'm sooo looking forward to having something other than Protidiet drinks and some blended soup. Cottage cheese sounds sooo yummy right now, as does mashed potatoes. It's been really nice to read the other's posts and it actually helps to see how others have/are handling everything. It's just so hard to understand and believe the differences in "plans" our surgeons have. I read where one woman was allowed to eat white, flaky fish as soon as she came home from the hospital. I've only been allowed soups, blended, and strained! Why are there such big differences between surgeons?! It doesn't make sense to me and it's frustraiting.

Now that my medications have been adjusted, I'm feeling better emotionally , but I still have times when I wonder if I've done the right thing...and I can't believe I'm saying it out loud, but I know there has to be others here that feel or have felt the same way. I mean, for almost 3 weeks now, I've been "drinking" only, have no appitite, and for all intents and purposes, still look the same. I KNOW it's not like, "POOF," you're skinny now, but it just seems that I should be seeing some difference by now. Dumb, I know. I tell myself, for crying out loud, it's only been 3 weeks (not even) for pete's sake!!  Give yourself a break, girl! It's just hard, hard, hard. I'm also allowed to start exercising on Monday and I meet with the personal trainer Monday afternoon. I'm actually looking forward to that. I'm tired of sitting around and feeling weak. But if I do too much, I get really tired. It's at those times that I ask myself what have I done. I pray for strength and I'm determined to make this work. I know that anything worth having is worth fighting for. I must stay strong and know that I WILL get through this stage. Why oh why didn't they tell us it would be so friggin hard?!?

0 Comments