Starlene02

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As of last Wednesday 11/25/15 I was 2 weeks post op. I was officially down 22 pounds this morning 11/27/15. I also turned 34 today and I realized how much I regretted trying so hard on my own for so long before reaching out for help. In a way, I'm starting my life over at 34. I'm ok with that though because at least I know that I did all I could before making such a drastic choice. My hubby ordered me a Fitbit Charge for my birthday today too. He can be pretty awesome sometimes. My weight feels like it's coming off slowly but I'm going to stay positive. I may lose slowly but the scale is moving and even though my journey feels like it's going to be a rough road, at least my journey is happening!! I've watched my family eat Thanksgiving in front of me over and over again at this point and will have to endure it again tomorrow. I've wanted to taste the food but surprisingly I haven't been bitter! I just find myself exhausted yet happy that things are changing. This Holiday season has already given me so many more reasons to be thankful. Plus the scale read a 2lb loss this morning so Happy Birthday to ME!!!

I've really taken my time getting back into the swing of things and I'm still not 100% ready to jump back in. My surgery was last Wednesday 11/11/15 so I'm actually one week and 3 days post op! Sorry for the delayed update. I was a nervous wreck going into surgery but it was over with before I realized it and I'm glad I watched plenty of videos preop because I woke up in excruciating pain! Most say there is no pain but that was not the case for me. They quickly cured that with 4 IV shots of dilaudid and that was the worst of it. I never really had any bad gas pains. I've just been really achy and I'm having trouble getting much down. My surgeon says I had a little stomach to begin with so I have a very small sleeve. Which makes sense because, as I've said, I didn't get this surgery primarily for over eating. I got it more as a shock to my body, a reset to how I burn calories and a deterrent for making the simple meal choices.. aka, the not so healthy choices. I have an extremely hard time losing weight so I had to make some changes. My doctor thinks that I burn about half what the average person would burn so the way I figured it, my stomach should be smaller anyway! lol My starting weight at the hospital was 248 so I lost 10 pounds on my preop diet. I had my surgery Wednesday morning and was sent home Friday evening weighing more that I did going in, most likely due to swelling and IV fluids. I've lost very little since I've been home. I'm currently sitting at 241 and I'm struggling to hit 300 calories and not even close to hitting my protein and fluid intake. I'm working on it. I started walking on my treadmill last night, Friday 11/20/15, at a rediculously slow pace since any bouncing at all makes me crampy. From what I've seen people usually lose more than that during week 1. My family has been extremely supportive and they have really stepped up to give me the time I need to recover. They are making sure my kids are where they need to be, that my pets are tended to and that my house work is done. My kids are extremely active kids so this is no easy task. Between my husband, mom, dad and the kids helping out, we are making it work. I couldn't be more grateful. My husband has been working everyday on top of this and is still being very supportive. I was so affraid that I'd feel alone in my journey but that is just not the case. I'll have just a little extra thankfulness this Thanksgiving. I've also had several members from here message me personally to check in with me which I appreciate more than you know. I got my Christmas decor up before surgery so I'm just trying to concentrate on feeling better and altering my diet. My hubby stopped this morning to get me some soup from Subway so I'm gonna sip on that for the day and cuddle under a fuzzy blanket. It's chilly and windy here at the moment so it's a good day for it. Thanks to everyone for keeping in touch.

My last weight loss visit was on Oct 1st. It was a full week later before my surgery coordinator sent off for insurance review and nearly another full week with several false alarms before I had an absolute YES!! This has been a VERY long, lonely, stressful process. Since it took so long to get my approval it will still be another month before I actually have surgery which sucks but at least I have plenty of time to get my head on straight and everything taken care of for my kids. I go in Oct 29th for all of my final preop testing and classes. My surgery will be on Nov 11th. With my surgery being pushed back I have a lot more time to push myself through the complete terror to the finish line but on the bright side it means that I won't miss my daughters student athlete ceremony at school, my sons last football game of the season and I'll get to be active for Halloween. I'm trying really hard to be positive and keep myself distracted at least until closer to time but the truth is that it's ridiculously hard. I mean I've had fear through this process, it's a big surgery and a scary lifelong change! However when that absolute YES came in, so many massive mixed emotions washed in. It's like being told your pregnant for the first time! I'm excited for the change but completely terrified at the same time. On one hand I know this is the best thing that I can do and I know I'm going to do it but on the other hand I'm terrified and that "What if I'm making a mistake?" creeps in when I least expect it. I'm going to keep pushing forward because I know I need this and want the change but the terror is massive.. the struggle is so real!

It's been a while since I've posted! I'll apologize now for this being so long. Like you're about to read a book! lol When I left off I was at month 4 and hadn't yet had my sleep study. I have now had my CPAP for about a month and I'm currently trying to get my rainout issues under control. It's really very annoying. I just can't seem to get use to wearing a mask every night. The doctor says I may also need my tonsils out once I get some weight off. On the bright side, I'm now getting treatment for a serious condition that I didn't know I had and it's a comorbidity closer to insurance approval.. not that I want to be sick. I recently had surgery on my arm where they discovered a precancer. I had to have the area excised and stitched up. My latest biopsy was all clear so that was yet another issue averted. I'm obviously still seeing my Dr for my fibro and I also recently started seeing a doctor for all my horrible joint pain. There's a reason I've gained so much and it isn't just my eating habits! lol I obviously have some issues. Anyway, this isn't the first orthopedic dr I've seen. I've had to have physical therapy over my knees and everything but I still have problems. I have osteoarthritis and chondromalacia. The Dr thinks I may need surgery on my knees to relieve pressure from the kneecaps. I've had issues with my knees since I was a teenager even before I gained the weight so I know something has to be done for sure. He also thought a carpal tunnel surgery may be necessary. I had an MRI of the knees and I'm suppose to be going in for nerve testing to reconfirm that I have carpal tunnel before I have a follow up. Here's the thing though, knee surgery scares me like 1000x worse than a weight loss surgery! Which brings me to my last issue, migraines! I have a bad neck to go along with all of my other issues. There is no curve to my neck. I think it's called cervical kyphosis. You couldn't look at me and tell that I have so much going on but it's there. lol When my headaches get really bad I have to see my chiropractor and I always stop going once my issues are fixed. Last week I had a horrible migraine that I had to go in and get the pain & nausea shots for which I never do. I usually just deal with the pain. I started seeing my chiropractor again and my knee issues came up. I never thought to talk to him about my knees! He adjusted my hips and knees and it helped immensely! That being said, I will be putting off the orthopedic specialist as long as possible and am more determined than ever to keep up with my chiropractic visits. As you can tell I've being going hard core trying to get my health on the right track. I want my knees, neck and headaches to cooperate long enough to get through workouts and I'm beyond sick of being sick! Oct 1st will be my 6 month weight checkup with the pcp! All of my paperwork will officially be in and ready to be resent off for insurance. If they deny me again I'm sure I'll be twice as devastated as before but I won't give up. I'll be appealing their decision. I feel like I've done my part. I meet the weight standards, I have comorbidities, I've done my 6 months and paid every week for insurance to pay my bills... I will have my surgery!! lol Now you know where I am physically, there's no way  to explain all I'm dealing with mentally & emotionally. I'm terrified of the surgery, that something will go wrong or the surgery will fail for me. I'm terrified of being denied by insurance and terrified of not being denied and facing the surgery. I hate going to the Dr so all of these doctor appointments are draining and this is just concerning my health. I have a whole world revolving around this struggle to be healthy.. a husband and 2 very, very busy kids 8 & 13 yrs old. Both are straight A students and extremely active. My daughter is in 8th grade. She is currently a cheerleader while doing gymnastics, archery, beta club, academic team, youth services for her school and she's also active in church. My son is a 3rd grader who plays both football and basketball this season while taking MMA classes. She has braces while he's in the process of having his put on.. between my doctor appointments, my kids appointments, practices, games, homework and the remodeling of 2 rooms in my house.. I feel like I'm battling a hurricane. I've decided to keep my surgery somewhat private so I can't expect everyone to know they need to back off but I just cant be this horribly involved sports mom right now, working concessions, throwing parties.. I just can't explain why. I'd for sure say I'm a hot mess of stress and emotion. lol For once I have to take the time to take care of the things I haven't wanted to face, even if that means I look selfish. They may not understand that they are a big reason why I need to do this but maybe one day they will. They are actually very considerate kids but it doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm being selfish. I just keep pushing past it, pushing forward. I made myself a motivation wall inside my closet door to help keep me reminded of every reason that this is so important. The surgery is going to happen. I won't stop until it does, I just hope that it's enough to help me get my life on the right track.

In my last post I was told I was at the finish line. It was shortly after that, that I got the bad news. Originally my insurance company (several times in fact) told me that I wouldn't be required to complete the 6 month doctor monitored diet program. Then after submitting everything for approval they informed me that I was told wrong.. apparently many times. Also since I had no names of the employees I talked to or any reference numbers there would be nothing they could do. SO, I immediately started seeing my doctor for monthly weight loss. I'll be starting month 4 in August. I was really looking forward to having my surgery before Summer and I couldn't tell you how upset I was that it was denied. Heart broken.. just devastated. I talked to my doctors and one set up a sleep study so I'll be going in for that this week and my pcp will be doing all she can to help as well. I'm not sure if I have to start all over from step 1 or if my completed monthly paper work will just be added to my pile. I should be finished with my 6 months by the beginning of November. I guess I'm due a phone call to my surgeons office to see if I should be redoing paperwork.

I had an appointment with my new surgeon last Friday and I just love her. Now I see why they didn't have me to do the sleep study or other clearances earlier as well. My surgeon says I'm not a high risk and she isn't requiring me to do all of the specialists and tests. I simply have to get surgical clearance as far as cardiac and pulmonary from my pcp which I will have an appointment with here in about an hour. Also yesterday (Monday) I got my scope testing completed and I'm awaiting results on that as well as my insurance. If all goes well I'll have my surgery date set soon!! All I'll have left before surgery at that point is my last set of pre-op tests and the last education course followed my 2 week pre-surgery diet. My urgency to get to the finish line has calmed down but I'm still making amazing time as far as completing the pre-op process from what I've been told and from what I've read. I only chose to have this surgery around the end of February and I'm hoping as long as I stay on the ball my pace will not falter and my surgery will get here before Summer!

I got my evaluation competed yesterday where I was informed that I may be required to complete a sleep study to test for sleep apnea. Had I known that months ago I could of already had that taken care of. It just seems to me like this whole process is a bit unorganized. I feel like I took another step towards surgery and 3 steps back. I was also told I'd have to probably have other clearances from my doctor like cardiac or pulmonary. My doctor isn't exactly easy to get into to see at the last minute! On the bright side, I had an appointment with my nurse and a mental health professional which both went well and my dietician who passed along lots of great book titles, recipe sites and alternate food choices to choose from. The surgeon I chose is booked for over a month so I opted to switch surgeons. They trained together and by all accounts she's a good surgeon. I'm hoping I don't regret that decision. I'm set to meet with the new surgeon next week and hopefully by tomorrow maybe I'll know exactly what clearances I need to start setting up appointments for. In the meantime I'll be working on getting my Spring Cleaning finished since tomorrow is the first day of SPRING!!

I heard from my surgeons office today. I've been verified but not yet approved by my insurance for my surgery. I've waited for a week and a half for them to verify! It's pretty frustrating. I really just want everyone to get their acts together and get me scheduled! lol I understand that I'm not the only thing they have to worry about but the longer I have to wait to get this process rolling, the more I freak myself out. I also realize that since I just decided to do this like around Feb 20th that my timing as far as my process isn't horrible, I'm just ready to be home, recovered and on the road to weight loss. I have my evaluations with my nutritionist, psychologist, and nurse this coming up Wednesday. After that I'll be able to meet with my surgeon and will have to wait around some more to have my insurance approved before I'll even have a surgery date. This is just taking too long for me. Impatient is an understatement!

I completed my information seminar today starting my journey into weight loss surgery. Of course I'd already done all of my own research and completed most of my paper work. There was only one other person who had completed any of their packet and she didn't seem to have much done so I guess I'm a little ahead. I'm rushing for several reasons. For one I'm terrified and I don't want the time to talk myself out of it. I 100% know this is something that I need that will help me so I'm full speed ahead. Also I figure if I can get this surgery done before Summer I'll have time to heal enough before it's time to open my pool so that I can use it for exercise and then maybe by next Summer I'll be at least close to my goal. Wishful thinking but as long as it's giving me drive right. lol My doctor is difficult so I'm still waiting on my support letter from him to be faxed over and also I goofed and somehow wrote the wrong dates getting my medical records released so I ended up with 2013 records instead of 2014! No clue how I did that but anyway that should be easy enough to take care of. My biggest obstacle at the moment is getting my doctor to get his tail in gear so that I can get my insurance to approve. Not sure If I mentioned this before but I chose to have the sleeve gastrectomy. I know this is the right choice for me and I'm just ready to get it done.