Stephanie B.

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We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act, but a habit. ~  Aristotle

Make It a Habit

Personal improvement, whether it’s weight loss or fitness, is about creating or losing a habit. It shouldn't be thought of as a short-term event. People diet until they lose 20 pounds, and then stop the smart eating and exercise strategies that got them there. Once they reach their goal, they go back to the way they lived before and wonder why the weight comes back. For permanent change, habits need to stick around for the long run. With repetition and time, a single action will seem habitual. Once it becomes a habit, it becomes part of who you are, and the transformation is complete.

Can't believe I have not posted in over 4 weeks! Thats the longest I have ever gone with out updating my profile....woe is me....

Here are my stats:

HW 327
SW 318
LW185
CW 185.8

So I missed last week....and I am back this week....and did not weigh last night...I was too lazy and not excited....its not as much fun to weigh when you are not losing anymore....and even less fun when you are gaing...my weight this morning was 180.4 but ish and I am always a few pounds heavier at night....so I will say I am still 185 and go from there.  (same story as last week) Lol  I only had protein powder mixed in yougurt yesterday trying to break this carb cycle but not doing so well..........this is a journey and not a destination for sure.........


HW 327
SW 318
LW186.6
CW 185

So I missed last week....and I am back this week....and did not weigh last night...I was too lazy and not excited....its not as much fun to weigh when you are not losing anymore....and even less fun when you are gaing...my weight this morning was 183ish and I am always a few pounds heavier at night....so I will say I am still 186.6 and go from there.  


HW 327
SW 318
LW186.6
CW 186.6

A day late but here are my stats:


HW 327
SW 318
LW 190
CW 186.6

So I had this really interesting dream....and I want to try and remember it all and get it written down before it all fades away...mind you I have been awake for about 3 hours already and probably forgotten lots of tiny details...but the main points are  this..

For some reason me and two of my co workers were walking down Brainerd Road towards our call center...it was me Kai and Chi Chi.  We were just walking and talking about nothing major or nothing that I could remember.  Then for some reason as we got closer to the call center, there was this big mountainish like wall that some how I slipped thru and was hanging like on the ledge....the moutainish thing was facing another big rocky moutain like thing but there was a big gap between them..and a big drop to the bottom of the thing if I fell...so I am standing on the edge of the this thing and I cant get back to the side where my friends were and I end up falling down to the bottom...it was a long drop and I just knew I was a goner!  I am screaming and crying and praying and I am falling feet first (wonder why lol most times when ppl are falling in movies they are kind of falling in a prone position and kind of arms and legs flying wildly) but not me..I am feet first and just falling...as I get closer to hitting the bottom, something whispers that i should turn  to my side and land that way....so I did and I landed safely with out any injuries.  Next obstacle...getting out of the ravine....I had to climb up the moutain like thing that was on the opposite side of the one I had just fallen from...not sure why I did not try and get   back up the one where I had fallen...but anyway.,....I made it up the moutain but when I get to the top there is just a narrow ledge to sit on and there is a deep drop off on the back of it...so I end up sitting on the edge and had my hands behind the thing so that I would not fall forward again...this side seemed a bit unstable to me and I begin to panic...the part that I was holding on to felt like it was crumbling and I was going to fall again....I start to look around and notice that there are window sized holes cut along the side of the this thing in some places...and i scoot down towards them and start to look in and noticed that one of the openings looked like a break room of some sort and their was a telphone there.....so I manage to climb into the room and and as I was about to use the telephone...someone walks in for their break and I go over and look out the door and it leads outside to a normal road and cars are parked their and everything...right in the middle of no where there was this one room that was just normal and led back to what I was used to.  So some how a few of my other co workers were out side waiting for me and they gave me a ride back down the mountain side and I woke up.....I don't know the person I rode down with..but my friend Britney was there but for some reason I did not ride back down with her.

I dont know if anyone who reads this watchs Chevy Chase Lampoon Vacations but this dream reminded me of the one when they are at a dam and he walks out the door and stuck out on the ledge with a steep drop off.....it was scary!

But anyway..after I woke up and thought about this dream...I reallized that there was a message to it for me...even when I don't know what is going to happen and when I am scared for my life and bodily harm.....God protects me and tells me which way to turn so that I can avoid harm (the whisper telling me to turn on my side before hitting the bottom) and even when I am at the bottom of a pit...God is there with me and will give me strength to climb what ever moutain I am facing..and when I get to the top of the moutain...he will provide a window of opportunity for me to go thru and find rest and safety! 

There was lots more to the dream but since I waited so long to write it down I have forgotten so much of it...I tell you God still speaks to us, we only have to listen to His voice which may not "sound" like we expect it to.  So don't ignore your dreams, or other messengers that He sends to encourage you......

Boy.....this is the longest I have ever gone without posting my weight! Not a good sign for me...my wieght is still up and down...when I went to the doctor my legs were swelling while in the office and she prescribe me water pills taking 1/2 a pill every day now instead of as needed.....My weight went up to 193 and now after the water pills....181....**sighs**


HW 327
SW 318
CW 190

This was in my inbox after I had posted the message below....it actually has been in my inbox but I just read it today and it was needed! On time as usual....

Repeat after me: God has kept me here for a reason.
I survived because He has a plan for me.
All my bad relationships, the addictions, the consequences, the bad
credit, the repossessions, the death of my loved ones, the back
stabbing from my friends, the negative thoughts, or the lack of support;
I made it because I am blessed!

I release and let go of all past hurts, misunderstandings and grudges
because I am abundantly blessed! I recognize them as the illusions they
are, and sent from the enemy to kill my spirit, steal my joy, and destroy
my faith; for God is all there is. All else is a lie!


Now give yourself a hug, wipe your tears away and walk in victory!!!!!!!!
I love you, but more appropriately God loves you BEST!
Be blessed and know that you are at one with THE SPIRIT OF THE LIVING GOD! 

   

Not really about Valentines Day....

I can't believe I am actually posting this on a public place...but this is where I am at this moment and there you have it......I even shared this with my 18 year (Maybe I should not have) but I wanted to tell her that she is not the only one who has bad days...I spend so much of my life trying to hold everything together and pretending like nothing bothers me and that its just all good...but today, maybe since she turned 18 Wednesday, I wanted her to know that its hard being a single parent and trying to raise her right.  That its hard, hard, hard and that when she thinks I am just a mean old cruel person, I am just trying to get her to think about what she is doing and trying to point her in the right direction..but today....I am just tired...tired of having to make all the decisions and tired of having to do everything.....Just for today...I just want to leave it for someone else to do and deal with....but I cant....at least I know that I have a God that will reach down into the deepest valley and drag me out...kicking and screaming if He has too..but He will....leave the 99 to come get this 1 lost sheep just because he loves me...no matter what......who would not want to serve a God like that?  Inspite of all that I wrote below.....I know God is good and it all works out for my good. 

So I woke up this morning having a bit of a pity party and was watching the news and was talking to God about the sorrow and pain the familes that lost loved ones in the plan crash that fell on a house and also for the 5 year old little girl who has been missing for 5 days now....and asking him to touch and comfort those in need.  Then I had the nerve to tell my God who has more than blessed me through my life that instead of taking the lives of those who would be missed that he should have taken mine instead...I was feeling "mighty low" as quoted from the color purple this morning and just felt so tired and discouraged.  I was thinking about how one of the ladies in my work out group lost her father to a home invasion and how saddened she was..and I was saying to God that He could have spared that one man's life who left a daughter behind to mourn him and be saddened and sent the home invaders to my house instead and taken me who really just don't have a desire to go on....I am so tired...I am so disappointed in my self for my eating behaviors and this weight regain and just the way my life is right now and it is all because of decisions I make but I feel that I am so not in control.....


So after that talk with God I leave home to go and work out, thinking maybe I will have a bad car accident on the way or something like that....I decided to go to the recreation center close to my house instead of the gym at work...I get there and they say the work out room will not open for an hour....so this guy was there and was like I am going to go and walk on the levy you can just come walk with me..he was an older gentleman so it was not like he was threat or anything...so I was like okay..its a public place no big deal.  So we go have a wonderful walk and talk for about 3 miles...as we get back to where we started...this other guy jogs up to us and says..."hey man, someone burst your car window out and left a sledge hammer on the seat"...and of course my purse was in the car...which I never take with me but I was going to the store when I finished.  I usually leave my purse in my car when I go to the gym, but since I was working out a different gym, I took it in with me and then when I was going to walk with the gentleman, I still had my purse with me and did not think much about it until we got there and I tried to hide it under the seat....of course that didnot work...they took my purse which had all my vitamins and supplements in it that I had just replenished my stash, had my car keys and house keys, my wallet with my ss card, Drivers Licensce, Credit Cards and Lord only knows what else....

But you know what...the hasty words I had with God this morning about sending someone to invade my home....well we should be careful what we say think and do...God is ALWAYS good to us, even when we don't deserve it but He does not like to be mocked or for us to be so ungrateful....Now some unknown person has keys to my house, my car and my address that was on my checks.  I don't even have an extra set of car keys..had my truck for 3 years and never got an extra key made.  Now my car is stuck at the gym cause the dealership is not open until Monday (maybe cause its a holiday) and I have to wait to get my key made and my locks changed.  I have to get my house locks changed today and have my mom pay for them cause I don't have checks or credit cards to pay for anything.  I have called and cancelled all that I could remember was in there.  I read somewhere you should make copies of your wallet and I did..but you know what.....I have no idea where I put the copies.  Way to Go Steph.....

We do have the power to speak things into existence and we should always be mindful of our thoughts and words and actions.  I am still tired and feel like I felt this morning but I know that God will continue to supply all my needs and that no matter what I am going thru or I what ever I am facing....things could always be so much worse and I know that God is always right here with me and that the bad choices I have been making with my eating habits that I can and will do better.  This surgery has been such a blessing for me and I will no longer take it for granted.

HW 327
SW 322
LW 185.2
CW 188.6

Up again..but you know I know last week was a good week for not grazing between my meals and exercise so I am not discuraged.  I will continue to make healthful eating decisions and get my work out on and see you next week with a loss.  I know I have some fluid build up as my ankles and thighs have that weird feeling in them..kind of all tingly and such.  I have an appt tomorrow with my internal meds doctor and will disuss this with her.  TTYL