Stephanie B.

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Well, believe it or not...I have not weighed since last Tuesday!! Iam no longer addicted to the scales!! lol I have my second counseling session tonight with the behavior modification lady and will let you kno how this goes. The first sessions was not that impressive.  But I will not give up. Here are my stats this week:

Highest weight 327
Pre Surgery weight 318
Last week weight 290
Current weight 285

I guess I better get up and get ready for work! I am running late as usual playing on this darn computer!!

Well, I decided I am not going to weigh every day anymore..and that is so much easier to say than to do!! But I have not been on the scale since Tuesday.  Woohoo!! lol Its a shame that I of course was not friends with the scale before surgery and now it my best friend!  lol  I went out to buy me a pair of work out pants yesterday and decided to buy me a pair of small sweat pants ( size 14) and I will keep you posted once I get in them!! I will be so excited at that time.  One of my friends gave me the idea to start buying smaller sizes on clearance so once I get in to smaller sizes I will not have to spend an arm and a leg on new things. 

Head hunger is real! I am finally having it and I hate it.  I have been craving some Wendy's chicken nuggets like a mug!  But I have resisted them so far.  I don't want those refined carbs and starches.  Why are the things we love to eat so bad for us??  I love carbs and sweets and things and I am missing them so much right now.  I went to a luncheon today and they had an Italian style lunch.  Every thing looked so good.  So I got a piece of ham, an olive, wheat cracker (1), got some lasagna and ate the filling and left the noodles.  And it was sooo good.  I also ate quiche for breakfast with eggs and spinach and bacon..let the wonderful looking crossiant that it was filling.  That was hard!  Did I mention I love carbs??? lol But it is worth it all.   37 lbs gone and I have not weighed since Monday Morning!!

Also, I threw up for the first time while eating yesterday.  I was eating meatloaf and tried to eat a big piece and did not chew it very well.  I was beginning to wonder if my tool was going to work and now I know it will!! lol

 Well, that is all I have to say for now.  TTYL

Well it has been almost five weeks since my surgery and I am down a total of 37 pounds!! woohoo!! I am starting to see a difference when I put on clothes.  More than few items in my closet had gotten to little and I could not wear them any longer.   But now I am notice that I can comfortably fit into items that I used to not be able to wear.  So that is cool beans.

I love my job but at times, food is every where!! Every Monday we have a new hire class..which is often, HR eats for free, its a call center so some team is always having a pot luck and inviting HR * we cant say no can we??** Lol or we are going out to eat, staffing ppl are bringing us junk food, graduations for the new hires with cake all the time, or some reason to celebrate and there is lots of junk food passed around.  I think in my first year here I gained like 50 pounds!! So this first phase of weight loss is just me losing all that I gained since starting my new job.  After I lose that first 50, then I will really begin to feel like I am doing something!! So, when I get to around 277, I will be jumping for joy!! So I guess that is my first mini goal.  My second mini goal will be to get to 250 and I will let you know when I get their.  Here is a recap of my weight loss so far:

Highest weight:   327
Day of Surgery:   318
Last Week:  295
Current:  290

So I have been eating activia yogurt for lunch lately and had been eating the vanilla flavor because I am a plain jane....the other day I decided to branch out and try another flavor and got strawberry....had it for lunch today, did not really like it but I ate it cause I needed to eat and as soon as I finished the last bite, I decided to look at the label again (or at least I thought again), and why did this yogurt have 17 grams of sugar and 19 carbs???? in 4oz??? I was so horrified! My nutrionist stated I should have no more than 15 grams of sugar per serving to prevent dumping so I was freaking out!! I did not want to be sick at work and I still had 4 hours to go...So can some one please tell me why I did not get sick?????????? I am so upset that I did not dump off all that sugar! I want to dump from sugar so I will not want it. I have so many mixed feelings about my surgery right now that it is crazy.

1) I thought my pouch would be smaller, but I can eat about 4 oz or more at a time at only 4 weeks out
2) I obvisouly will be able to handle sweets and thought I would not be able to
3) I thought I would lose weight faster than I have, I have lost 24 pounds in a month, and that is really awesome...but you know patience is a virture that I don't have yet!! And in addition to the 24, I lost 5 lbs between Dec 14 (initial consult with my surgeon) and then 4 more lbs the day before surgery by having the bowel prep (I really was full of Sh*t) Lol  So my grand total now is 33 lbs....and I cant remember the last time (if ever) I have lost 33 lbs and know that they are gone forever!!   So after that last line was typed...I feel much better!!
 

Well, I have had a good eating day so far.  And I had a great work out!!

Breakfast- string cheese
Lunch- low fat vanilla yogurt (4 oz)
Dinner - 1 serving of low fat deli sliced smoked turkey
At least 64 oz of water
Protein drink with 40 grams of protein....drinking in two part so that I can get the full benefit of the protein
and if I can, I plan to have a protein shake before I go to bed to get in 23 more grams...that will put me over 80 grams of protein for thd day.  

Working out I was on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes and 10 minutes on the stationary bike and did some weights with my arms too.  So now I am home and about to run out and take my friends kids home and my daughter to the store.  TTYL

Well, I started my day off wrong I guess...left home with out having breakfast.  Went to take my daughter to her meeting and when I got there....we realized the meeting was not until next Saturday.  She told me this but I looked on the calendar and just knew today was Feb 24!! Oh well, came back to the house my my papers together and went to get my taxes done. Two hours later....I decide I was not really impressed and told them I would submit them from home.  Got my self and extra $150!! Not much but I will take it!  When I got back home I had some refried beans and cheese and that was fine.  About 2 hours later I tried to mix up my first protein shake...protein powder, ice and a peach smoothie yogurt thingy...not too bad but I put to much ice in it.  Two hours later....I feel like I am starving!! So I ate me a piece of smoke sausage, a half a cheese stick (maybe 3/4) and then a few spoons of chicken and veggie soup before I felt satisfied.  WTH?  I am so not happy that I feel like I can eat just as much as I used too and I actually did feel hungry.  I don't think it was head hunger at all.  And this is just two weeks after surgery.....I am beginning to think this thing is not going to work the way I had hoped.  I mean...yes I have this tool to help the portion size part of my diet but what about the mental part that I still want to eat and eat the wrong types of foods.  How I am going to change my eating habits when this is still me?  My thoughts were not changed by the surgery nor were my habits.  Well, I am going to see a therapist to discuss this and hopefully that will help but I feel so awful about they way I am able to eat and the kinds of things I eat and want to eat.  I am sooo craving some buttered pop corn from the movies!!!  Anyway....see ya later

So, I was really excited that I could eat foods out of the blender and felt a little more normal.  Some of the things I have had today I did not blend because it was pretty tender and easy to chew.  MY friend had given me some pulled pork with the sauce and she gave me some.  I told my mother that I had real food today and that I was eating bbq...and that I had chicken salad for lunch today and she was like oh..so you are about to gain all your weight back aren't you?  WTF Is that?  That really upset me but what can you do?  That's all for now!!

Interesting comment that was made to me yesterday...this friend that I work and I are always talking about working out and losing weight...so we were talking about this again two days ago and she made the comment that she noticed on my first day back to work after the surgery that she did not see any junk food or candy wrappers in my garbage can that day...she only saw my protein drink container...You know I cant really imagine what she must have thought each day when she cleaned up the office and emptied my trash....she was sure to get a basket full of candy wrappers and gum paper and things like that...and it must have been pretty regular for her to make that comment.  And I do know that snacking was one of my biggest problems...but I did not realize it was so out of control during work that my friend had noticed how excessive it was and would comment now that she is not going to see it.  I wonder if it would have made a difference if she had mentioned it before....probably for a few days and then I would have just put it in someone else's trash or something dumb like that. 

Well the weight loss has stopped for the first time too.  I have not lost any since Monday but I am still following the doctor's orders and trying to get my water and protien intake to the levels they should be and working out as well.  So far the journey has not been bad at all.  I have noticed a few twinges in my stomach after I eat food...like today I had chiken salad from the cafe at work and I ahve a few sharp pains in my stomach and sides.  I don't think its a big deal but if it is not gone before 3 pm, I am going to call the doctor's office.  TTYL

I had been having really bad coughing fits for several months before the surgery and all this coughing was leading to urinary incontinence and that was awful!  I don't know what has happened but since the surgery..I have only coughed a few times and it was not bad at all and guess what? No U.I.!!!! I was diagnosed with Asthma some time last fall and had been taking zyrtec pills and had an inhaler to use.  The last time I used the inhaler was right before the surgery.  I am still taking my zyrtec but I am on the liquid form right now...I wonder if that is what is making such a big difference????? Ok...this is my last post for today...I think!! lol

Wow! I can hardly believe that today is my daughter's 16th birthday!  She had a Mardi Gras themed party yesterday and it turned out really nice.  My friends Stacy A., Dee, Shun, and Sharon helped so much in the final execution! Stacy ran around me with all day yesterday doing last minute stufff, Dee did the souveniors for me...filling Mardi Gras cups full of goodies and beads AND writing Sierra's sweet 16 on 40 cups for me.  She and Shun also came over to the hotel and set up all the decorations and got the food set out.  Shun is has her own business of setting up parties and the room was turned out so nice, alot nicer than it would if I had to put the decorations up myself!! lol They all pitched in and helped me out because I they know I am so not creative and they knew that I had just had surgery!! I ran Sharon and Stacy to death too..Stacy took my daugher shopping for the perfect outfit and I know we got on her nerves but she hung in there.  She also was the one at the door greeting the guests and giving out the Mardi Gras beads...we brought the beads back from New Orleans the year Katrina hit.  My other Friend Khadjia came thru at the last minute and took my daughter to put on the finishing touches to her outfit yesterday and Sierra was pleased.  She had about 40 of her friends show up and of course at 16, the boys were still on one side of the room and the girls were on the other...that is until the lights were dimmed! lol Then they all stood in the middle of the floor dancing around and acting silly.  Why is that kids don't eat at parties? They did not want to eat until I said the party was over!! In 15, the murdered the food!! They did drink lots of punch all through the party but the food and cake they saved until the end.  lol  Well, Happy Sweet Sixteen Sierra!! She just left to go to Church with my mom, so I have to get up and get her gifts wrapped and set out.  She does not think that I got her anything other than a party.  She did not get a car but I am sure she will be pleased with her gift!  TTFN!