My Mind... My Body... Never felt like this before.

Jan 09, 2009

I feel the need to write about how things feel and thoughts I'm having.

I'll first start with my mind because it was the first.
I noticed commercials first. I would see a "Chips Ahoy"commercial and think, they shouldn't be allowed to show that stuff on TV. The nation is becoming health wise and yet this stuff is still on the TVs pushing carbs. It's like pushing drugs, it's all bad for us.

Then I realized what I was thinking. I thought to myself. "I'm worse than a reformed smoker". Eight months ago if I saw that same commercial I would have gotten up and went into the kitchen and if the chips ahoy weren't there I would have made sure they were on my shopping list. Now that I've lost almost 70 lbs. when I see someone as big as I was I wonder why they haven't considered or already have had WLS. What they heck am I thinking!!! This aggravates me that I think this way, but I guess I just want everyone to experience and be as happy as I am about my weight loss. I also notice when I go to be with a group that I have been with before. Be it work meeting, club meeting etc. I see myself comparing my weight with the other women, at least the ones close to my height. I was at a meeting the other day and thought to my self that I use to be one of the heaviest and now I'm almost the smallest. I guess this is normal, but I feel guilty having these thoughts.

On to my body.
I lay in bed at night feeling parts of my body that for the most part I have never felt before. I have shoulder bones, I have collar bones. I can even feel my pelvic bone. At first I felt weird but as soon as the Dr. cleared me for "activities" I noticed my DH feeling those same things. Now we talk about it and laugh. He tries to be careful and not say the wrong things. He is not always good with words. Trying to show appreciation for my new body he is careful not to show that there was any problem before. He never showed or acted like there was but he did say something last night about it was like heaving a new girlfriend, after a bit of discussion he settled for new wife or lover. ( I guess it was the question about was there an old girlfriend).

Anyways, I'm having a great time and my lightweight sisters are all right. This is a wild ride.

1 Comment