TechnologyEducator_MS

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I'm down about 68-69 pounds now, weighing in at 339.6 lbs. tonight.  I want to report that I'm finally feeling some of the energy I had hoped for.  (Technically, not so much this weekend because I've been sick...but still...recently.)  I am now taking the Cymbalta every other night.  It still makes me sick, but having it at least every other night is helping some with the terrible fibromyalgia/arthritic pain.  I'm still hopeful those problems will resolve themselves more and more as I lose more weight.

There was a state fair earlier this month.  My husband, infant son, and I all went.  We just walked around and basically watched everything. I have made it one of my goals that I will eventually be able to ride the rides comfortably with my son when he gets to the proper age.

I have my listed goal weight at 190 lbs.  However, I am doubtful that I will reach that goal (trying to be realistic).  I will be happy though as long as my quality of life has improved.

It's been about 3 and 1/2 weeks since my rou en y surgery.  I've lost about 21 pounds since the surgery (which makes 31 if you include the 10 lbs I lost on the pre-surgery diet). The weight is appearing to come off my top-area first, meaning shoulders, breasts, etc. I weigh myself every day and sometimes twice a day.  I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not, but for now, it works for me.  I don't get upset if my weight goes up a pound because I know there are many factors to it all. 

The first two weeks after my surgery were an emotional roller coaster.  I had not realized just how much I "ate" my feelings.  My husband got on my nerves soooo badly (poor guy!).  And it wasn't just him.  EVERYTHING got on my nerves.  Things are getting SOME better now though because I am trying to make a conscious effort to deal with my feelings.  That's not so easy.  At least, it's not as easy as it was before.  Life was much simpler, and I felt like a much sweeter person, when I could just smile and repress all my feelings.  I worried about others more than myself.  Now, I have to think about myself...both physically and mentally...above those around me, and it feels selfish.  However, if I were giving someone else advice about this, I would help them realize that if they can take care of themselves first--physically AND mentally--then they will be in a much better position to help others.  So, I NEED to make myself understand and accept my own advice!!!  I'm getting there.  It's a process, a journey.

As far as my eating habits go... that has gotten a bit easier as well.  I still struggle some days with getting in enough liquid.  Chocolate CVS Whey Protein has been my main source of protein.  I've been trying to make good choices when I eat, like eating my protein first, but I admit that doesnt always go as planned either.  Some days I keep to a liquid diet without even realizing it, and other days I incorporate solids just as easily.  I've only gotten sick a couple times.  One was when I tried to eat oatmeal for breakfast.  I stayed nauseated for about an hour.  Another was just last night when I took a big gulp (mistake!) of milk.  I vomitted the milk and was fine afterwards.  Sugar-free popsicles have been a life-saver for me.  They take care of both my sweet and crunchy wants.    Greek yogurt has been a huge help to me as well.  It is something I can grab easily AND it fills me up.  So far I have eaten Oikos brand greek yogurt, the blueberry kind and the caramel kind, and have loved it.  Today we bought a box of Chibani kids greek yogurt at Samsclub.  Since it's geared towards kids, it comes in smaller portions and more "fun" flavors.  I can't wait to try it out!

I have to get off the computer now because my husband and I are going to try to do some rearranging to stop our little rug-rat from getting to the computer tower and computer cords and plugs in our living room.  He is one curious little guy!

My thoughts are that no matter what you do, you cannot really prepare for this surgery.  I thought the physical part of the surgery itself was going to be the worst.  However, for me, that is not the case.  Yes, it hurt, but I'm healing well as far as I know.  What is sticking with me though is what I hate the most:  CRABBINESS.  I want to be my sweet old self.  The understanding wife, mother, daughter, sister, and teacher.  I DONT want other people to irritate me so much.  It's the small things too.  Things I shouldnt let bother me.  But they get under my skin.  And I want to SMILE.  I miss smiling all the time.  Instead, I find myself having to remind me to smile.  And it feels fake.  I definitely was NOT prepared for the change in my personality that I pray to God is only temporary.

Well I'm six days Post-op, and I'm about to head out the door for an orientation meeting for my new job.  Thankfully my family, who lives about 2 and 1/2 hours away, is still caring for my baby; so I can look forward to resting once I get home in the afternoons this week.

I think I finally found a protein drink that I can get down (most are yuck) and that doesn't give me too much gas on my stomach.  It's the CVS brand vanilla protein.

I'm still not feeling myself emotionally yet.  I wasn't prepared to feel like biting everyone's head off after surgery.  I pray this gets a LOT better before I get any students on Monday.  They already have issues of their own and don't need a cranky teacher to boot.

I'm going to call the bariatric center's office today to ask about my menstruation issues.  I had my period just the week before surgery, and then I got it again this Thursday night, except much worse. 

I want to end on a positive note, so I'm going to write what I'm thankful for.  I'm thankful that I came through the surgery safely.  I'm thankful for a husband who has been good to me.  I'm thankful for my baby boy.  I'm thankful for my mother, who has been good to me through the surgery as well.