Not prepared

Aug 02, 2011

My thoughts are that no matter what you do, you cannot really prepare for this surgery.  I thought the physical part of the surgery itself was going to be the worst.  However, for me, that is not the case.  Yes, it hurt, but I'm healing well as far as I know.  What is sticking with me though is what I hate the most:  CRABBINESS.  I want to be my sweet old self.  The understanding wife, mother, daughter, sister, and teacher.  I DONT want other people to irritate me so much.  It's the small things too.  Things I shouldnt let bother me.  But they get under my skin.  And I want to SMILE.  I miss smiling all the time.  Instead, I find myself having to remind me to smile.  And it feels fake.  I definitely was NOT prepared for the change in my personality that I pray to God is only temporary.

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