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Praise the Lord, I MADE IT!!!!!!!
Hey guys and gals,  today is November 3, 2008 and 1 week ago today I had my RNY.  So let me just update you about this crucial step in the journey to thin, healthy, and longevity of life!

I had to be at NC Baptist Hospital by 6am and they called me back around 6:30am.  Was I nervous?  No.  Was I anxious?  No.  Was I afraid?  No.  I was surprisingly calm.    My last post was that I wanted my momma and my momma came up so I had both my folks here with me.   The anesthesia assistant came in and started my IV.  Unfortunately she was unable to locate a vein in either hand (the normal place for IV).  Fortunately, she was very skilled at what she was doing and although she had to place it in the fold of the arm (where you normally give blood from), it didn't hurt at all.  She said once I was under they would try to find a better position.  (Let me just interject here, they didn't find a better spot, as a matter of fact, I woke up with 2 IV areas, one in each arm, the fold of each arm...no problems with those though).  The lead anesthesiologist came in and asked if there was anything he could do for me.  My reply - Make sure I'm good and out, I don't want any unconscious awareness, but then make sure I wake up when I'm supposed to!  He said most people tell him to make sure they're out, but very few talk about waking up.  Shoot.... I love the Lord but I've got somethings left to do down here!  Anyway the assistant gave me a dose of "I don't give a d*&n" and  wheeled me into the operation room shortly after 7am.  Now as a Center of Excellence I have noticed the Baptist Hospital is very BGF (Big Girl Friendly)  The only time they failed in that respect is the bed I was laying on in the preop area.  If I turned 1/2 inch to either side, I knew I was going to have to go to orthopedic surgery instead after I hit the floor!  So me being me, I asked them in the operating room "Where is the Big Girl Bed?"  When they replied I was on it, I busted out laughing and told them they were "trippin".  Of course they got a good laugh out of that and put an oxygen mask on me.  They advised me to take some good deep breaths and the next thing I know they're waking me up talking 'bout, "Tammy, you're in recovery!!!"  What?!?! Ya'll just wheeled me back here!  That was the deepest, dreamless sleep I've ever experienced in my life.  A sleep so deep that you don't know you're asleep!  How freaky is that! 
They tell you after surgery, you're mouth will be dry.  That does NOT begin to describe the level of dryness that you may experience.  I was afraid to lick my lips.  Let me back up, I can't really call it licking because there was no moisture ANYWHERE in my entire mouth or throat.  Hence the reason for my fear, I thought if I rub my tongue against my lips, these billies are going to catch on FIRE!!!!  There is oxygen in the room, I am not trying to set it off in the recovery room.  As I'm laying there trying to hold my 200lb eyelids open, I thinking "What the?!?!  What is this in my right nostril?"  It is irritating me and using my cracking voice I finally get someone to address it.  Well I should say, RIP IT OUT!!!! There was no gingerly pulling.  Screw that it hurts less if you get it over with quickly.  I've never been a believer of that school of thought.  Well after my nasal cavity was assaulted, I found myself in my assigned room.  Don't remember the ride.  Just nasal rip then, Ms. Joyner you're in your room.  They hooked up my oxygen and I became aware of an intense amount of pain in my upper abdomen.  Just constant, rolling, PAIN.  I recognized it as trapped gas.  Now preops, remember they fill you abdomen with CO2 so they can have a field to work in.  Well with all the wonders of modern science, they put it in but they don't take it out and when they close you up that beast is trapped!  But like any other caged animal, it doesn't want to be trapped and it lets you know!   Everyone knows its good to get up out of bed the same day as surgery.  I was out of bed about 3hrs after getting into my room.  I was trying to walk that gas.  It wouldn't come out as a burp or anal air (thought that would be more PC than "fart". HaHaHa!)
Let me try to shorten up this week.  My dad said he was going to call me the Gas Whisperer because I talked to that gas for the 1st  two days post surgery.  I literally talked to it "Come on out of there, you've got to come out of there!"  Morphine is good for the actual discomfort from surgery (which btw was minimal for me) but it does nothing for the gas pains.  Finally, they switched up and gave me something that started with an L... It is like liquid sugar medicine.  It's very sweet but it seemed to help with the gas pain (or it could have been all the gas whispering I was doing!).  They also gave me Tramadol (sp?).   That was the magic cocktail!  On the day of surgery I did about 3.5 laps around the floor.  I was not playing!!!!  Ice chips.  Thank you sweet Jesus for ice chips!  I was allowed to have a few every couple of hours on the evening of surgery!  I have never worked an ice chip so hard in my entire life!.  Oh, Oh, OH!!!!!  PreOps.....They may tell you that it isn't uncommon for women to have their cycle while in the hospital or shortly after surgery.  They are not lying.  I have fibroids and haven't had a "normal" cycle in about a year (it was medically stopped for 9 months in '07).  Well I did what the surgeon wanted me to do before surgery which was start BCP in an effort to help regulate my cycle and avoid post surgery pregnancy.  That's easy enough.....no man, no sex, no post surgery pregnancy (not to mention that grapefruit in my uterus).  So i'd been spotting all month long.  Forget that madness.  I guess the Heparin that they "Inject subcutaneously in the OR in the 'Love Handles" didn't help matters.  FYI that quote was taken directly from my charts.  In the preop area, my file was sitting there and since it was mine, I looked!  On Monday night, the flood began.  I will spare you the gory but let's just say, my sister had clean up on Aisle 1 on Tuesday night and my mom thought I was going to have to have a transfusion (it still hasn't stopped but it is showing signs of braking!).  
I have had a relatively smooth recovery.  I was released on Wednesday afternoon and came home.....WAIT!!!!! I forgot something very important!  The JP Drainage Tube Removal!  That thing had to have been wrapped around my entire abdominal area!!!!  I asked a few people what it felt like, Oh it just feels weird, it doesn't hurt.  LIARS!!!!! Every last one of them!  That was the nastiest thing in the world (at least to this point).  There was discomfort in the removal process in addition to the weirdness!  But I survived!  I came home and was hit with an odor the likes of which I could not identify.  My dad, God love him is a great cook and in preparation of my arrival, he'd fixed a pot of homemade veggie beef soup so that I could partake in the broth.  The smell normally would have been wonderful but not so much on that day.  Matter of fact, I'm still having smell issues.  In addition to being the Gas Whisperer, Dad is also going to take me hunting b/c apparently my new sniffer is pretty keen.  I've had to retreat to my bedroom and close the door with the ceiling fan on at least once and right now I'm not allowed to open the fridge because I want to throw away good food just because of the smells.  Yep, Got the Baking Soda going.....not helping!  I hear this doesn't last forever.  I pray not!
My biggest issues - getting in enough liquids during the liquid diet, crushing meds and opening capsules to eat the contents on applesauce (not good)!
This evening I advanced to the pureed stage (with my nutritionists approval) and had 1 tbsp of Chicken Salad.  Yes!!!! No problems!!!!  I even laid on my side for the first time in a week!  Having help around the house is key!  I get tuckered quicker than before....My 1st two attempts at a shower at home resulted in cold sweats and nausea so up until today it's been a bath in a bucket, so to speak.  ......But I was successful today in a cool, tepid full shower!  Whoo-hoo!  I learned very quickly that vanilla protein powder before surgery is not that same after.  After a few sips, I immediately felt nauseous and made it my goal to get some unflavored ASAP.  Now let me warn you, unflavored or natural flavored, still has some flavor, but nothing like the vanilla.  It also changes the color of your liquid of choice. 
I know this is a lot of text to read but like I said in the beginning, its the good, the bad and the You've got to be kidding me!!!  My weight on the Thursday before surgery was 344.  My weight the Thursday after sugery was 331.  My weight today was 325. 

The tool works, if you work the tool!
 

Ok.  I'm 37 years old.  I have my own home.  My bills are in my name.  So for all intents and purposes, I'm what you would call...."Grown", right???  Yep, that's what I thought.  I've been strong, self-reliant throughout this whole process.  Keeping a stiff upper lip, trying to encourage other people and keep them thinking positively.  Well Friday, I had a moment!  A "Oh my gosh, what the heck I am getting ready to do moment!!!"  A "I WANT MY MOMMA"  moment!  Well my dad was already going to come up and stay with me, and my mom was going to come up after the election (She was working the election polls and we'd already agreed that she would come up after).   Well I called and yelled, "I want my MOMMA!!!!"  So guess whose coming to my liquid dinner>>  my daddy & my momma!  Now my mom doesn't do well with sickly people or wounds so its not for her nursing ability....it's just one of those things, I'm the baby of the family and I want my MOMMA!!!!   

I've been more nervous than excited.  I have periods of, wow this is really happening- my life is about to change for the better, forever!  But then I get nervous.  I've never had any type of major medical procedure.  I didn't have stitches for the first time until I was about 30 or 31 (Fell down the steps at work......another story, another time).  I've never stayed overnight in the hospital ( my hospital visits have been limited to ER visits during childhood)  I've been blessed but that also means I have this whole "fear of the unknown" thing going on.    I know I'll be fine.  I've put my trust in the Lord and I know He's got this all in control, but last I checked, I am human and subject to all of our feelings and emotions.  As I type this entry, it is 10:37am est.  In 24hours I should be in a recovery room.  Wow.  I can't wait to "Live"!  The way I look at this, 40 should be fabulous!  I'm glad 40 is the new 30.  18-24 months to lose the excess weight (I'm giving it awhile because I've got a lot of excess - if I lose 85% of my excess then my final weight would be 164lbs)  That would put me at 39.  Then comes the plastics to remove the excess skin and streamline my new body so that puts me at 40 once everything is done!  Now if all this happens before then,great.  But I do believe in setting realisting goals!
I had the opportunity to have a last celebration meal.... know what i ate?  Chicken wings from the chinese restaurant!  Not a big ole honking steak with a potato and a salad and dessert..  The thought of all of that made me sick to the stomach!  I figured it out, that's why they allow you to have a celebration meal.  They know if you've been doing the pre-op diet, you won't be able to HOLD a celebration meal!  Those wings just about did me in.....my tummy did not like the fried !!!
Alright babies!  Here are my final pre-surgery words.....For those of you who are still in varying stages of this process:  Don't give up!  If you're denied, get those appeals sent in!  And then another and then another!  Don't let anyone stand in your way of a longer, healthier life!  Stay encouraged - discouraging moments will come but remember, sometimes you have to encourage yourself!  For those of you who've been through the process:  Remember Rome wasn't built in a day and you didn't gain those extra 50, 60, 80, 100+ lbs overnight so they're not going to fall off in a day.  I can't stress this enough - we've all heard it but sometimes we forget.....WLS is just a TOOL!!!  We have to do our part!  Eat right, exercise, don't try to find out what 'bad' foods we can tolerate!  There are enough examples of WLS failures.......Let's strive to be a success!
Love you all! Hey Losers Bench....I told you to scoot over I was coming, now MOVE IT!!!  I hope the bench doesn't have splinters it it!  You may want to stand up and move down instead of scooting.... Ouch!
                                                                         

It's been a long, sometimes arduous journey but I am inching closer and closer!  The past 2 weeks have been a roller coaster!  Week 1 of the pre-surgery diet I was in Illinois and it wasn't as difficult as I'd anticipated.  There were a couple of days that all I ate was dinner, I'd have breakfast (oatmeal) and nothing until dinnertime.  Then come the weekend and a whole myriad of situations.   I was filled with an almost unsatiable, painful hunger all of the time!  I thought it was because I was more relaxed so my mind was on it more than the week prior.  I was dizzy, light headed, with extreme shifts in body temp.  I went to Primecare Tuesday night with a fever of 103.2 and was diagnosed with a slight urinary tract infection!  Was given a 7 day round of antibiotics.  Kept feeling bad, feeling like was full, but it was an uncomfortable full.  Realized I was full of air - not the kind that comes out the back door but the front door kind.  It was high in my abdomen and uncomfortable.  After finally figuring out what it was and getting relief (around Thursday) I began to perk up and feel like myself!  Thank the Good Lord I didn't have any issues this weekend and with the exception of a headache from not using my cpap all night long, I feel pretty darn good!  I almost want to go into a bubble for the rest of the week to avoid any potential infectious diseases!  I can't believe it's almost here!  People that know have been asking me if I'm getting excited.  I can't really say that I am!  When I am in the operating room, I'll get excited!  When I'm done and I wake up on this side of life I'll be estatic!
Pray for each other while we're on this journey! 

Whew,

Someone breathe a great big sigh of relief with me!!! I am still on track for surgery on 10/27.  Skipping all the details, that is the bottom line and that's all I care about!

Well you know what that means.......I am officially 3 weeks out......Lovely pre-surgery diet.  Today I've had a pack of oatmeal, a protein powder shake (w/FF milk I might add), a banana and a yogurt....You'd think I would be starving but thankfully I am not.  With the nutritionists knowledge, (not her full blessing) I tested the waters on this diet a couple of times and am so glad I did.  I think it will make it a little easier on me these next few weeks.  It looks like one of my 2 traveling assignments is going to get cancelled which will make this 3 week dietary change a little easier....Trying to eat in such a restricted manner while in a hotel room is tough :)

I was bad this weekend.  I went to the Dixie Classic Fair opening night and realized, this would be my last time attending the fair as an morbidly obese person!  I might even be able to ride with my nieces, if i can muster up the courage :) .  Anyway, with that realization coupled with the fact that I knew I was going to start my 3wk restriction today, I ate what I wanted to eat this weekend!  I was pleased to know that I didn't do as much damage as I normally would have.  Was I bad, oh yes!!! but 1 deep fried oreo compared to the 4-5 I ate the last time I was at the fair....I've come a long way baby!

Till next time.....

Ok I've planned this life-event as best I can!  I know that things don't always go according to OUR plans but in my situation, it would be so bad to hit any speed bumps....

BAM.....SPEEDBUMP!

I was originally scheduled to have all of my preop testing done on Oct.23rd.  Perfect, I had not upcoming assignments so took the whole week of for some pre-surgery relaxing!

Got a letter last week stating that they needed to reschedule my preop appts to Oct. 16th.  Not Good!  I have an out of town training assignment scheduled for that week.  It's currently tentative so as I type this, I don't know if it will be confirmed or not.  I called the scheduling office and every clinic day that I'm in town & available, Fuzz is out of town.  Every clinic day that Fuzz is available and in town - I'm scheduled to be out of town!  I know no one wants to have their surgery date postponed but I really don't want to have to tell my boss that I need to change the accommodations that they've already made on my behalf!  In thinking about it, it wouldn't be that bad because that means someone who was scheduled to be out of town, may get a break from the road.  It would be worse if I needed them to reschedule one of my assignments.  I guess in that respect it was smart to go ahead and tell them to take me off the work calendar from 10/20 throught the end of the year.  I don't know what's going to happen!

We'll see what happens tomorrow and Tuesday, that's when I'm going to ask about my tentative assignment on 10/16.  If that gets cancelled then all is well and we are still on track!!!

Stay tuned!

I am now 2months away from the day that is going to change my life. In two months at this time I'll be recovering in the hospital! I called baptist to inquire about the ultrasound and was told that I didn't have to have one! I'm assuming that's a good thing! I'm going to the nutrition class on october 1st. That's all for now gang!

Now that I have a date for surgery, I have appointments for my labwork, final appointment with Fuzz and anesthesia consult.  The one thing I don't have is a date for an ultrasound which one of my post-op friends says I should have been given.   Guess its time to make a call!  I must say the the personnel at Baptist and the personnel with Aetna have been absolutely fantastic!  They've been patient with me, every question i've had has been answered to my satisfaction.  Even when I ask it everytime I call.  Example- each time I called Aetna with a WLS related question I would have them confirm that Fuzz and Baptist were in-network, what my maximum out of pocket benefits were, etc.  I know I had a different CSR each time I called but I'm sure they make notes about each call they receive so I can only imagine what my call file looks like! 
Last week I had my first moment of "Am I really going to do this?  Is this really my only option to a healthier, smaller me?"  The answer to both questions was a resounding "YES".  Did it make me sad that I have to take this drastic of a measure to get to where I need to be?  Of course it did.  I hate that I wasn't able to get control of this on my own but I am so thankful that this option is available to me and that this time, I'm taking it.  I also get mad at myself for waiting so long!  This could have happened for me years ago but I have to believe that all things come in the timing of God.  I also know that sometimes we miss out on the timing and in His mercy, He affords us another opportunity........So either way you look at it, it's all in His timing.  I get scared when I think about "after".......how much pain am I going to be in......possibility of complications........reintroducing food......eating while I'm traveling.....  I didn't say I was worried...I said I get scared which I think is healthy.  If I was going into this with no reservations, then I'd have to be crazy!  If I'm anything, it's a realist....I'm an optimist but I'm also a realist.  I don't have my head in the clouds thinking this is going to be a walk in the park!  I know that I have my families support but i also know that my family has their own lives to live.  My mother and father will be coming in from out of town to stay for a while...their both retired but I don't expect them to leave their home for 8 weeks.  My sister lives next door but she has 2 jobs, 2 school aged kids, 2 dogs, and a man that she's married to thats taking up space!  She's got more than a plate full right now.  Do I want to stay in the hosptial by myself at night....of course not but I will b/c I don't want to burden her even though she already said she'd do it.  My dad had major back surgery (his spine is held together with pins and rods) so I can't have him sleeping in an uncomfortable chair. Mama?  not hardly...she's like me, she doesn't do the hospital thing well.  :)  It will all work out....Here is where a man of my own would sure come in handy!  Well enough rambling for one day. Let me call Baptist and see what's up with the ultrasound appt.! 

Have a great one and remember to speak your mind, even if your voice shakes!

Well it's been a long time since Jan.1 of this year which is when Gastric Bypass was added to my insurance coverage!  I've gone thru sleep studies, 3 month multi-disciplinary regimes and a lot of emotional ups and downs but I am happy to report that I HAVE BEEN APPROVED!!!! Let me play catch up a little bit:
After completing my 3-mo regime my supervisor and I were talking and she mentioned how busy our schedules were going to be so I had to go ahead and tell her that i would possibly need to be out for several weeks....she mentioned the best time, work wise would be OCTOBER!!!!!  Imagine my dismay hearing this in June/July!  Well I came to grips with it and found the positive in it!  When I talked with Susan (before she left) she said that wouldn't be a problem and they could just hold my paperwork and submit it at the end of August.  Well after a few weeks, I decided i'd much rather go ahead and know that i was approved even if I had to wait a few weeks!  Long story short, I got Michelle to go ahead and submit my paperwork the week of August 4th.  I called my insurance company Monday, August 11th to make sure they'd received it and they advised it would take about 4 days and I should here sometehing by Thursday.  On Tuesday, August 12th I received a call from Michelle stating that I had been approved!!!!!  Surgery is scheduled for October 27th!!!   I am so happy I don't know what to do!   I am a little concerned about the 3 week liquid diet simply because originally i didn't have any travel assignements after September so that was going to work out perfectly......Oh how things change!  I will be in Illinois for week 1 and Indiana for week 2!  Somebody pray!!!  :)  I am so close now I can almost feel the anesthesia kicking in!

Wow,  I haven't posted since April!  Shame on me....to catch u up, I did receive my CPAP machine and have had some adjustment issues. Now remember, I travel for a living.  While I'm on the road, i do well with (last night being an exception...I'll explain later).  But the routine has been that when I get home and am in my own bed, I seem to wake up during the night and do one of the following:  a. Take the mask off but leave the blower on, b. Leave the mask on but turn the blower off (I usually wake up pretty quickly when I realize I am breathing hot air!), or c. Mask off, blower off.  I have even gone so far as to sit up and hang the mask neatly on the corner of the headboard....Now let me make sure you understand.  I am not unconsciously doing this. I am pretty awake but i can't seem to stop myself until the deed is done.  Go figure!  Now I said I usually do well while on the road but last night was the exception, I woke up with some tummy troubles, and when I went back to bed, I forgot to put the mask on.  

Since I last made an entry, I've completed my 3month regime as required by insurance.  My second visit sucked because, although I'd been working hard, I lost no pounds, according to Fuzz's scales even though my home scales did show a loss of 4 pounds.  Due to my travel schedule I only had about 18 days between my 2nd visit and my last visit so I was sweating bullets!  I was torn between giving up and pressing on.  Well when I went to the visit, I'd lost 10 pounds since the 2nd visit!  Whoo-Hoo!!! I was estatic.  Now I'm waiting - patiently, or as patiently as I can to hear from his office.  I'm hoping that all the paperwork has been submitted.  My visit was on June 5th.  I went to Disney World last week, on business, and only gained 3 pounds.  While it's a gain, I know that I was careful in my food choices (some were bad, yes they were, but not as bad as they could've been). I also know I didn't get in my water like I should have.... kind of reverted back to my old habits and exercise wasn't much except for walking around the convention center.....which was quite an expansive area.  So here I am in Georgia for two weeks, being careful, trying to get in some exercise but their facility sucks.  I called an area fitness center to see about a free pass and he told me I could print one from their website....You never know what you can get unless you ask!  I am so ready to be on the other side of surgery.  This has been such a long and mentally stressful journey.  I know in the end it will all be worth it,  it's just getting to the end result that sucks!  I can tell a difference, unfortunately is in my boobie area!  I am losing the twins!  My zip-up sports bra is usually kinda of snug....not today when I put that bad boy on!  Oh no!  I'm going to need a crane to hoist these puppies up after a while!  Well this isn't as long as I thought it was going to be!  I'll be back soon!

This week has been CRAZY!!!!! There was all kinds of unnecessary drama on the job- not a good thing for an emotional eater who was starting her 1200 calorie plan. Monday and tuesday weren't so bad - I meticulously counted everything that went into my mouth. Wednesday through today (saturday), I counted bfast and lunch well but not dinner, although I was mindful of my food choices. Now what I really wanted to tell you guys about- part two of the sleep study.  I went in - with a positive attitude and quite tired from my harrowing day at work.  I also went in with MY Pillows....There was no way I was fighting those loud behind hospital pillows. I arrived at 8:50 and immediately turned on the TV in the lobby - trying to catch as much as I can.  Bob, my technician from the evening brings me my paperwork and then comes to take me bact at 9pm.  He puts me in the room with a hospital bed and says this room is better when trying to use the CPAP because the bed rolls out if they have to get behind you.  I sit on the bed and Hallelujah!!! I don't sink straight to hell!  I'm thinking "This is going to be alright".  Well I have to watch a video about PAP therapy and then I wait for Bob to come back and check on me.....and I wait for Bob to come back and check on me......and I wait for Bob to come back and check on me.   Finally I get up and open the door to my room, thinking from last week that was the clue to the tech that I had changed clothes and was ready.  I open it and wait for Bob to come back and check on me.....I open it and wait for Bob to come back and check on me......I open it and wait for Bob to come back and check on me.  (Mind you the video was only about 15 minutes).  Finally he comes to see if I had any questions, which I did - had them puppies written down!  Then he says I'll be back to get you in a second.... Well he finally comes back about 10 or a little thereafter and begins to connect me.  There was a chatty ken sitting beside me talking the ears off of his tech, my tech, me, and everyone in the North tower of Baptist.  I have NEVER had a man talk so much about anything and everything.  From his cats to "How long do you think I've had sleep apnea.....was I born with it?"  Bob and I were cracking up because he was talking so much.  Then he was done and it was time for him to go to his room......When he walked by, I was shocked!!!! it was a woman!  I have never heard a woman with that deep of a voice but anyway.  I finally get all hooked up and head back to the room.  Bob is trying to make sure all the electrodes are registering, which they are not so he's back and forth making adjustments.  I am falling asleep during the brief periods that he's gone to the monitors and I'm thinking, 'Dude, you are wasting prime sleep monitoring time"!  Well he finally gets all pistons firing and it's time to put on the mask.  It fits just over my nose and I immediately don't like it!  I don't feel like I'm getting enough air. Bob adjusts the pressure and it's a little better.  For those of you who may have to go through this, Note:  If you have just the nasal mask, you can not talk with it on.....the air going in and out of your mouth fights against the constant air going up your nose and it's like you're choking!  Well I lay down and because I'm so tired, I go on to sleep!  Miracle of miracles!!!! But alas it lasts long but not all night.  I wake up and am very, very aware of each breath I'm taking because the machine makes a different sound on each exhale and inhale.  To me it doesn't sound like my breaths are deep enough so I begin to breathe deeper.  Then they sound like they are to slow.....I also wonder...there is only 1 tube on this machine, what is happening to the carbon dioxide that I am exhaling....I begin to breathe faster....my heart rate is picking up and I am feeling extremely claustrophobic!  I lie there trying to calm myself down but it isn't working.  "Excuse me", I say and get no response....."Hello",  a little louder this time.  That got his attention.  Bob replies and I ask him to come in for a minute.  By the time he gets to the room, tears are streaming down my face, and when he asks, "What's wrong", I can barely get it out through the tears, "Can we just take this off for a minute?"  I was about to have a total freakout!!!!!  Well to make a long story short, we took it off for a second,  I only had a couple more hours to go so I decided to tough it out and I did fall back asleep!  Next step is to have the home health people come out and set me up with one of my very own machines!  wow.  yay.  yippee.