1 day pre op

Mar 26, 2011

Well I am getting ready to leave in about half an hour.  I am very worried as I have come down with a bit of a cold.  What if they wont do the surgery! It is a 12 hours drive, far to long just to turn around and come back.  My dreams will be crushed to boot.  I am so nervous.  What if they dont put me fully to sleep? What if I have complications?  Will my kids behave while I am gone?  I am only doing this because I am selfish, if things dont go well, my kids will suffer.  So much is going through my mind but yet it does not detour me.  I know at the end of the day this is the only answer for me.  I have tried for years, spent thousands of dollars trying to loose the weight.  Joining this program and that, this is what I must do to change my life.   I am so glad that someone else is driveing.  I only had 4 hours of sleep last night.  Did I pack everything.  I went out and bought new soap/shampoo/tooth brush/toothpaste/hairbrush/washcloth/slippers.  I am bringing my vitamins and ensure diabetic.  Hope it is tastey! 

I wonder what it will be like to be thin.  I have dreamed for many years of being able to say "its not like I am 200 pounds"  I know it sounds silly but I have not been under 200 in 15 years.  How long will it take.  Will I ever be able to eat a bite of Steak! So many questions going through my head.  One good thing about the cold, I have not smoked, I dont want to risk hurting my lungs any, I can imagine that couffing after surgery will be painful as well.  I am just not a lucky person I guess.  I hope that not all has been ruined!

Good luck to all - See you on the loosers bench! (hopefully)

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