Year One Anniversary

Apr 02, 2012

Wow how this year went by.  I still look back and think how it was yesterday that I had my surgery.  This really has made me a different person.  I have lost a whole person!  It is weird to get used to hearing, you know Jen the tiny one.  I still think are they talking about me, me!  When I look down at myself I still think of myself as fat, then I catch a look at myself in a full length mirror and give myself a reality check! I can’t wait till my brain and my looks start to match together and wonder if they ever will. 

I have also found that I used to blame a lot of things in life “this all happened because I am fat”.  I have had to take on a new accountability for life.  My life and I make it good or I am make it bad.  I make good decision or crappy ones.  People treat me how I want to be treated.  I do have to admit that now in life I tolerate much less as my confidence is much higher.  I surround myself with good people and cut the rest out.

Work has been great.  I have so much more confidence.  I can go to  networking meetings with a group of strangers and just start talking.  I no longer think “do I look fat in this” or I need to sit in a certain direction.

I don’t mind taking the bus, the seats fit me perfect, and going for full day outings are much less exhausting.   I can walk for hours and not feel pain in my feet and my back but I must admit, I am still not into the exercise thing, still lazy as far as that is concerned.  

I have found a new man in my life who loves me for me scars and all.  Now, I just need to work on moving forward and making this the life I have always wanted.  I know the only one who can do that is me.

Did I have shitty days - yes.  Was it painful - Yes.  Would I do it again - IN A HEART BEAT!

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