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It's really goten bad for me.  I find it really hard to walk now.  My legs and feet swell so badly and standing for any period longer than 1 minute causes me extreme distress.  My blood pressue is fine, diabetes - in check, but my "good" cholesterol is dangerously low.  My bad cholesterol was in a good range but now it has fallen drastically.  As far as I can tell having too low good cholesterol is just as bad as having too high bad cholesterol.  I pray for help!  I did get a promotion at work, which is a God send but much of my enthusiasm is lost to my health problems.  I don't know how long I can carry on. 

But it is so hard!  I pray that so hard, each and every day, that I will receive an "okay" for WLS!  On a brighter note - I quit smoking today.  I have to give it up.  It is not a habit I want or need to support anymore and it seems it just adds to my frustration.  I have remarked in the past that smoking helps calm my nerves, but I think I was just making another useless excuse for buying another pack.  Anyway, it is time to give it up and when I purchased 2 packs last week, Wednesday - I said when these are gone...that will be it.  And today, Sunday, I smoked the last one in the box.  It is now 1205 am, and I have not wigged completely out yet, but I'll check in with u in 72 hours.  If anyone reads these posts, please pray that things work out for me.  WLS approval and smoking!!!

Appointment with my counselor at Veteran's Voc Rehab today.  Turned in all my research, which is 3 years worth, of risks and benefits of me having surgery.  Presented this to a small panel.  They deemed me worthy of their recommendation and the ball has been placed in the court of the VAMC's physicians.  I need to be turned down by VA before Voc Rehab will pay.  They were pretty sure that I will be turned down but all the bases needed to be covered.  After turndown they say they have no problem paying for the surgery.  I am so happy but cautiously happy.  I have been confident in the past about financing only to be let down.  Prayerfully, this is the final step.  I thank God for at least having someone to seriously look into my case.