waitingpatiently
I decided in 01/2006 that I needed to do something about my weight. After losing my mother and father, I went into a very bad depression. I have always struggled with my weight. Up and Down, up and down. I cant believe that I am at my heaviest 298 at the age of 31. None of my friends are this big. I dont look right.I hate when I dont see someone for awhile and then when I bump into them, their eyes widen up and then they ask "what happened?" How do u say Life. I also take anti depressant and anti psychotic medication and the main side effect is WEIGHT GAIN. Just my luck right? I cant win. So, I submitted once to my insurance and they denied it, stating that I was missing some work up info. So, I wrote down what they said I needed and went to work again. So, we have resubmitted recently, last week, and I am now waiting for their answer. I pray for this surgery. Even right now, my edema has my lower extremities so tight that they hurt. I hate taking the lasix because it you end up in the bathroom all night. Then, I have the most horrible acid reflux. Nothing seems to make it go away. I also found out that on a second sleep study, that I suffer from severe hypoventilation/hypoxia. Once again, I just cant win. I keep my fingers crossed and pray they say YES. I want to be able to run around with my 3 yr old. Do all the chores that need to get done in one day. That I can breathe better and not worrry about going to sleep and not getting enough oxygen. I want t make love to my fiance with the lights on and not cringe when I feel him touch my side. i want to look into the mirror without crying. I want the ME that is under all this weight.
