wendy_fou

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I've been SOOO bad about not updating.  Sorry.  Really busy pretty much all the time.  That's life when you're the parent of 2 teenagers who are very active.  Etc, etc, etc.

So I'm still maintaining my weight just fine.  I used to freak out anytime I went over 130 lbs because my comfort zone was 125 - 130.  So 130.1 was time to freak out.  Well, in the last few months, I have gradually gained.  I know this is a genuine "bounce-back" or "rebound" due to my body adapting for the malabsorption part of the surgery and NOT due to me being lax with my intake.  I know this because I still journal every single think I eat/drink.  Since I'm not increasing my intake and I haven't adjusted my output/activity, it's internal (body adapting to absorb more of the calories I'm eating).  This makes sense because I am right past that 3 year mark where the body has pretty much completed it's adaptation.  Whatever you get at 3 - 3.5 years out (for RNY, more like 8 years for DS) with regards to absorption is whatever you get, you know?

I did NOT decrease my calories at all.  The gain has been very gradual over the last 6 months or so & has leveled off.  Now I stay around 128 - 133.  Since I have a thing about 5s, I have now mentally moved my panic threshold to 135.  So if I go above 135 now, I'll go into panic mode.  (If I'm honest, I'll start to panic at anything above a 134 though.) 

The LAST thing I want to do is excuse away any small gain (then excuse away the next one and the next one) - saying it's just 5 pounds, etc.  That's how a lot of us got fat to begin with, right?  BUT since I'm positive I'm not increasing my calories, I know that's not what I'm doing.  I mean, if I only eat 1650 calories a day, every day and never increase that - this gain should not happen again, you know?  But if something weird happens and it does, I'll get another Medgem test and adjust accordingly.  (I think that's what the test was called.  I don't really remember.  The one where you blow through the white metallic looking bullet thing and they tell you what you need to eat to maintain/lose/gain weight.) 

So anyway, I'm doing and feeling well weight wise.

So now to off-topic stuff.

My liver enzymes were elevated recently.  My PCP referred me to a specialist to look at my liver & the appointment isn't for a couple of months.  So of course, being my own health advocate, I started researching the devil out of elevated liver enzymes and found that people taking Lexapro should be regularly monitored for increased liver enzymes.  Who knew that?  I didn't.  Neither did my PCP apparently because he never mentioned anything about it.  It apparently is not something that happens often, but it can happen.  I found something on livestrong.com (and a few other sites) that said that anyone taking Lexapro who starts seeing an increase in liver enzymes should immediately start tapering off the Lexapro. 

So, since I have to wait until the end of April for the appointment with the specialist anyway, I decided to stop the Lexapro and get the liver enzymes retested between now & then.  What could it hurt, you know?  If they're still elevated, I'll keep the appointment with the specialist.  If not, I'll make another appointment w/ my PCP, tell him what I did to correct the problem & ask for something other than Lexapro.  (Because let's face it... me w/out Lexapro or something like it to control my anxiety is sort of like Bill Bixby when he's angry.  No one likes it.) 

I know you're never supposed to stop Lexapro cold turkey: you're supposed to slowly taper off.  Well, I'm a little more worried about liver damage than I am about side-effects of stopping cold turkey.  So I did NOT taper off and stopped cold turkey.  The only side effects I've had is the lower backaches which are actually pretty bad AND of course, markedly increased anxiety levels.  Duh....  The backaches I refuse to even take tylenol for.  Tylenol is a big no-no for the liver anyway.  In fact, if I knew how bad Tylenol was on the liver before I started all my liver enzyme research, I'd have NEVER taken a Tylenol in my life.  In fact, I don't think I'll ever take another Tylenol again.  But I can totally stand the backaches because I know they will go away.  Any amount of pain is more tolerable if you know there's an end in sight.  Besides, I don't want to take anything that could compromise my liver enzymes when I get retested.  Otherwise, I'll never know if it was the Lexapro or not, know?  As far as the increased anxiety, I'm taking a valium every once in a while.  (I had a Rx for it from when I hurt my back a while ago & the DR gave it to me to force the muslces in my back to relax because they wouldn't.)   So I'm taken 1/2 valium twice in the last couple of weeks since I stopped the Lexapro.  I don't think that'll be too hard on my liver. 

So in another couple of weeks, I'm going to go in & have my liver enzymes retested.  If they are back down to normal, I'll probably cancel my specialist appointment and just reschedule with my PCP to get on something more permanent to replace the Lexapro.  If they are NOT back down to normal, I'll keep the appointment with the specialist and still go back to my PCP to get on something other than the Lexapro.  (Since going off the Lexapro, my sex drive has returned with a vengence.  I can't give that up again.  I'm happier being sexually active and my husband is DEFINATELY happier.  LOL.)

Warning guys... female information ahead.  Warning girls... BLUNT & DETAILED female information ahead. 

Also, my period has returned.  I know, right?  I haven't had one in YEARS (not since after my endometrial ablation which permanently ends menstrual cycles for some women).  Somewhere between 70 - 80% of women DO eventually have a period again after an endometrial ablation, so it wasn't like I didn't expect to eventually have one again.  I didn't WANT to have one again, but I wasn't counting on that.  I even kept boxes of tampons I had from years ago left packed in the shelf on my utility room.  Glad I did.  It's BACK!  Although, like the 70 - 80% of women who do eventually have a period post-endometrial ablation, I appear to be in the 95 - 99% of those women whose period is MUCH lighter than a normal period.  In fact, I didn't even have to wear anything it was so light.  I had all the symptoms of a bad period - back ache, hip-joint ache and HORRIBLE stomach cramps that made my stomach rock hard to the touch.  But I didn't have a typical menstrual flow.  To be VERY BLUNT, it was like pieces of a dark brown balloon had popped inside me and the pieces of the balloon were coming out or something.  And it mostly only came out when I urinated - like I was flushing it out.  Don't worry, I definately know it wasn't blood in my urine.  This was definately a period.  I tried using one of those light-days / pre-teen tampons for extremely light flows.  I left it in for hours and it was still mostly dry when I pulled it out except for the brown tissue pieces, etc.  Oh well.  So the bitch is back.  Hey... maybe that's why I bloated up to 133 last weekend, then suddenly dropped back down to 131 today.  Who knows.  Even when I had my period in high school, my weight never fluctuated much even during my periods unless I bloated up really bad.  I did not bloat up really bad this time, just cramped bad.  We'll see how long before my next cycle - if it shows up again.

I've got to go now!  I'll try to fill y'all in more soon! 

Luv & miss u all!!!

Wen

Not much to say really.

Eating well.  Doing well.

I guess if there's anything negative to be said it's that I seem to be a little depressed lately.  My kids are both teenagers now and ACTING like it.  That's got me feeling sort of like a failure as a parent.  I can't STAND smart-mouth disrespect and won't tolerate it.  So that's got me down.  But other than that, things are great!

I've MOSTLY quit chewing gum (the type I was chewing - that Trident SF "Layers" gum - was making my teeth sensitive).  It got so bad I could barely eat/drink w/out pain constantly.  So I researched online and found that chewing sugarless gum can exacerbate sensitive teeth (just like sugared gum can).  So I figured I'd quite it for a few days and see if the teeth got better.  The sensitivity was completely gone in my teeth w/in 2 day of quitting the gum.  So now I chew a different kind of sugarless gum and I chew less of it overall.

Also, after almost 6 months of being out of PB2, my order finally came in.  Since that is where I got my fruit in (apple slices dipped in PB2 mixed w/ ground golden flax seed each morning), I'm getting in my fruit again too.  So that's good. 

WARNING: POO INFO FOLLOWS...
Since I chew less sugarless gum and started getting in my fruit breakfast again, my bowel movements have solidified again.  It has gone back to a couple of big poops a day - one about an hour after breakfast and the other about an hour after my mid-afternoon snack.  So the really soft small sugar alcohol induced bowel movements throughout the day are gone again.  Good for me.  LOL
POO INFO OVER.

Hubby is doing well.  He's outside painting the house now. 

Kids are both staying all night elsewhere and they aren't home yet. 

I have to work a couple of hours this afternoon and need to do some shopping also.  Who knows when I'll work that in, but I will.

In any event, sorry I'm not updating more.  I just do it when I feel like it.  The farther out you get, you really only come on here when you feel like you need to or are bored or something.  I don't feel guilty about that anymore because I think it's natural progression, you know? 

Yeah, that's not a typo.  I'm down to 125.6 and don't ask me how.  I've been eating my 1650 calories every day and still drinking like a fish.  Maybe this is my new post-PS weight?  I doubt it.  They lipo'd a couple of pounds of fat off, sure - but they ADDED a couple to my boobs.  So it should have evened out.  And also, I'm the exact same SIZE as I was up closer to 130.  So honestly, I have no idea what is going on.  I have been steadily losing from a post-PS weight of 130 when I was swollen.  But, I am the same SIZE as I was a couple of pounds ago.  So maybe it's just a water weight loss?  My pants feel NO different than they did a couple of pounds ago.  And I have been really sick, so maybe just fluid weight loss?  Who knows.  I'll obviously keep y'all posted.  (Although by the look of my last blog with was FEB 8, I need to do a better job of that.  I've just had no real TIME.)

In any event, I have been sick now for about 3 weeks.  It started out as a chest cold kind of thing - chest congestion and a bit of a sore throat.  I went on antibiotics for 14 days.  After that, I still didn't feel right.  So I called DR and he put me on Avelox (an antibiotic that had BETTER work since it was $60), then Clariton D and Sudafed a day or so ago when I still wasn't getting/feeling better.  I've been on that now for 5 days and have another 5 days to go.  Actually, I have gotten WORSE since on the 2nd antibiotic - but it's worse in a completely different way (like I got some other sickness entirely).  Almost as soon as I went on the Avelox, I developed a VERY runny nose (we're talking having to carry around a roll of tissue to keep snot from running out onto my face - yeah sorry gross - kind of runny nose), no sore throat, ears achey, head/sinuses EXTREMELY stopped up and stopped up and the ever present chest congestion.  So it was like I almost got well from the first thing, but then it turned into something else?  In any event, I had better get better.  If my ears aren't feeling good by Monday, DR wants me to see an ear, nose & throat specialist to maybe put tubes in my ears.  Have you ever even HEARD of that being done to a grown person?  I haven't.  But oh well. 

Update on the family?

My husband just finished painting my mom and dad's house and it looks great!  He is starting on ours next and I am super-excited.  It has been needing it (and he actually STARTED it) for about 2 years now.  So it's past time for that to be done.  He still likes his job.  They put him in charge of something though and he doesn't like that.  Thankfully, it is temporary and he will be done with it in a month or so.  I hope he goes back to what he was doing before afterwards because he liked that better.

My son is currently girlfriend-less, which is fine with me and he seems to be doing fine also.  He irritated me yesterday because he stayed after school with a girl (just a friend, but still) without ASKING/TELLING me.  I had to call him to see where he was.  I let him know as soon as he came home that that was NOT acceptable and he said he wouldn't do it again.  We'll see.  Track season has started and he is doing well.  The first meet, he did REALLY well.  The second meet he was sort of getting sick and just did okay.  The third meet he tried to run in and ending up throwing up about 5 or 6 times so the coach took him out.  He felt better that night though, so hopefully he is getting well also.  He has a real talent for running well.

My daughter just finished trying out for cheerleading this week.  The entire week was a nightmare.  She was SO absolutely TERRIFIED that she wouldn't make it - she was a nervous wreck the whole week.  So I was also a nervous wreck the whole week.  She tried out with 2 of her BFFs that were NOT already cheerleaders and neither of them made it.  So she had to console them.  But she made it again for next year, and I honestly have not been so thankful for something as that in a long time.  I would have really worried about her well-being if she hadn't have made it.  It means SO much to her.  I know a lot of parents SAY it means that much to their daughters and you think, "Oh, they'd get over it."  I don't know if my daughter would have.  As soon as she got into the truck, she started that sort of scream-crying like a mother would do if she just found out she'd lost a child or something and loudly sobbed the whole way home.  She had messed up her double-front-walkovers and was worried sick she wouldn't make it.  Thankfully, it was only about 30 minutes afterwards that we got the results.  When she got the text that she did (because that's how they told them this year), she literally fell into the hallway floor as she scream-cried again.  She sobbed a while then too out of relief.  Like I said, thank god it's over and thank god she made it. 

There were 33 trying out and they let 13 make it.  They were only supposed to take 12 because that's all that's allowed on to cheer at one time.  So maybe the girls will rotate sitting out 1 game each for basketball and football seasons?  I'm not sure how it's going to work yet, but I'm not complaining.  For all I know, my kid was the 13th, you know?  So I'm not saying a word.  LOL!  I don't care for the way they were told this year.  They didn't post a list on the gym door like they did years previously.  They TEXTED the girls that made it.  The ones that didn't just had to learn about it on facebook by seeing the girls that DID make it celebrating.  I don't mind them texting the ones that made it, I think they just should have posted a list too.  It won't be REAL to some girls until they see it in black and white.  I know my baby (if she hadn't been on the squad last year) would have been sitting there thinking, "Maybe I gave them the wrong phone number and that's why I didn't get my text." or something like that.  I just think they should have either posted a list or texted EVERYONE.  They could have easily texted those girls that DIDN'T make it, saying "Sorry, you didn't make it.  Try again next year though!"  That way the girl isn't sitting on facebook, waiting/hoping for her text and has to learn about it from watching others celebrate that they GOT their text - knowing that she didn't - wondering if she WILL and they just haven't gotten to her yet, etc.  I don't know.  Maybe that sounds stupid.

I'd like to get the $$$ to enroll Hannah in gymnastics in HS.  Unfortunately there is only 1 place like that around here.  If she could improve her tumbling even more, it would help ensure her a spot in years to come. 

I am doing fine.  Other than HOPEFULLY recovering from being sick, I'm just fine.  Physically I feel well otherwise.  I took my support garments off.  It's been 6 weeks since my lipo touch-up, so I should be mostly done swelling and healing on the inside.  I have noticed that I definately still have some swelling as the day goes on.  But I am not putting that support garment back on.  If I sacrifice a little long-term PS success from not wearing it, oh well.  I wore it the recommended 6 weeks and my big PS (tummy tuck, breasts, initial lipo & mons-lift) was right at 4 months ago.  So I'm done.  I cannot wear it another day.  (Although I did consider putting them back on when I had a sort of bad swelling day a few days ago.)  There just comes a point where I'm like... ok... I can't wear the granny-panties-up-to-my-breasts-underwear anymore!  I am to that point.  I hate them.  I'm not wearing them anymore.  If I'm going to swell this far out, I'm wondering if wearing those garments is not doing more harm than good at this point.  I mean, am I just putting off inevitable swelling?  I'm beginning to think so.  So I'm just going to swell and get it over with - then maybe I'll finish "healing" and the swelling will go away.  I don't know.  I wore the stupid things for the 4 - 6 weeks my PS advised, so I figure it's up to me at this point.  And I'm done with the support panties.  My tummy is still numb which is odd feeling, but I know that can last months (or even be permanent in some cases).  So I'm just ignoring that as best I can and I'll get used to it.  I'm still funny-looking naked - just in a different way than before!  LOL

Work is fine.  I have been REALLY overwhelmingly busy the last month or so.  Seriously, I have had too much to do lately.  It's one assignment ontop of another.  I think I got a little bit more handle on stuff, caught up a little, towards the end of this week.  Next week I am going to work on more of the same.  Hopefully, by the end of this coming week, I will at least have my head above water.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that - but not holding my breath.

OMG - I almost forgot to add that I bought new living room and kitchen furniture.  It looks fabulous and I love it all.  I have a buffet in my kitchen for the first time EVER (long overdue trust me).  The couch and love seat are a charcoal kind of gray chanille and the 2 "gaming" chairs are a lush cream color.  I love it.  Now I just have to pay for it.  LOL

So I have no new updates to provide.  It is cold and wet here and I'm tired.  So I'll be quick.

My weight is holding at 127.2 as of Sunday, so that's fine.

Kids are both good.  Daughter has a new boyfriend who I'm sure I'll have to watch, but that's life.  Son is looking at several options in the romance department.  Basketball season is over this week (hopefully - but who knows with inclement weather rescheduling?) - so that's good.  Track is next.  Both kids are running.  But I don't go to track meets - just not feasible.

Hubby got moved to file room today.  We're not sure why.  Maybe it is demotion sort of thing because he is not good enough? Or maybe just because he is the low man on the todem pole?  Or maybe just because - who knows.  Still gets paid the same and I'm still praying that they hire him when this probationary period is up.  I'm not there - so I don't know what's going on.

On to why I'm hacked off.  Well, not really hacked off.  Just disgusted I guess.

So I was at Wal-Mart a few days ago and the lady behind me asked what kind of Atkins bar box I was buying and I showed her.  I said I loved them and ate them often.  She asked how many carbs they had and I handed her the box and said I think 17 or 18 (I buy 2 different kinds & they differ by 1 gram.)  She proceeded to confirm this, then said "Yes but you have to look at the amount of sugar because that's what really counts." 

Maybe I am wrong to think/feel this way, but I admit I found it a little odd that some stranger (who was overweight - obese to boot) would try to give me nutrition advise.  I said something like, "Oh I'm the last person that needs nutrition advice.  I've had to learn all about nutrition because I had gastric bypass surgery a couple of years ago."  She says, "Oh me too! I"

Then she proceeds to say, "I had my stomach stapled 10 years ago"  (Can you BELIEVE she called it stomach STAPLING?  But that's not the crabby part.  Here it comes.  She says, "Just wait until you're 10 years out like me.  The stomach DOES stretch out." 

She said it in a way (and I took it) like she was saying that I would regain my weight.  I said something like, "Well that's why I measure my meals - so that that will not happen to me.  I'm going on 3 years out and still don't eat more than 1/2 cup.  If I continue to cap my intake at 1/2 cup, my stomach won't stretch back out.  I'm always telling people that one of the number 1 mistakes post-ops make is to eat until full because it takes more and more to get that full feeling through the years."  She agreed, but then added, "Three years out... hum... that's about when I was at my lowest weight too."  As if this was the lowest I would get.

I said, "Well, I hit my lowest at about 18 months out when I got down to about 120 lbs.  Then I had to adjust my intake to gain weight."  She said, "Oh me too!  My ideal weight is about 150 and I got down to about 130 and had to regain.  I started out at 300+ and now I have gained back up to 220.  I've had my butt done, my tummy tuck and my breasts done.  So now I gain weight here."  (She pointed to the area between her tummy and breasts.) 

I asked who did her surgery and she said Gibbs.  When I asked her about her intake, habits, etc - she said, "Well see I never had any education about any of that."  Well, after questioning her (we talked on the way out to our cars in the parking lot and I invited her to support group), she admitted that she does not go to any support groups (Dr. Gibbs doesn't require it even to this day, but you'd think she would have voluntarily went to at least one.).  She also drinks with her meals, doesn't measure her intake, doesn't journal her food and doesn't focus on protein. 

So hello.... she didn't regain because her stomach stretched back out.  She is obese again because she started eating and drinking LIKE an obese person again.  This surgery does not FIX you.  It HELPS you FIX you.  If I ever allow myself to go back to eating like a morbidly obese person again, I will BE a morbidly obese person again. 

It discourages me to hear stories like hers, but maybe it is good to hear/see one every once in a while.  I just wish I only saw/heard them when I wanted to or NEEDED to... maybe if I was having a weak week or something.  When I'm trucking along just fine... I don't want to see/hear things like that.  I guess that sounds childish... but I'm in a childish mood I guess. 

I spent almost an hour typing an update on here yesterday only to have my ie fail at the last minute and I lost it all.  So if this update seems rushed/abrupt, that's why.

It seems like it's been a while and I don't remember what I've updated you guys on and what I haven't, so I'll just give a general run-down of everything.

KIDS UPDATE

My daughter is doing well.  Still cheering and loving it.  Still boy crazy and worrying me sick over it.  Still full of drama.  She dropped a D on her last report card and is terrified that it will keep her out of cheer next year, so she's working hard to bring it up.  The only thing is that my daughter's definition of working hard isn't necessarily anyone else's definition of working hard.  So I have to stay on her a little bit.  I hope she brings it up this semester.  We found another lady who wasn't psycho to corn row her hair and I sew in the extensions every couple of weeks, etc.  She complains about almost everything and is a smartmouth.  I think that may be normal for her age, but it still makes me want to pinch her head off sometimes.  I make her write sentences instead. 

My son is doing well also.  Football season is over with so now he is spends that time running track and lifting weights, etc.  He has the body of an underwear model - all muscle without a pinch of fat on him.  If he had more confidence and wasn't so bashful, he'd have girls and probably some grown women falling at his feet.  He has a girlfriend (still the odd one whose parents wanted us to come have a "get to know you" supper with them on xmas night.  The girl's mother is a little too friendly with my son in my opinion.  She texts him and facebooks him.  I find that odd, but maybe I'm the behind-the-times one?  When this girl broke up with my son a week or so ago because things were "moving too fast for her", this woman counciled my son (via text and facebook) on how to win her daugther back - saying things like "just talk to her like a friend for a few days and see what happens" and stuff like that.  Nothing she says to him is creepy or anything.  I just get an overall feeling of unease with how much contact she has with him.  It may be just me.  But I'm watching that situation though.  (My son knows I find it weird and that irritates him because he just absolutely LOVES her family.  He says that they are the friendliest people/family he has ever known.  They really are.  They try to invite us to do things with them occassionally.  I hesitate to do that because I don't want it to be weird when the kids eventually break up - which I have no doubt will happen since she's 13 and he's 15.)  But I digress.

HUBBY UPDATE

Hubby is still working.  At the end of his initial 6 month probationary period they didn't hire him though.  They extended his probationary period another 6 months.  I think it was because he was behind with his work (even though everyone stays behind - maybe he was more behind than most?) but I'm not really sure.  He has been doing better though since then, so I really think they will hire him at the end of this 6 month period.  If they don't, I think I'm going to encourage him to look for something else because that's just weird.  He really likes his job a lot.  (At least he says he does and I really hope he's not just saying that to convince me or himself that he does if you know what I mean.)  I love his schedule and his lack of job-stress - so I hope they DO hire him or whatever they call it when they allow you to stay on and go off probation as a "real" employee.  But I have no control over any of that, so I try not to think about it or I'd run mad with worry.

He is almost done painting my parents house.  It looks really good.  The weather has prevented him from working on it for a week or so now, but it shouldn't take much to finish it.  I may get out there and help him finish it next weekend or something.  Who knows.  They just paid him for it a day or so ago (pretty good too actually) so it needs to be wrapped up soon.  Hopefully then he'll start on OUR house.  (Please lord, let him start on our house.  It needs it SOOOOO bad.  It has been half-painted for probably a year now - maybe longer.  No kidding.  Trust me.  I would NOT kid about this.)

MOM & REST OF FAMILY UPDATE

Mom is doing well.  She's keeping her weight off and looking GREAT!  She seems to be feeling great too!  She has recovered nicely from her plastics and is trying to pay down her bill quickly so she can go for another round!  More power to her!

I saw my aunt in Wal-Mart and she looks great too.  She and mom had been over to their dad's (my papa's) house.  He is not doing so well.  He's old and it's probably getting close to the end there.  I'm not really sure.  I'm not a visiting type of person - even with family.  I've told you all that I am socially disfunctional.  That is not just with friends.  It's with family too.  So I haven't been to see them in forever.  That's sad.

My dad is doing fine.  His business seems to be doing well - especially for the winter.  Although really the only thing I have to gage that on is the fact the the crews do leave every morning in the trucks.  That's not exactly any scientific evidence that things are great.  LOL.  I just don't hear him complaining (and of course I'm not going to ASK him how the business is or he'll actually respond and I really don't want to ever talk about business - well hardly ever - with my dad).  It's just not a good idea - you will have to trust me on this. 

He told mother that he was going on a diet this week.  I don't know if he really will, but he probably will.  Usually when he says he is going to do something, he does.  I'm not supposed to know though.  He never tells anyone he is going on a diet (I guess so that noone will know if he fails that he was trying to do something to begin with).  So when dad diets, it is usually supposed to be a secret.  He only tells mother.  Then she tells me.  Then I mention it to my husband.  But then it goes no further.  Well, unless I blog about it on the internet or something.  But really... who reads this who would ever speak to my dad in a million years?  I hope he does go on a diet and I hope he's one of the 2% of people who succeed at them.  He is over 300 pounds now and that worries me. 

I feel bad sometimes - like I contribute to it.  Really I guess I do.  Usually once a week, I cook a dessert for my hubby (homemade scratch cookies, pie, cake, candy or some such).  Since one man doesn't need an entire dessert, I usually send 1/2 down to my dad.  Whereas my hubby will take the whole week to eat his 1/2 of whatever it was (pie, cake, etc), my dad will usually eat his 1/2 for dessert that night.  I missed the last couple of weeks before last for some reason I can't remember now and he called wanting to know what he had done wrong.  So he's kind of come to look forward to it and would definately miss it when I stop.  But I WILL stop whenever he starts his diet.  I've told mom to tell me when he does because then I will stop sending desserts down there (or only send low-cal, low-fat, low-sugar ones - which are few and far between due to my husband's taste and I cook things he will like).  So I think I definately never should have started sending them down there.  I just didn't want to waste food and it is hard to cook for ONE person.  (My kids don't like most desserts I make my hubby because he usually wants stuff with nuts in them and they hate nuts.)  So I'm not sure what to do on that front.  Part of me definately thinks quit sending them.  But part of me KNOWS (and I do KNOW because he has done it for YEARS) that he'd just eat some other crap he's got down there if I didn't send it.  Still, I'll probably start sending just a tiny sample down there and have hubby take the rest to work to share or something.  Daddy may be hell bent on eating himself into an early grave, but I'm not going to provide the shovel. 

MY JOB

I have been REALLY busy at work lately.  It seems like it's been that way since my plastics in November.  Actually I don't think it SEEMS that way.  I think I really have been busier in the last couple of months.  Part of it is the time off I took in December and part of it is the increased work-load that has accompanied the extra job duties we just had placed on it.  It's a combination of things that have added up to me feeling like I'm constantly a week to 2 weeks behind in everything I'm doing.  Oh well.  It has to get better soon, right?  Okay, maybe not HAS to get better - but HOPEFULLY will get better soon.

MY WEIGHT & PLASTICS

I have recovered nicely from my plastics.  It turns out I only THOUGHT that they removed every bit of fat I had out of me from my abdominal area.  Turns out, they don't do that at the same time they do a tummy tuck because if they could remove TOO much and leave you with sunken in places or poke marks, etc.  To reduce the likelihood of that, they just lipo most of what they think needs removed, then do a lipo touch-up (if you need it) when most of your healing is done from the tummy tuck. 

Well, when I went in for my follow-up, I showed him how puffy my kitty still was.  (Turns out, he didn't lipo that area at all like I thought he had - he just lifted it.)  I also had a little more fat left on my right side than my left which was visible now that most of the healing from the tummy tuck is done.  He also said that he could remove more from below my breasts right at the top of my abdominal area which I was totally psyched about!  So he suggested a lipo touch-up and he agreed to do it under local right over my lunch break at work one day.  (Definately not an ideal situation to get that much lipo done under local as opposed to being put under, but it's not like any surgeon really wants to put me under when they know my history with anesthesia.)

I had my lipo touch-up done this past Thursday (01/28/10).  As promised, they set it up for my lunch break and I only had to take a couple of hours of leave to tack on there to fit it into my schedule!  I walked out of there when it was done like nothing had even been done to me!  They removed another 550 cc (if I heard them correctly - but I didn't ASK, I just overheard, so I definately need to verify that # because I certainly can't take that to the bank by any means).  They lipo'd my kitty and places throughout my abdominal area - especially up at the top and on that right side right about my incision.  It was a REALLY odd experience to be awake for.  I worried that the feeling of the vaccuum tube would make me sick (like gross me out kind of sick), but I was okay.  It did hurt.  In fact, some of it hurt pretty bad.  But I was pretty numb for hours afterwards.  That was good because they said I needed a support garment that went higher, so I had to run by Wal-Mart and shop for one right after I had it done!  But I found one that works, so it's all good.

Just like the first plastics, the swelling is annoying.  Some days there is none.  Other days I wonder if I am going to be able to pull the compression garment back up over me because it is so tight.  Some days, I look normal in the mirror.  Some days there is so much fluid from swelling that my body around the garment puffs out like muffin top (only in reverse since it's my thighs on the bottom that tend to do this and not the chest/stomach at the top).  Hopefully it will go away soon.I hate swelling.  I really do. 

I always read (on here and other places) that you could swell for up to a year after plastic surgery.  I never wanted to believe that.  Honestly, I kind of figured that that was some post-op's way of excusing results that they were less than elated with or maybe even to excuse away a little weight gain.  I believed that was the case sometimes because I just couldn't believe that you could stay swollen for up to a year following something like plastic surgery when people that have things like HEART surgery and other major surgeries don't stay swollen for that long.  But in this case, seeing is believing (or rather LIVING it is believing).  Even at almost 2 months out from my initial plastic surgery, I still had some days where I was swollen.  It wasn't nearly as BAD or as OFTEN - but it was definately still there and definately still an issue. 

I hope the swelling from this procedure goes away and goes away fast.  I absolutely HATE the undergarments (compression/support/control panties) that I have to wear.  They are about as attractive as hand-me-down granny panties and about as comfortable as a corset.  NOT good.  But enough of that complaining.

My weight is doing just fine.  I am easily maintaining my weight in my 125 - 130 maintenance window.  I stay a little closer to 130 since my plastics - but I don't care.  I could forever stay at 129.9 and I wouldn't care.  As long as I am in that comfort window I have set for myself, it's all good.  I've heard and read that it can take up to a year for a person's weight to restabalize post-plastics.  I haven't found that I fluctuate though.  I mean I do have "gains" on the scale when I'm swollen.  I even got up to 130 even once since my plastics.  But I knew it was fluid, so I didn't freak.  It fell back off the next week when I wasn't as swollen.  But other than that, I've not noticed any actual weight fluctuations (that weren't fluid related as I just indicated).  So either fluid weight was what they meant when they were talking about weight fluctuations OR I dodged a bullet there?  I don't know or care.  I weighed in at 129 pounds this morning (when I wasn't swollen).  After going to town today though, etc, I am so swollen tonight though that my garment feels obscenely tight around my thighs - so I'd probably weigh 132 or 133 if I were to weight myself now.  In fact, hold on and I will just to see what it says.  Be right back....

Sorry that took a minute longer than I said.  What can I say?  I had to pee too.  I weighed 132.  Am I good or what?  I figured it would be about that.  Not only can I physically SEE when I'm swollen, I can feel it.  It's not something you have to wonder about.  LOL.  It is fairly obvious.  But on to my next complaint.

WTF is up with the bruising following lipo?  Seriously.  You leave the surgery and there isn't any bruising.  Even the next day and the day after, no bruising.  The suddenly on day 3 (and it was the 3rd day post-op with my first plastic surgery and the 3rd day post-op from the touch-up lipo also), I wake up with a light rainbow on me - black, blue, purple and a dark sickly looking yellow.  Isn't that weird that it doesn't show up until day 3? 

Really that is not weird compared to what I'm about to tell you though.  I hesitate to even tell any of you this because it will make me look stupid and I don't like looking stupid (who does).  But the way I figure it, I've probably looked stupid on here before and been too stupid to even know it - so why not forge ahead?  I mean really, at this point, why hold anything back - even the stuff that makes us look stupid?   WARNING... Gross stuff ahead! 

So everyone knows when they do lipo, they make tiny incisions around the area you want lipo'd.  (These are small incisions made just big enough to stick a ball point ink pin into as this is about how big around the long rod they use to vaccum the fat out of you is.)  Well, I had 4 of those holes (incisions) made - all of which he made right in my anchor incision from my tummy tuck to keep from adding any additional scars.  I had one hole/incision about an inch above my belly button, one hole/incision right in the center of the "t" portion of my anchor incision (right above the center of my pubic hair) and one hole/incision on each end of the horizontal portion of my anchor incision.

Well, when they do lipo, they pump your stomach full of fluid that helps numb you, etc.  Usually this fluid is absorbed into the body over time as you heal.  Some of the fluid can also leak out of the incisions post-op (since it is fluid and there are holes - albeit stitched shut after the procedure - but still holes all the same).  I either didn't read that or didn't remember that from my lipo research.  So after my procedure when I went to pull on my compression garment, fluid just literally started running out of the hole/incision on my right side.  I called the nurse over and was like, "OMG I have done something to myself!"  She grabbed a bandage and put it on there and said something like, "No, that can totally happen sometimes.  It's that fluid we pumped you full of.  That's one reason why we had your incisions covered in pads whenever you had your tummy tuck w/ lipo.  You need to get some maxi pads and just put them over the holes to catch any of the fluid to keep from ruining your clothes."  Then I was like oh okay. 

Well, when I came home and tried to pull the compression garment on/off to go to the bathroom, etc - every single time I did it, fluid would come out.  (I am not talking about a drop here.  I'm talking about probably 2 tablespoons.)  It was also hard to get the garment pulled up on me AND put/keep the pad over the holes while trying to pull it up in place, etc.  So I was standing in my bathroom with my pants down, looking down and thinking to myself.... (follow along here with my thought process y'all)....

I'm thinking.... okay... the fluid is in there.  It comes out worse when I pull up my garment because I'm having to mash my swollen self down into the garment.  So pressing on myself causes the fluid to come out.  I wonder if I could just deliberately press on myself and just mash it all out.  Then I wouldn't have to worry about trying to have 3 sets of hands to hold pads in place over 4 holes while pulling up the garment, etc.  I mean, it if was HARMFUL for the fluid to be leaking out of the incision, it would have worried the nurse: but it didn't.  In fact, she seemed completely unphased by what I considered to be lot of fluid to just be running out of a hole in a person.  I'd also be lying if I didn't admit to the fact that the OCD part of me could not stand the thought of fluid being in me like that.  And I was still numb, so it wasn't like it was going to hurt.  Also, I didn't have to worry about injuring my insides because there was nothing done inside but the lip this time.  WARNING..... I mean it guys.  Gross stuff is coming. 

So you guys see where this is going, don't you?  That's right.  I decided to just slowly and deliberately mash as much of the fluid out of myself as I could.  So I started slowly mashing on my entire front (from just below my breasts to my lower mons - everywhere that got lipo'd).  If you can imagine how you'd slowly try to work air bubbles out of a sandwich bag, that's what I did.  Most of the fluid came out of the hole/incision on the right side, but some also came out the left and a few drops only came out the bottom center (while none came out of the above-the-belly-button hole/incision). 

In the beginning, all I had to do was lightly mash anywhere on my front and fluid would run out.  In fact, if I mashed enough it would "shoot" out of the incision on my right side.  After about 5 straight minutes of this (and using an entire box of extra super absorpancy tampon fillings to capture the fluid as it came out), I changed my approach to ensure that I got as much of it as possible out. 

I began working from the outsides towards the incisions themselves.  If you can imagine how you'd try to work air bubbles out of a plastic tarp or cover, that's what I was doing.  I'd start mashing at the outsides and work my way to the incision and the fluid would run (and sometimes spray/shoot) out.  I did that for about another 5 straight minutes (and used another box of super absorbancy tampon fillings to soak up all that fluid). 

By then, my stomach actually looked and felt more normal/better.  It was like an instant swell-reducer and I still don't regret doing it.

In any event, that's my update which I really HAVE to wrap up now because I'm falling asleep while typing this (it's 2:20 am & I have to get up to go to work tomorrow - HELLO!!!!).  So I gotta go!

I'll update again when I can! 

Wen

I weighed in this weekend @ 130 lbs even.  Normally, that would be my freak-out zone entry point.  BUT, I am swollen and I can FEEL and SEE that I am swollen.  So I don't believe it's actual "weight" gain, but "fluid" weight.  In fact, I'd bet money on it.  (I also know I haven't been taking in any more calories, etc to have a real gain.)

I saw my plastic surgeon this week.  He saw my swelling and said to start using my compression garment again.  (Yes, it is such a joy wearing that.  I was SO excited.)  He also said he could do a second round of lipo.  (It is really just finishing the lipo they already started pre-op.  That was news to me.  I had thought they lipo'd every bit of fat I had in me through my middle since that is what I asked for.  Well, it turns out, they can't really do that while they're doing the tummy tuck because they may take "too much" and leave you with divids or sunken spots of something.  So they are really  just going to finish the lip that they already started.  It will be done in the office right there and I won't be knocked out or anything.  There is no way I'm getting put to sleep for anything again unless I HAVE to.)  So anyway, I'm swollen, back in my compression garment and waiting to hear from them as to when they can work me in for an hour or so to finish my lipo.

Due to the swelling, I've stopped taking my salt tablets.  I figure being off them for a few months isn't going to kill me.  Maybe it will help with the swelling.  (Although, so far... not.)  I am still salting my food though.

I have noticed that I have edema in my legs and ankles lately.  I don't know why.  It's annoying.  As a matter of fact, the edema in my legs is really worse than my plastic surgery swelling.  Who knows why?  I don't.  I have those deep sock rings around my legs when I take my socks off at night.  I hate that.  If it keeps up, I'm going to the DR about it. 

I ordered an ice cream maker online this weekend - a Cuisinart Ice-20.  I'm going to start making my own protein ice cream.  I can't do protein shakes, but I do love me some protein ice cream.  I made my first attempt batch from a recipe I found online with  my blender tonight.  It was pretty good.  It had more of an ice milk texture though than an ice cream texture.  So it needs work.  But it is good. 

My daughter, who recently turned 13, and I have been into it 2 or 3 times in the last week.  She is SO smart-mouthed.  I seriously think that SHE thinks she can do pretty much whatever she wants the majority of the time.  She seems to believe that she is the boss of everything and everyone in her world too.  I have seriously wanted to ring her neck at least twice in the last week.  This must be a teenage daughter vs mother dynamic.  I hope so.  I'd hate to think it was just us.  But I seem to remember wanting to ring my mother's neck when I was a teenager.  So I'm thinking it's normal.  She had better improve her attitude quickly or I may be on the wall to a nuthouse.  Not good. 

In any event, I had today off for the MLK holiday.  It's back to work tomorrow.  Joy.  LOL

Tonight is probably not the best night to blog because of my frame of mind - but I have time, so what the hey!

It is freezing cold and there's snow on the ground here.  Hubby couldn't go to work today because he kept slipping and sliding trying to get out.  I didn't start work until 10 am due to inclement weather closing office until 10 am.  So I felt like I didn't get much done today.  The kids school was closed today because of the ice/snow - so they were home all day which didn't help.  (Although, they were surprisingly well behaved and quiet today which WAS good since I was working.)

I did make some fabulous supper, so that was good.  I also spent all afternoon doing laundry and got a lot of that done there.

I looked through the forums here but didn't post hardly anything (once on the AR board).  I've been cooling it lately on here.  I had not been posting much over the last few months (1 because of lack of time and 2 because of lack of initiative).  I actually had time (and less stress which helped with initative) to over the holidays, but I quickly tired of it. 

I'm really annoyed with OH to be honest.  Actually I'm annoyed with a lot of PEOPLE on OH too.  I have no patience for ignorance and I have no patience for dishonesty - ESPECIALLY when it comes to something as important as a WLS journey (that can save your life). 

I am sick of reading posts by ignorant people who have surgery thinking it will "fix" them without any change in behavior/thinking.  It is absolutely SICKENING to come on here and see someone who is a week out post something like "I just ate fajita nachos and I'm supposed to still be on all liquids - HELP!"  or "I'm 1 month post-op, just ate New Years dinner and it only took 1 grilled chicken breast and 1/2 cup of steamed vegetables to fill me up!  I know that sounds like a lot, but I'd have eaten 10 times that last year - so I'm so proud of myself!"  What a dumbass.  I mean really, most of us were so bad off pre-op, it wouldn't take much to eat better than we did before.  That's like a recovering alcoholic say he only had 1 3 beers tonight when he used to have 1 bottle of vodka, so he's so proud of himself.  Hello.  If you are a "recovering" alcoholic and you are already having 3 beers 1 month into your "recovery", how many do you think you will be back up to in a year, or two, or three? 

I am sick of people who are so ignorant that they fear a surgery when the disease of obesity is far more likely to kill them than ANY surgery would.  (I mean HELLO... the risk of death with RNY is the same as the risk of death from a hysterectomy.  When a woman needs one of those you don't see her or the people around her trying to talk her out of it because she or they are afraid she's going to die.  So why do that with RNY?  It is either a: ignorance or b: an excuse - which is the same as dishonesty.) 

I am sick of surgery wars.  To me, if you didn't know about the DS prior to your surgery, you are too ignorant to have the DS.  If you did something as life-altering as SURGERY without even reading up on the subject (and anyone who even types in weight loss surgery into google gets a DS website hit), then you are too stupid to have the DS and probably too stupid to have WLS in general.  (That may get me a few REALLY nasty comments on here, but oh well.  Bring it on.  I mean what I say or I wouldn't type it here.)  If you are smart enough to get onto this forum and talk about weight loss surgery, you are smart enough to have discovered the DS.  It is NOT a mystery.  There is no hidden agenda by surgeons to hide the DS, etc.  My surgeon talked about ALL WLS procedures in his seminar, even those he didn't peform (including the DS, sleeve, etc).  There is no conspiracy here.  While we are on the subject of research and the DS, if I see one more pre-op referring to websites like dsfacts.com as "real", "medical" sources of information, I may have to point out what a dumbass they are.  I guess I should start a website called rnyfacts.com and distort facts about RNY in comparison to other procedures and have all RNYers start referring other pre-ops to there like that is an actual medical website - when in fact it's just a website created by a fanatical post-op.  But I digress.

I am sick of people being dishonest about their journey on here.  I know for a FACT that we have a couple of people on the Arkansas board specifically who are regaining.  They are avoiding the board for the most part and they are avoiding the real life support group.  They're hiding out.  They're ashamed and they are doing the LAST thing they need to be doing.  If you fall off the wagon, the LAST thing you need to do is stop attending AA meetings.  In fact, that is the BEST thing you can do if you start falling off the wagon (or in this case, regaining).  If I ever start regaining, I'm going to be back on here every single night and at support group every single month.  The last thing I'm going to do is start hiding out - unless of course I just don't care!  But I can't see myself not caring.

I'm a little irritated too with my post-op PS swelling.  I'll be 6 weeks out this Thursday.  I am supposed to wear my support/compression garment for the 1st 4 - 6 weeks.  I took it off at about 4.5 weeks because I hated it and was sick of it.  My breasts are healing great and I don't notice swelling there - but I may be missing it because of the area.  I can DEFINATELY tell that I am swollen above my anchor TT incision though.  That's irritating. 

I think I may be premenstrual or under an obscene amount of stress too.  I couldn't hardly sleep last night and have been wanting to bite everyone's head off for the last day or 2.  Hormones, maybe?  I don't know.  Oh well.  Enough for now.  I'll try to be more pleasant next time I blog. 

Well, I was wondering what plastics would do to my weight.  I weighed in on Sunday morning @ 128 lbs.  So apparently, after:

1) removing 2 - 2.5 pounds of skin from my tummy
2) liposuctioning out 600 cc of fat (about a bottle of water's weight worth)
and
3) adding 800 - 900 ccs of total combined breast implant weight into my breasts

there is NO net gain or loss either way.  (Honestly I can't really tell weight wise any difference.)

But, realy it is too soon to tell whether or not I will have a gain or loss.  I'm still so soon out (12 days) that I'm still swollen sometimes and not going to the bathroom quit right yet (still have painkiller in my system that is contributing to a little constipation - a VERY rare thing for me) AND I'm still not back into a regular eating/drinking/moving routine like I was pre-op.  Everything is sort of still moving slowly.  Some days I don't get in all my calories - although when I don't I only miss it by 100 calories or so.  So the next day I make an effort to make it up (since it's only a 100 calories or so I miss, it is easy to just add it to the next day's intake to make the overall intake work and not be under).  But still, I'll be more sure of my overall weight restabalization whenever I'm routinely hitting my goal of 1650 calories every day - instead of 1550 one day, then 1750 the next. 

In any event, I have DEFINATELY lost inches.  I think the most inches I lost was right below my breasts, at the tippy top of my stomach.  I also lost a lot of tummy too though.  When I put my hands on my hips, my hands sit right on bone.  There is NO padding left.  I did ASK him to lip out every bit of fat that there was left in me in my midsection - but that's because I have ALWAYS (even as a kid) been built with a pot-belly.  Even when I lost down too low to 121 lbs and was wearing my daughter's size 0 pants and was about to have to shop in the little kid's section, I still had a pot belly.  So I figured I had fat pockets there that I just couldn't lose no matter what.  You know how some people just have fat deposits like that they will not go away no matter what.  So I told him to lipo every single bit of fat out of me that he could - thinking that that would take the pot belly away. 

Well, he did and said that there was hardly nothing there to lipo - only about 600 ccs.  He took it out of my tummy and hips (everywhere in mid-section region) and I think (hope) some out off my pubic bone.  (Sorry if guys are reading that - I guess I should have typed a warning before saying that or something).  In any event, it's gone. 

Not that I mind putting my hands on my hips and feeling only bone and skin under my hands.  It doesn't look gross or boney or anything.  It's just different.  Actually, I look pretty great.  In fact, I have not gotten ANY negative comments about my outcome.  Every single comment I have gotten has been positive. 

My dad has irritated me a couple of times with his nickname for me "Dolly" because my boobs are so big.  BUT (and this is a BIG but), at the time, I was wearing my pre-op bra which was a 34 D "Body By Victoria" bra from Victoria Secrets.  The whole reason I used to wear that bra is because it made me LOOK like I had boobs when I didn't.  It has about a cup's worth of padding on the inside bottom of the cup to push up whatever you have to make you look a cup or 2 larger than you are.  At the time I was wearing that 34 D Body by Victoria bra, I had walnut size breasts and extra skin that I would "pour" into the cup.  (Mammogram ordered by my OBGYN confirmed that the "walnut sized mass" he felt in each of my breasts were just the only breast tissue I had left.  So do not think I underestimate how small the actual breast tissue under all that skin really was.  I have medical PROOF that there was virtually nothing there under the skin.)  In fact, I could easily have worn (and actually did put one to see once) my daughter's 32/34 B with the skin just mashed down instead of comfortably poured into the cup.  Without the extra skin, I would have been able to go braless without a second glance from anyone.  I could mash down on my breasts and feel all my ribs beneath them.  But I digress.

When the surgeon asked me how big I wanted to be, I pointed to my 34 D Body by Victoria bra and said I want to fit into that bra - but I want it to be breast and not skin that fills the cup.  So he did perfectly.  My breasts fit perfectly into that bra.  But that bra still adds about 1 - 2 cup sizes to how big you look.  So in addition to post-op swelling, I had on that bra whenever my dad made those comments AND I had one a long sleeve tshirt that kind of clung to me.  So with a new trimmer tummy and the swollen breasts w/ THAT bra on.... I probably did look like Dolly Parton. 

So after I remembered why I bought that bra and showed my mother all the push-up padding on the inside, she agreed that that was probably why they looked so big.  So I bought a new all cotton bra this weekend like I used to wear when I had breasts on my own (no walnuts surrounded by skin - actual BREASTS to fill a bra with) and I've been wearing that since.  It is a Bali from Kohls and I actually LOVE it.  It is SOOO comfy.  They say not to buy any new bras for 2 months post-op to give your breasts time to settle and all the swelling to go out.  Bras are expensive.  But I needed at least one that didn't add a couple of cup sizes to me.  So I got it.  I'll probably buy 2 or 3 more just like it when the 2 months is up and I can be sure of my final size/shape/etc. 

In any event, there is a LOT of skin gone from my tummy.  It definately doesn't look perfect - but it never will be.  I don't have an apron of skin hanging over my panties anymore.  I don't have to tuck my skin into my pants anymore.  I don't have entire handfuls of skin that I can pull out from my body anymore.  My entire body doesn't do the wave anymore when I jump up and down.  I don't have pain in my stomach when I jump up and down anymore.  When I lay down on my side, my tummy doesn't lay in a puddle next to me.  That's all great.  So looks wise, I don't have the tight, trim tummy of a 20 year old Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.  But I never will.  And I have a MUCH trimmer tighter tummy than I did have. 

Tummy Tuck w/ Lipo, Breast Augmentation & Implants (and bonus panni lift which surgeon did in w/ my TT)... $10,000
Approximately $$$ spent on various compression/shaper garments purchased until I found one I could live with... $80
Feeling better about myself when I look in the mirror... PRICELESS

I had my breast lift w/ implants and tummy tuck w/ muscle tightening and lipsuction today (technically yesterday since it's after 3 am.)  I am home and awake @ 3:10 because I have slept most of the day & afternoon (which isn't really condusive to a good night's sleep - especially when you're not comfortable).  So I figured I'd take a break from overnight tv (which is SOOOOO entertaining by the way) to get on and update y'all. 

Yesterday afternoon I got a call that they had moved my plastic surgery up to 6:45 am as opposed to the previously scheduled 8 am.  (They had to cancel or reschedule the small procedure that they had scheduled before me.)  That was fine by me so I said okay. 

PRE-OP

My mom drove me and we got there at 6:45, then got called back about 5 minutes later. 

First I met with the anesthesiologist (I'm sure I'm butchering that spelling - but you guys get that I mean the dude that puts you to sleep.) who went over basic questions and explained what he'd be doing (putting me to sleep and giving me stuff for pain through the IV). 

Then the surgeon and nurse came in and he made marks with black marker all over me.  He asked me again how big I wanted my breasts to be.  I told him that my mom's Cs looked good to me (Cs are the most common natural size in the US now) but that I wanted to be a tad bit bigger than her (because I have ALWAYS had large breasts and it just won't feel like me without them.  SOOOO I asked for a sort of inbetween size - larger C to big D.  I also had less actual breast tissue left under my skin than my mom did.  (I knew this because my OBGYN actually had them mammogrammed because he thought the walnut-sized masses in each breast may be tumors.  Turns out that was just the only breast tissue I had left.) 

He made marks on my hips and stomach where they were going to cut and liposuction.  I had asked to be liposuctioned to get out those extra fat pockets that I can't seem to lose no matter how small I am.  Who wants to be a pot-belly after going through all this to lose weight?  I wanted NO fat left in my stomach and the skin as tight as possible without risking skin necrosis (the skin can actually die if you get pulled too tight - so I wanted to be as tight as he could possibly make me without that happening).  He also made circles with the marker where he was going to liposuction a little off the sides of my upper hips which was a happy surprise to me.  I think he did that so that when he did the tummy tuck there wouldn't be places pooching out on each side?

We went to the operating room.  The anesthiologist started the IV (he missed once, then hit a vein the second time).  I guess I should have warned him that I had rolling veins before he stuck me the first time.  But I never know whether or not that will HELP the person sticking me or make them nervous and HURT the person sticking me. 

Then he left to eat breakfast while I stripped out of my gown so that I was naked on a blue tarp thing so the nurse could wash me down.  The nurse scrubbed me down from armpits to knees with a scrub brush with some special sterile soap stuff on it.  They I climbed on the bed and the nurse put on the leg compression devices and I got my socks back.  (THANK GOD FOR SMALL FAVORS.  OMG IT WAS COLD IN THAT ROOM.  THIS WAS HONESTLY THE WORST PART PRE-OP - BEING SCRUBBED DOWN NAKED IN A FREEZING COLD ROOM.) 

So after my socks and leg devices were back on the anesthisiologist came back in and gave me the stuff to go to sleep.  I told them, "Let's get this show on the road."  That's the last thing I said before being put out for my RNY too.  The next thing I remember is waking up in recovery. 

IN SURGERY

They ended up putting in 480 cc in my right and 440 in my left.  (I wrote that question down and gave it to my mom so she would ask after surgery when I would be too out of it to remember to ask.)  I guess my breasts were a little bit different sized to begin with?

They removed 2 - 2.5 pounds of skin from my stomach.  (That was the only other question I had written down for my mom to ask.)

They liposuctioned about 600 ccs out.  The surgeon and nurse both mentioned after the fact that I didn't hardly have any fat TO liposuction out.  (I guess the pot belly I have always had was either just weak muscle which could TOTALLY be the case or gravity working on my organs?) 

POST-OP

I don't really know what anything looks like yet because I am bandaged from my armpits to my public bone.  But the nurse said I looked fabulous. 

Underneath my breasts are sore when the incisions are - but otherwise they just feel swollen (because they are) and somewhat numb?  My lower stomach is really sore where that incision is.  The incision up the center of my stomach (and behind it where my muscles were stitched together really isn't sore at all right this minute. 

TROUBLE

They finished with my surgery about 1:20.  I went to the recovery room where most patients stay for 30 minutes up to 4 hours.  I was there until between 6 & 7 pm.  

I had warned them ahead of time (in the pre-op appointments AND right before the surgery) that I have had trouble several times waking up from anesthetic.  My obstructive sleep apnea went away with the weight loss.  But I also have central sleep apnea which doesn't go away no matter what you do.  (For those of you that don't know, central sleep apnea is when the part of your brain that is supposed to regulate unconcious action in the body - such as blinking and breathing - "forgets" to tell the body to breath.  So the body doesn't get the signal it is supposed to get from that part of the brain, so it doesn't do that action - in this case, breathing.)  I TOLD THEM THIS SEVERAL TIMES. 

After surgery, they could not get me to start breathing again properly.  I kept stopping breathing and I couldn't cough up the junk in my lungs - it just kept getting stuck right in the back of my throat.  They had to stick a tube down my throat (while I was awake).  I gave them permission to try that because I could NOT get that stuff coughed up and I was getting frustrated.  Then they ran a smaller vacuum tube down through the larger tube to try to vaccuum the stuff out.  I motioned for them to pull the smaller tube out.  Then I pulled the larger tube out.  It was a very uncomfortable - not painful at all really - just very uncomfortable and unnatural feeling to have a tube down your throat.  I was in and out of conciousness.  When I'd fall asleep, my body would stop breathing and they'd wake me up again.  It was like being a soldier who was being tortured with sleep deprevation because I was so drugged that I needed to sleep. 

They tried everything.  They even gave me meds to counteract (nullify) the sleeping and pain meds to see if that would help.  The office closed and the surgeon let all his staff except for the operating room nurse go home at 5:45 pm when I was still not breathing properly.  Once I woke up and asked if I was seeing things or if it was really dark outside.  I wasn't.  It was just after 6 pm.  I knew I should have been done with surgery between 12 and 1 pm.  I knew I should have been in recovery for 30 minutes to 4 hours tops.  So then I started realizing that something was wrong.  They explained to me about my breathing.  I got up to pee and that woke me up a little more.  

The surgeon said that if they could keep my oxygen levels up to in the upper 90s, that they'd let me go home.  So I did my best to deep breath, etc because I was awake and wanted to go home then.  Let's get this show on the road, you know?  So they helped me into a wheelchair where I breathed even better.  Sitting up helped I think.  My O2 levels stayed in the upper 90s for a while and I wanted to go - so they let me go home around 6:30 - 6:45ish. 

The surgeon gave mom his cell phone number in case we needed him.  He also cautioned her about giving me pain meds because he worried that that would contribute to more breathing problems.  So I have only had 2 vicoden since I've been home - 1 before I went to sleep and 1 before I got on here typing this. 

NOW

I'm not in pain really.  I'm really achey, but not like I worried I would be.  I was expecting horrible pain as I had read that plastic surgery was the most painful procedure you could have next to orthopedic surgery.  I know I'm tough - but I just really don't find it to be THAT bad.  When it got uncomfortably painful, I took 1 vicoden and it was enough.

I am walking hunched over like I'm supposed to which is a pain.  I'm sure my back will be aching after a few days of this.  I also HATE the support garments I have.  I bought the smallest size they had which fit fine at JCPenney's when I tried them on.  They were snug - but not uncomfortably so and they are supposed to be snug.  So I thought surely they'd fit perfectly after some of me was gone underneath them.  I did not account for bandages. 

I also could not find any anywhere that had a straddle that unbuttons, so each time I go to the bathroom, I have to pull the tight things over my incisions which I hate.  If I had that to do over again, I'd have bought a medium instead of a small and I'd have gone to Little Rock if I had to to get one with a straddle that unbuttons to use the bathroom.

They want me back in the office tomorrow to take the bandages off my breasts.  So I will get to put on a regular bra tomorrow.  (They recommended a front opening, supportive bra.  I am going to use a cotton, front zippered sports bra that my mom bought that didn't fit her correctly.) 

Unfortunately, I have to wear the panties of torture for a few weeks.  They're supposed to help with swelling but I really wonder if this is worth it?  But I'll do it because he said to and that's why I gave him the big dollars.

In any event, that's the long story. 

The short story is: 
I'm alive and kicking.  
I don't know yet what it looks like or if I'm satisfied with it.
I don't know yet whether or not I'd do it again.
I wish I could walk totally upright because my back is NOT going to like this over the next few days.

OMG.  I have passed my "time for lockdown" cap of 130 pounds. 

I am not AS panicked as I thought I would be.  I guess because I log literally every single food/drink that passes me lips and I know that I have not increased my intake any.  So I guess I feel like it's probably not a REAL gain.  I think it's just more because I've been constipated the last couple of days.  But I'm still leary and wondering if I need to start cutting calories?  It's a bad time to experiment with that though because my plastic surgery is this Thursday.  So I figure I'll leave everything like it is.

I'm going to weigh the morning of my plastic surgery and that night - just for curiousity's sake. 

I made the mistake of walking for a few minutes with my husband today.  I felt so good afterwards.  But tonight I am suffering.  A moment ago, I was in the kitchen and my left knee just gave out from underneath me.  I would have fallen to the floor had I not grabbed the table and my husband grabbed me to keep me from falling.  I love walking.  It disheartens me that I can't do it.  This is the worst my knees have hurt in a while.  Actually... they never hurt unless I walk (continuously as you do when exercising - not just walking in a store or around the house).  I should have known better.

I've had a stressful week.  I don't want to talk about it.  So I'll leave my update here confined to weight, plastics and knee aches.