zphigirl1920
My story starts out when as a small child. At birth I weighed 8lbs 5 oz. I was born to a teen mother who had an affair with a married man. It is one of those things that most people do not really admit to, but hey, it is what it is. Things never got better for me after then. My mother went through and as a result, I ate. By the time I was six, I was placed into the foster care system and here is where it all truly begins.
At age seven, I had been molested five times in three different group homes. To hide the pain, I ate and ate. I did not gain weight at that time, but the habits did not stop. At age ten, I went through that growing thing. I grew one foot and gained 65 lbs. I looked like a woman. I was 5'3" 125 lbs and wonderful. The bad thing was that I was only ten years old. I also wore a 40D bra. I continued to go through group homes and foster homes until, I moved in to my last home at age 13.
At 13, I moved in to my last home and I was still 5'3 or 5'4 but I weighed a whopping 175 lbs. This is not too far from where I am now. I looked 21 and tried to act it too. I was in a safe place, but I could never make friends. I looked too old and did not relate with other kids my age. Most kids were jealous. So take a guess on what I did...I ate. Within a year and a half, I gained 15 lbs to 190 ish. I played sports at school, went for walks and tried to diet, but nothing helped. I lived in a house that loved to eat and cook. I did not resist it. Back then, I loved to cook and eat too.
I maintained being in the 190's until I was 18 or 19 when I went away to college. When I went to college, I gained the freshman 20lbs. I switched colleges and moved to a different state and gained even more. By this time, I was 225lbs. I was miserable. I was sick, seizure prone and married to a man that hated me. So once again, what did I do best, I ate and ate. The difference here was that I maintained my weight for about 3-4 years. I had gallbladder surgery and I begin to loose some weight (10lbs). I felt a little better. I got on some medication that ballooned me up to over 320 lbs and I felt just awful. I am sure glad that it was the medication because when I got off of the meds, I went back down to around 250 where I stayed for 6 years.
When I moved to New Mexico in 2006, I weighed in at 251. The dry air and the weather forced me to go out side more and enjoy. I moved here with high hopes, but it did not happen. I suffered the unexpected loss of my mother, job stall and rejection, and a medical diagnosis that I can live with but will continue to need care for the rest of my life. The good thing is that before surgery, my pre surgery weight was 218. I lost weight on my own partially due to stress, strain, and rejection.
I finally got my act together and will stop allowing people to run me, I finally decided to have gastric bypass surgery. I am so happy that I had it. I exercise more, I laugh more and I have confidence in my body again.
