Question:
How do you overcome your fear to get healthier?
I have been lurking for over a year,and even sent off for a packet from surgeon.A co-worker was having this done(dec 01),so I decided to research it.Well she passed away 3 weeks post-op,and I decided to live fat was better than not at all! She had leakage from the bowel from what I heard.I was not real close to her,but just knowing this was upsetting.I have had 2 ops in my life,tonsils,then gall bladder removal.My neuro says I need a lumbar fusion on my back(DDD,and 2 herniations)but if I was to lose weight it might be preventived.I have high cholesterol(282) and a family history of diabetes,heart attack.I know I would feel better,and be so much healthier if I lost at least 100#s,but I have 2 children,and my co-worker left behind a 5 y/o for someone else to raise.I am so scared!! Scared to do nothing,scared to do something!! Any advice? — melissa S. (posted on August 21, 2002)
August 21, 2002
hiya
as my surgery date got closer, i got more and more scared. the rny was my
10th major surgery and i felt sure i would die on the table since this
surgery was "my choice" as opposed to the others
(c-sections/hysterectomy...) but i did research, went to support groups,
and met with a counselor.
i highly recommend counseling. highly.
also a support group is wonderful.
studies have shown that wls patients need support for at least 3 years post
op. i say 6 mos to 1 year pre op also.
i had to look at why i was having the surgery. i had tried everything to
lose weight, only to lose and regain. the gym, slim fast, weight watchers,
dr. atkins, cabbage soup, phen-fen, redux, meridia, xendrine, dexatrim, all
natural holistic stuff....
i had sleep apnea, extreme high blood pressure even on meds, fallen arches,
was sick all the time, couldn't walk more than 15 feet without having to
catch my breath, sweated all the time, a very diseased gallbladder, severe
back pain,high cholesterol, a pulmonary artery aneurysm, i slept all the
time, i couldn't play with my kids, if i got on the floor someone had to
help me get up, i was wearing size 3x-4x and running out of bigger sizes.
and i hated what/who i saw in the mirror.
i only had 4 months from referral to operation and luckily only a few
complications. nothing major though and i would do it again in a heartbeat.
i wouldn't even blink twice.
my blood pressure is normal - with no meds; my cholesterol is perfect -
with no meds; my aneurysm shrunk to well below the size of needing surgery
(it was borderline); i can walk 5 miles without getting winded; i wear size
6; i can wear bracelets again, i can wear my original wedding band and
engagement rings
i have clavicles!! i can lift over 200lbs with my legs!! i can run around
with my 8 year old on my back!
i went back to school and am working on getting into a new career, i just
got my notary license, i facilitate a wls support group, i volunteer at the
hospital
i like who i see in the mirror, i LOVE the me that gets up at 4:30 in the
morning to work out.
i have 5 kids and a wonderful husband. i told them all how much i loved
them before surgery. i would've died without it. we can all die at any time
but i would rather die knowing that i had truly lived.
you can email me anytime. [email protected]
{{{hugs}}}
kate
— jkb
August 21, 2002
Please consider the lap band (adjustable gastric band). It is much safer
than the other weight loss surgeries. Many people who are very
uncomfortable with the other, more radical surgeries have been very happy
with the band. For more info, see my profile or put "lap band"
or "adjustable gastric band" into a search engine. There is also
a group at yahoogroups.com called bandsters where you can find a wealth of
information. Sometimes the fear is something we need to listen to.
— M. B.
August 21, 2002
I can't say I have completely overcome it yet, but every
time I read something scary or start waffling, I come back
here and consider the dozens and dozens of people who have
been there, scared as me, and come through it. The honesty
on this site is particularly appealing; lots of folks have
had problems to overcome after the WLS, and some don't even
recommend it. Here, the statistics become real. My decision
is closer to being made every time I heft this 325 lb body
and realize that I'm so tired becasue it's like carrying a large man around
with me
everywhere I go. I'm only 32, but my knees creak like a
pensioner's and I sometimes can't breathe. Life as an MO
sucks; I've been on both sides so I know. I can't wait to
get "down there" again. Vanity does play a role, but a very
small one. I like my life and I want to live a long, long time.
— Jeanie
August 21, 2002
The percent of people who have the surgery and die from complications is
very, very low. There are no guarantees in life that you won't or will be
one of those. People die from surgery, however, more people die getting
behnd the wheel of a car every day...it drives me batty when people are
afraid to fly because of a terrorist incident, yet will drive 1000 miles to
go to Disneyworld with their kids in the car-the statistics of dying from a
car accident are astronomically higher than being hijacked!!
If you do not have the surgery, what are your chances for a healthy and
happy life with your 2 children? You said that there is a family history
of high cholesterol, diabetes and heart attack..think that gets better or
worse if you lost weight? You've got a right to be scared-we all were,
but look at this realistically and then make your decision....
— Cindy R.
August 21, 2002
Melissa, I know how you feel. I was so scared that something would happen
to me during my surgery or after it and that I would die. I have four very
small children, that I was so worried about leaving behind. I spent hours
reading the Memorial Board and wondering why I wanted to do this
voluntarily to myself. But, I had to make a decision. What kind of quality
would I have in my life at my weight? Sure, I managed fine now...but in
another 20 years? I want to enjoy my life and be healthy and be able to do
everything with my children that I can't do now. I realized one day, that
my children had never even been to a swimming pool...because thier Mom was
to embarrassed to get in a swim suit. You have to weigh your options and
make the best decision for you. Sure, you could die. But, you could also
die just getting in your car and going to the store. People die everyday,
but does that make you afraid to live your own life? If you needed to have
emergency surgery for something that was very painful...would you tell them
no because you were afraid of dying? Obesity is a disease. It is painful
in every single way imaginable! I dont consider this an elective surgery.
YOU NEED IT. I am only 26 years old, with almost no cormidities and I felt
guilty for wanting the surgery because there was really nothing wrong with
me except for my weight...but did I want to wait until I was 50 years old
at even more weight and problems such as sleep apnea and heart problems
before I decided to get the surgery. That would make it even more
dangerous. The decision is yours to make and it is a very PERSONAL
decision. Sometimes though, you have to take a leap of faith even though it
is scary to do it. GOOD LUCK and **God Bless** you!
— Shawnie S.
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