Question:
How do you approach your employer and ask for time off, please read on

   — tannedtigress (posted on March 14, 2002)


March 13, 2002
Your boss wants your medical records? Umm, I don't think so. I would ignore his request for records and do what the previous poster said... just get your doctor to write a note saying it's neccessary. I am sorry you have to deal with a boss like that. Good luck!
   — [Deactivated Member]

March 13, 2002
I agree have Dr office give you a work excuse for leave.(which will also give you job security) I have only been at my job for 9 months and all management is female here big and small but my boss knew my medical problem when I was hired. Also look in to short term disability through social security. I am not sure where you are located but I am in Calif. and I only have to take 5 PTO days before short term disability kicks in and give me 60% of my pay check when I am out.
   — Lovett

March 13, 2002
Hi, you do not have to let him see your medical records, and he has some nerve asking for them, The only thing he may need to see is a note from your doc saying that yes you are getting surgery and need the time off, but for what is none of his business. Talk to your doctor, let him know what is going on, they'll help you with this. Good luck with you and down with fat hating bosses!!! :)
   — Carey N.

March 14, 2002
you need to check with hr in your company and see what thier rules are. Often time people post what they think is right and it sometime may be wrong and cause problems if you follow them. In Nj you must reveal your medical history on your application or you may be fired. Please look into everything before you decide what to do. Good Luck
   — Robert L.

March 14, 2002
I just filed my papers with my employer for my leave and my short term disability 2 weeks ago for my surgery that is scheduled for 3/28. Where it asks for the medical condition requiring this time off, I simply wrote in "major abdominal surgery". My surgeon also had forms that he had to fill out and he wrote the same thing.
   — faybert

March 14, 2002
Hi, I just stated @ my job last sept and I have been talking to my boss for a while about this surgery (even in the interview). She requested that I wait until the time was good for the company so I am. Im scheduled for surgery on 04/29/02 which I will be here almost 8 months by then. I would check directly w/HR to see what bnfts you have then go from there. Mindi
   — Mindi M.

March 14, 2002
Many employers will attempt to have you provide exact information and it is not legal to do so. I agree that you should list major abdominal surgery and have Dr. do the same. In the event that states might have differing laws you might check with Dept. of Labor. I will offer though that it is illegal to ask for medical information on an application....you may provide it after being hired but it cannot be used as part of your application and this IS federal. I am a non profit Exec. Dir. In a past job though I did have surgery and was asked by HR to provide medical "diagnosis" and detailed information on the need for surgery. I did not provide it nor did Dr....but we did put kidney stone surgery. It sufficed. Good luck to you.
   — AJC750

March 14, 2002
No employer has the right to request copies of your medical records - DO NOT SUPPLY THEM. All you need to provide your employer with is a note from the physician who will be performing your surgery. He should include date of surgery, procedure, time off from work, surgery follow-up dates and that's it.
   — dolphins94

March 14, 2002
You're asking your company to waive their policy and advance you paid time off. You're a new employee without a lengthy track-record. As a personnel manager, I would not advance the time off. Of course, I would not ask for medical records either. Your director may be trying to make a decision about how necessary the recovery time after this surgery should be, as well as looking at the seriousness of the surgery to weigh the chances you'll be returning to "pay back" any salary advance. You don't have to provide medical records, and if you're uncomfortable, don't. Your employer will need to have some very clear reasons to waive the policy for you, so that they do not become obligated to waive it for everyone. Depending on your job, you might try to coordinate some type of "work from home" during the second week of your recovery. Finally, I am guessing you have already looked into whether you are eligible for state disability? I know California has it, but am not sure about other states. It's certainly not full salary, but it's something. -Kate-
   — kateseidel

March 14, 2002
I am the Office Manager of a large corporation in the state of Oregon. I would handle things a bit differently, I believe. Wait - let me back up...from a patients stand point, I'd have to say that I'd approach the surgery with as much honesty as possible...maybe not to all but to your supervisor. Your may be feeling that he is "pure fat predjudice" but most people who are truly in that way of thinking, wouldn't even consider hiring an obese person in the first place so maybe he's not as crummy with it as you may feel. If someone else hired you, go to that person to open up to. I would ask for a moment of their time and sit down with them, looking them directly in the eyes and with as much honesty and integrity as possible and tell them that you are asking for complete confidentiality at this point about a problem that you are having. A letter stating the needs is always another way of putting it all into words. I would tell them that the gall-bladder surgery that you've discussed is only part of the problem. I would elaborate in detail about some of the medical conditions you are experiencing. I would tell them that since you've probably tried every single step in the book that a gastric bypass surgery was highly recommended. My PCP actually got me started on my quest for surgery so I if that's the case, I'd explain that too. I would have documentations to success rates and I would explain to them that in the long run, it will only help to increase your energy level, the way you feel on a day to day basis and would cut down on time off that you might need in fighting the medical conditions that are brought on from the obesity. Even though people think you hide the weight well and they don't understand it, you've got to stress to him that this is about health - not simply looking good. After opening yourself up, it always seems to take some of the walls down and not too many people will hold grudges against you for wanting to better your life. I would clearly state that although it sounds drastic to some that your doctors have highly recommended not going through more yo-yo diets because it's simply doing more harm than good to your system. If they haven't told you that in a doctors office, consider yourself told now...the white lie would be that it came from your doctors office when it didn't...it's true. My doctors office stated the exact words to me so I'm simply passing them along. Use it if it will help your plight. Now, from a managers stand point, I am always, always open for communication and concerns from my employees. I encourage it. There is something unique and special about someone coming in to our office and getting past the employee/boss vasad and getting on to the people/people aspect of it. I guarantee there is someone in your bosses life who he will be able to connect your problem to. I guarantee it. I have had some of my most seemingly strong, unemotional employees walk into my office, start to talk, break down a bit with their emotions, honesty and upfront communication and every single time...EVERY single time, they leave with him/her and myself being in a better spot. When people open themselves up and feel a bit vulnerable, there is some kin-ship...some energy that seems to take a shift and bring you straight in front of a real person - almost like a friend. Does this make sense? If someone came to me and asked for help, no matter how long they've been with me, if they are a dedicated employee who works hard and gets their work handled and had time coming to them anyway but needed a bit more time due to medical conditions, I'd agree to pay it. Not for a long period of time but for a week or so - for a 40 hour week, you bet. I'd be even more impressed if the employee, when asking, insisted on it being in writing so if anything occurred or happened that the person wasn't able to come back to work or if they had been paid and was let go or fired or quit for whatever reason before it was paid back, that it could be taken off the top of whatever they have coming to them. Keep me posted on how it goes, please ~ I'm curious. :) If all else fails, make a personal loan from a friend or family member and take out a weeks pay to cover it all. As for asking for personal medical records ~ I think that's wrong. There is a confidentiality statement that is probably in your handbook for employment. If you are upfront and honest about everything, I doubt if they'll have you bring that in. Gallbladder surgery is usually not a 2-week out thing...my best friend had it a few years ago and it was fast healing so this might be why they are questioning it...they may know someone too. Good Luck !!
   — Lisa J.

March 14, 2002
I worried to about talking with my boss after getting my approval. But we sat down and talked about it and he was just great. I figured that I could be back in 3 weeks (barring no problems).We agreed that I could work at home while I healed up. I had all my ducks in a row before we talked and it was better to be honest from jump street.
   — Kathy M.

March 14, 2002
I just wanted to say good luck to you. I have been at my job for almost 2 years now. My boss and some co workers are obese to morbidly obese,but I am very afraid to approach my boss about time off. I just took two weeks unpaid leave in january to stay with my sister when she had WLS and don't think they'd be too willing to give me the time off. I think I will go to human resources to begin with and see how to broach the subject with my boss. best of luck to you
   — candymom64

May 10, 2002
Speaking as a manager, You shouldn't approach this with your managers as an optional surgery. This is a surgery that would not be performed if there wasn't some sort of medical necessity. That needs to be the way you approach this. Legally, I could not keep one of my employees from having a surgery that was medically necessary. I'm sure that by having your Dr. Write something for you will help in a decision to advance you the time off you requested. IF that doesn't help, you aren't working for a very employee friendly company.
   — Gina E.




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