Question:
Did anyone see People Magazine this week?
I have been talking to my family about getting surgery done (they haven't been thrilled about it) and this weekend I come home to find someone bought a copy of People which is raving about some folks that were able to lose the weight on their own. They left it lying around for me to find. While I give these people big kudos for being able to do it on their own, I know that I have tried and failed far too many times and it drives me nuts to hear my family tell me to "just try to diet" again. They keep saying, "well, if these people can do it whay can't you?" Well, first off - I'm NOT them! Secondly, if they are really able to keep it off, they are in a very small minority. How do I get my family off my back and how do you react to people asking why you just don't diet? I'm far to young to waste my life being fat, but I know I will have a hard time being successful if my loved ones don't support me. — [Anonymous] (posted on February 3, 2002)
February 3, 2002
I saw that article too. I loved (NOT) that they had a headline of 'HALF
THEIR SIZE', but the two people on the cover had lost 66 pounds and 70
pounds. Now you know those two did not start at 132 and 140 pounds. Then,
several of the people they profiled lost less than 100 pounds. I'm not
knocking those people, but the headline on the magazine is misleading and
again puts those of us MO back to people asking us why we can't do that.
The fact is that only about 5% of people who lose significant weight keep
it off. As to your family, make sure they are educated about WLS and if
they still think you should just diet, you'll have to just tell them that
you are doing what you think is best for you.
— garw
February 3, 2002
Thanks for this question. I read the People article too and certainly
admire the people they reported on - more power to 'em. I have been
struggling a lot with the idea that I am weak and WLS is the "easy way
out" and "why can't I just do it" etc. etc. but I heard
someting in the first support group I went to that helped me realize this
is the right decision for me (perhaps you can perhaps share this with your
family): According to the NIH, once you reach over 100 lbs. above ideal
weight DIETS DON'T WORK (at least for the majority of people)...you're in a
new catagory. For me, It's too daunting to think of the time it would take
to lose 100+ lbs. In addition, with so many diet failures, it becomes a
self-fulfilling prophecy - why bother? Just tell your family that you are
ready for a PERMANENT sollution, assure them that you have done all your
research and are choosing the best surgery for you, and be sure to let them
know that surgery techniques have improved markedly since the scary
"stomach stapling" days. Finally, have them read some of the
profiles on this site. I hope these ideas help. My mom was very ANTI WLS
initially, but she sees my commitment and determination, and is now all for
it. All the best to you!
— rebeccamayhew
February 3, 2002
Hello, I feel the same way! I didnt read people but everytime I see those
womens day magazines I wanna take them all and hide them so no one I knows
see them!!! I think I am paranoid someone is going to say
that....everytime I see them I freak.. so if you see on the news some woman
goes nuts in grocery store and steals all the Womens day that say how this
person lost 20 pounds in 2 months... yeah that will be me......ok now to be
serious when I first started with this process I found that fact of the 5%
thing and was shocked..and it made me feel way better....I hope the image
of me in a grocery store flipping out helped a little : )
— Jessica L.
February 3, 2002
I did not see the article....
I had lap RNY on November 8, 2001. Luckily, my family and friends were
supportive in my decision...whether they agreed with it or not. Of course,
there will always be the person who puts the damper on your decision. My
answer to people like that was: This is something that I've decided I must
do to enjoy a better quality of life. Is your family heavy? Maybe it is
jealousy in that you are going to do something that they wouldn't be able
to do. PLEASE, don't compromise your decision because of others. You will
NOT be disappointed. I'm down 67 pounds in 12 weeks......and that weight
is gone FOREVER. That, in itself, is worth everything to me. Good luck.
— Dianne K.
February 3, 2002
Hey, didn't everyone here lose weight on their own at least once? I did, 5
times. The last was about 60# I kept off for almost 7 yrs by eating 5
salads per week. Amazingly, I kept most of my organs intact. But then, I
could not eat any less food & function, so I went back to 1 meal every
day, then 2 meals every day. Oops. I gained 120# fast. I shot past my
original high weight by almost 100#!! So, do I get points for starving it
off 5 times? Sure. BUt it didn't last.
— vitalady
February 3, 2002
I didn't see the article either but I had a similar situation. My father
isn't very happy about me having this surgery either. As he puts it
"it's driving him up the wall even thinking about it." I get the
SAME attitude from my family. He sees all these news/talk shows talking
about people losing this weight from diet clincs to who knows what ever
else. Just the other week he called me to come see him at his work. He
was acting like there was something bad he had to tell me or something. So
I'm all worried about this. I go to his office & here he has all of
these things from the internet printed up for me about "fat
camps"!!!!! He wanted to honestly send me to NC to this ludicrously
expensive fat camp for 2 MONTHS because he saw on TV it worked for these
people!!! I know he just cares but HELLO??? He was honestly serious. Why
spend a ludicrous amount of money for basically the same thing I can get
from Weight Watchers for much less money. The only problem I've been there
done that many times over and obviously it hasn't worked if I'm at almost
300 lbs. He even went as far as to offer me money not to go through with
the surgery. He told me he would do anything in his power to not let me
get the surgery. So, I know exactly how you feel!!!!!! I wish they would
just leave me alone. It's tough enough trying to go through this!
— [Anonymous]
February 3, 2002
I too recieved alot of grief from some members of my family, especially my
mother, she would say, honey I can help you, lets diet together, yeah
right!! she has 35 pounds to lose and has been trying for the last5 years
to get it off, I said to her, mom, if you cant get 35 pounds off with a
diet how do you expect me to take 140 off with one? she leaves me alone
now!
— rebecca N.
February 4, 2002
If anyone is interested... I found a link to an excerpt of the article:
http://people.aol.com/people/magazine/coverstoryexcerpt/0,11369,198113,00.html
— Toni C.
February 4, 2002
My BEST FRIEND since the early 70s tried to save me from surgery! It was
tough but I told him I was doing what was best for me. About 2 months post
op he congragulated me and is now adsvocating surgery for a couple friends
and his MO daughter. Do whats best for YOU, and trt taking some of the
naysayers to a local support group meeting.
— bob-haller
February 4, 2002
I agree with Gar and was disappointed to see that People was misleading
with their headline. I realized after I got into the articles that they
were talking clothing sizes not weight. This stuff may be fine for people
who only need to lose 50 or 70 lbs and I'm sure it helps if you can get a
job as an aerobics instructor so you have time to work out all day. Me, I
have a desk job that I like and a family that I love and working out 2
hours a day is not going to cut it for me. I tried the diet train and ended
up back at the same station every time. Life after WLS is maintainable for
me. I am not hungry, I am not deprived, I am not spending all my free time
(what there is of it) working out. It has not only in effect saved my life,
it has freed me up to enjoy my life and stop worrying about my weight.
Those people will have to maintain vigilance for the rest of their days!
— ctyst
February 4, 2002
Yah...did you notice that most of these people had to pay huge amounts of
money for their treatments? Also, who knows how long the weight loss will
last?
— fropunka
February 4, 2002
When I was struggling with my own decision to have
WLS, the thing that finally brought me peace was realizing that I had spent
over HALF of my expected life struggling to lose and keep off weight. I'd
wasted HALF my life suffering from MO. I felt I deserved to have at least
the remaining half of my life free from MO. Regardless of whether "I
Should" have been able to diet off the weight, I had not been able to
do so. And I couldn't see anything that would make the second half of my
life any different, other than WLS. That realization, and the acceptance
of it, has brought me great peace about my decision. PS: My surgery is
2/7 !
— Kathy J.
February 4, 2002
When someone says why cant you just diet, I always want to say right back
at them "How long did your last diet last?, because whether your 5
pounds or 100 pounds overweight, dieting is hard and most people arent
successful.
— [Anonymous]
February 4, 2002
My best(?) friend started in on that last night again. I'm questioning her
"best friend" status. She is as big as me if not bigger. She
says "Well, I am going to have a large yard and Ill lose weight by
planting flowers" You know I hope her yard is as big as Alaska,
because it will take some major flower planting to lose 100+ pounds.
— Connie M.
February 5, 2002
My soon-to-be-ex husband tried this with the whole Jared thing at Subway,
which steamed me. As I pointed out to him, (a) yes, some people can and do
lose large amounts of weight with fad or very restrictive diets and (b)
most of them (97%) gain it back within three years, usually with some extra
to go along with it. IF Subway does follow-up on those people in the ads at
three years, five years, and ten years, and they are all still at a normal
weight, THEN I will be impressed.<p>You don't get a merit badge for
having had a hard life, and I was tired of spending half my life dieting so
that I could gain 12 lbs a year. WLS *was* the easier way out for me, and
the only thing I could see that essentially guaranteed me a normal life
without incredible restrictions.
— Julia M.
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