Question:
Has anyone had the surgury the same day as his/her spouse?

My husband and I are having the surgury on the same day a few hours apart. We will have help from our parents, but can anyone share similar experience?    — anadrama (posted on June 24, 2003)

June 23, 2003
I went first and my wife Jen had surgery months later. In case of complications. Doing it together would make eating and such easier. Jen drug me to restaurants when the most I could eat was one egg sized portion. Once jen had surgery she apologized.
   — bob-haller

June 23, 2003
Fay Bayuk and her husband had theirs at the same time. I'm sure there are others, but that's one couple I know of.
   — garw

June 23, 2003
My DH and I had surgery a few months apart, so I know I'm not helping here in that facet. Keep in mind that your husband may lose weight faster than you! I am glad that I was able to help my husband in the initial post op period -we don't have parents available to help out. He had a minor complication about 4 weeks out and I was also able to help him through that. Good luck to you both! (It's much easier to go to restaurants now that we have both had surgery - we can share an entree and take home leftovers! Seriously, though, it was harder for my husband to adjust to ordering smaller amounts of food. He still wanted to get soup and and entree. I finally convinced him we could each get soup and split an appetizer, or split an entree, but not both!) I think it will be great for both of you to go throught this together - no doubt you will keep each other on the right track!
   — koogy

June 25, 2003
My husband and I are having surgery on the same day in fact we are getting it done next Wednesday July 2nd. We felt that it would be a good idea that we would be following the same diet at the same time. We also have older children and friends who are able to help us if we need it. Good luck with your choice I know it was the right one for us.
   — Dorothy N.

June 29, 2003
I know a couple who had their surgery here in the Seattle area with very detrimental results. The wife has had extensive complications, and the husband has spent so much time caring for her that he has neglected his own health. Considering that they are both relying on his income, this is especially difficult; he really struggled to have enough energy for work and for caring for his wife as soon as he got home. I did not use this surgeon, but my surgeon thinks operating on a husband and wife pair the same day is irresponsible. One should have the surgery first (probably the one with greater co-morbs) while the other supports them through the process, keeps working, keeps the household running, etc. When the first one is completely recovered, the second one has surgery and the first partner is ready and able to care for the second. What if one partner dies in the OR or immediately after surgery? Don't you think that would severely impact the recovery of the surviving partner? I hope it's not too late for you to re-evaluate this choice. Best of luck to you if you do decide to go forward, but consider what will happen and who will help you if one or both of you have complications after surgery. It's one thing to ask parents to help for a few days, another thing entirely to need help for 6 months or more.
   — Julia Z.

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