Question:
I need to vent .... please help me understand. I had rny surgery .... lost 1/2 my
weight ... went from using wheelchairs,to canes,and now I'm walking 1-3 miles,didn't go out-to now going for my check ups at doctor,found out I had cancer,had hyst.(total) beat the cancer at christmas time. All that to say I found support with a great group of ladies at a support club meeting.(for weight loss not wls) just to be put in a category of not "like them" I did it the easy way!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry this is not easy!!!!! hmmmmmm now I feel better. Thanks — Theresa B. (posted on February 28, 2001)
February 28, 2001
I'm preop and all I have to say is that everyone in life has choices. I
feel that anyone who has those comments hasn't felt the dispair to the
level we have all felt. Going through Gastric Bypass Surgery is not the
easy way out. It is a tool to help with permanent weight loss. I don't
pretend to have the answer for anyone else. I just know what's right for
me. Doesn't sound like much support to me though, not like you get here.
— Brenda Kay U.
February 28, 2001
I understand what you're saying! When I told my daughter, who is also over
weight, I was going to have WLS that was the very first thing out of her
mouth "OH, you're taking the easy way out! Needless-to-say, it hurt
my feelings. THIS is the easy way out? ... going through surgery, not being
able to eat any/everything you want in quantities you'd like; not knowing
what foods will make you dump, not being able to eat & drink at the
same time, some people go thru being very sick for a long time, and other
complications. It's not that easy, but if they want to think that, that's
fine. I would still do this surgery. I also think that the people that are
saying that are just angry/jealous that they can't/won't do it! At least
we have to courage to do it. Don't pay any attention to those who do not
support you in this great operation!
— [Anonymous]
February 28, 2001
Theresa, the "easy way", I don't think so. But hey that's in
their heads, they are uninformed. I thought about joining a local TOPS
group and wondered if I'd be "labeled"...I guess I'd deal with it
this way: you've paid your dues in going thru what you have, take the high
road and be proud and don't let them upset you (I know that's easier said
than done).
— [Anonymous]
February 28, 2001
— Jeannie J.
February 28, 2001
Wow! The easy way out, huh? I'm still pre-op, so I have no horror
stories to tell. BUT, I would have to wonder why someone would CHOOSE NOT
to take the easy way out. Why do some people think that it 'has to hurt'
to be noble or good? My goodness, does suffering through decades of
dieting and gaining seem like an intelligent alternative to a permanent
solution to our problem? WLS is permanent, stats show that TOPS most
likely isn't.
— Laurie L.
February 28, 2001
Any time a person makes a commitment to loose weight that is a good thing
and that person should be commended. It does not matter whether you lost
it by WLS or not having WLS. The point is you lost the weight and you're
healthier for it. There are people out there who can lose weight without
surgery and keep it off. Then there are people who need WLS to lose weight
and they keep it off. Everyone has freedom of choice. No one should be
made to feel "they took the easy way out". There is no easy way.
The choice is up to you!
— A T.
February 28, 2001
I heard Oprah make that comment on her show once; that obesity surgery is
"the easy way out." She is so unaware of the big difference
between a few pounds and Morbid Obesity.
— Toni K.
February 28, 2001
"The Easy Way Out"---I find that very amusing that anyone would
refer to this as the Easy Way Out. For me this by far has been one of the
hardest things, toughest things, I have ever done....and I would do it
again in a snap!!!! It was not an easy choice to make---elective
surgery-the risks, the possible complications....It was not the easy thing
to deal with the vomiting, the 'ate too much feeling', the dumping. It is
by far not the easiest thing having to deal with social situations that
just don't work anymore....but when I wake up each morning and know I can
RUN up those subway stairs, or ROLL on the grass with my daughter, or
dance like Tina Turner----hey--it was and is all worth it. What was hard
was yo yo dieting, going to the scale after endless weeks of counting
points and finding only an ounce had dropped.....What was hard was knowing
that this time next year I would ultimately have another 10-15 lbs on top
of my current weight....and knowing I would again hear those famous words
from the doc ---diet and excercise. So I propose a toast to those whose
'dieting' works----(and a little reminder that I too still watch what I
eat!!!) and a toast to those who have never rebounded or yo-yo'd or who
have kept it off.....and a toast to Oprah who should be reminded of that
day on her show when she held up those pants----lost all the weight on
optifast or a similar thing, only to YO YO right back in public and
subjected herself to public ridicule. But the biggest toast goes to
US-----We know what we have accomplished and we are smart enough to know
that this was no little feat----no easy way out---but a life choice---a
choice to risk certain things so we can live----a Healthy Choice!!!
— Carole C.
February 28, 2001
I am impressed with Carol's response to your question or statement!!!
Carol, your answer should be framed and hung in the WLS Hall of Fame (if
there was one, lol). I totally agree with everything you said. Why are
people so miserable when they see someone having success, no matter how
they achieve it? I didn't tell my neighbors what kind of surgery I had
back in December and everytime I see them now, they first compliment me on
my weight loss, then caution me that it will probably come back
soon....what is wrong with people? I think it's that old green eyed
monster rearing it's ugly head!!!! Take all these negative people and
their negative comments with a grain of salt!
— Meryl F.
February 28, 2001
I have a friend who told me that the surgery was "cheating".
Like this is a game with rules. I think Oprah never got more than 30
pounds overweight. That is not morbid obesity. People who lose 10-20%
don't have any clue what it is to lose 50% and more which is what most of
us are facing. I signed up for a Yahoo WLS group. I was then sent an
invitation to join a ladies weight loss Yahoo group. I went to their home
page and knew immediately that it wasn't for me. I sent a reply to the
invitation explaining that my interest was primarily in the surgery and
that I didn't really want advice from people trying to lose 10 lbs. Their
little promo said it was wether you wanted to lose 10 lbs or 100. I
pointed out that I need to lose more than 100. I got a reply saying that I
was close minded (which I am a little, just been burned by these Oprah,
Weight Watchers, "oh I lost ten pounds and I know everything"
people). Then she said that she disagreed with surgery (shock) and said
"get off your duff, you can't lose weight just by clicking your
mouse" Um, excuse me, as a pre-op and a post-op I will be off my duff
because exercise has and always will be part of my life. She obviously
thinks that obesity comes from laziness. In my response I said that my
journey will include surgery as a tool and as part of a life-long
commitment and that I didn't want to be a member of any group who couldn't
support that. I never heard back. I must say though that it was an
unsolicited email. I'm sort of annoyed with Yahoo for lumping me,
apparently the term "weight loss" has been added to my profile
and people take this as an invitation to assume I'm a lazy pig. Looks like
I needed to vent a little myself. I have to say that the post-ops I've
read about here seem like some of the hardest working, most health
conscious and LEAST judgemental people out there. Not a lazy one in the
bunch. Heck, with what we have to go through for insurance alone weeds out
really lazy people. Ok, thanks for letting me join the rant.
— kcanges
March 1, 2001
"Easy Way Out" ... yeah, sure. I've communed with the white
porcelain telephone in my powder room more in the last ten months than I
have in the last twenty years. "Easy way out" -- okay.
Nine-inch scar running vertically down the middle of my abdomen.
"Easy way out" --whatever you say. Enough extra skin to make
another person and a belly apron you could use for a bookshelf. "Easy
way out" -- oh, please. A week in the hospital, three weeks at home,
six months of dizzy spells, two months of clogging my shower drain with the
handfuls of hair coming off my head. Easy, my hairy eyeball! It wasn't
easy, it was flat out COURAGEOUS -- to change our lives the way we knew it
had to be changed, to change our eating and exercise habits, to reclaim our
existence. People who say surgery is "the easy way out" have NO
idea what they're talking about. I'd travel this road again in half a
heartbeat, but there wasn't any part of it that I would call
"easy". Thanks for letting me put in my 2 cents,
— Cheryl Denomy
March 1, 2001
I am pre-op, surgery scheduled for 3/15/01 but understand how your are
feeling. I had to deal with this same issue with my Grandmother. Until last
week, she continued to beg me to try Weight Watchers or TOPS. My Aunt even
chimed in and told me how great Weight Watchers had been for her. She said
she had lost a lot of weight with them 3 different times! I laughed and
calmly explained to my Grandmother that the reason I chose WLS is because
nothing else has worked. How do these people not realize that we are all
individuals. And as such, we do not fit into the need to lose 10-30 pounds
category? I too have heard how we are just lazy/have not willpower and if
we got up and moving and pushed ourselves away from the table, our weight
problems would be over. Hold your head high. Show them that you ARE taking
control. Find yourself a good support group thru this website. God bless
you. I hope to see you on the other side.
— Ginger J.
March 4, 2001
I find it so ironic that people who haven't had the surgery seem to be
experts on how "easy" it is. I monitor this site pretty
faithfully and I haven't seen anyone who has actually HAD the surgery,
talking about it being the easy way out. For me, and I believe for many
others, it was the ONLY way that offered any hope of long term success. If
Weight Watchers, TOPS, OA, or whatever works for other folks - great.
However, I did a lot of research before deciding to have surgery and the
odds of keeping the weight off after 5 years are absolutely abysmal for any
program other than WLS. I was firmly against WLS UNTIL I did my homework -
then I decided it was my best shot at having a decent quality of life and
living long enough to see my grandchildren. I am 3 1/2 months post op and
would do it again in a heatbeat. Thanks for letting me vent with you.
— Lynn T.
March 4, 2001
"Like this is a game with rules", someone said below. BRAVO. If
it's a game, I was losing it. And my chances to roll the dice one more
time were UP. Done. The only thing "easy" about this surgery is
the fact that it WORKS. No more deprivation (though I AM paying
attention), no more starvation, no more gaining wt while living on salad
and steamed veggies. And my labs and overall health are WAY better than
before when I was constantly dieting. I am nutritionally balanced NOW.
Although I had to replace my surgery (yeah, that makes it MUCH easier),
I've now been a normal body weight longer (5+yrs) than I was morbid,
although I was certainly always obese. Is it somehow unfair that we can put
our disease into permanent remission? These answers are so heart warming!
You can see the army of us lining up behind you, right?
— vitalady
March 4, 2001
Some support group! You should be proud to be "not like them."
You've chosen a weight-loss method that works, despite pain, despite
nausea, despite knowing you'll need to supplement for the rest of your
life. Morbid obesity is a fatal disease ("morbid" means
"diseased" in medical-speak). The morbidly obese stake their
lives -- literally -- on choosing the most effective treatment for their
disease. You say you've had cancer yourself -- didn't you choose the
treatment method which had the best chance of saving your life, regardless
of whether it was "hard" or "easy?" Who wouldn't? Pat
yourself on the back for having the courage to do what you need to do. And
then go tell your uninformed "friends" why the "easy"
way is the smart way. Bravo for you!
— Linda B.
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