Question:
How do you address the issue of such rapid weight loss at the workplace?
I am a new teacher at a new school and eat lunch at the same time in the teacher's lounge with the other teachers. I am concerned that they will notice how little I will be eating and my rapid weight loss. I can easily tell them pre-op that I am having my gall bladder removed but what do you say when you're losing significant amounts of weight each month? — [Anonymous] (posted on October 22, 2001)
October 22, 2001
I felt very private about my decision to have wls. I told my coworkers I
was having some female surgery which seem to do the trick for the procedure
itself. As for my post op behavior, I just simply said that being in the
hospital made me realize more than ever that I wanted to be healthy and
live longer; therefore, I was going to completely change my eating habits.
It seemed to work. I hated not having the courage to be more forthcoming
but I just didn't feel I could. By the way, I'm down from ~230 lbs to 115
lbs. All my coworkers seem to have to say now is how good I look. Best
wishes!
— [Anonymous]
October 22, 2001
I am a teacher at a new school. Our school is very large and we only get
30 min. for lunch. By the time we drop our kids off and thru the lunch
line we only have about 15 min. Then we have to go pick them up (
elementary) So at my school there's no time you have to to "wolf"
down a super quick lunch.
Most of the teachers eat in their rooms because there is no time for
socializing. This is going to be to my advantage.
No one will see what/how much I eat, and I can simply say
I'm on a 800=900 calorie diet and I'm exercising.
At my previous school things weren't so stressful. But there were many
teachers who worked through their lunch or had kids doing make-up work etc.
and never graced us w/ their presence in the lounge. We knew they were
die-hard
teachers, too busy to eat. Maybe you can " become" one of them
and eat in your room ? God Bless
— Cindee A.
October 22, 2001
I didn't tell people at work about my exact surgery either, just because I
didn't want people watching my progress and watching what I was eating all
the time. I told my boss and a couple of friends at work, and the rest I
told that I was having a gallstone removed.(I'd had my gallbladder out 10
years ago). They did start noticing my weight loss after a couple months
(I've lost 90# in less than 6 months) and when they ask what I'm doing, I
tell them I'm eating less and exercising more (which is true!) and that I
drink a protein drink to help me keep the muscle. A few of the gals may
suspect that I had bypass surgery because I was talking about my friends
that have had it, but the only thing they've said to me has been
complimentary. They also invite me to walk with them for exercise. It
seems that everyone is always on one diet or another anyway. I'm in
outside sales and my customers have noticed, but I tell them the same
thing. However, I do openly share about the surgery to my friends at
church and to other people with weight problems. I've found that I can
pretty much eat normally, just smaller portions (soup & salad or tuna
salad is always a good choice). Good luck!
— Judy C.
October 22, 2001
I'm not a big fan of lying about the surgery. If you really don't want to
use the words "weight loss surgery" - tell them you are having
stomach surgery and leave it at that. They'll figure out anyone having
stomach surgery will have some eating and weight loss issues due to the
surgery. -Kate-
— kateseidel
October 22, 2001
I was very upfront about my surgery and the need to be off work and what
would be happening. I received nothing but support from everyone in my
department from support staff to the director. When I was struggling with
insurance, my boss even lobbied our VP for Human Resources directly on my
behalf. After being in the hospital for 4 days I came home to a beautiful
floral arrangement and a envelope stuffed with get well cards from everyone
in the department. When I returned to work, I was again pleasantly
surprised with a generous gift certificate to a major department so I could
treat myself to new clothes when the time was right. I get regular curious
and supportive emails and phone calls about how many pounds have been lost
and if my sleep apnea is improving.(the answer is 65 lbs at 2.5 mths &
yes it is:-) I also get lots of compliments on the changes, my improved
energy and general spirit. My purpose in telling the good stuff is that I
believe unless one opens themselves up to goodness, goodness can't come in.
My colleagues have been very generous, supportive and kind during my pre-op
and post-op periods. They have been as terrific as any family or close
friends could be. Perhaps openess will work with your co-workers providing
opportunities to grow, learn and educate.
— [Anonymous]
October 22, 2001
I'm worried about the same thing. I am choosing not to tell anyone about
the surgery but my immediate family. I am pre-op now and never eat in our
employee lounge anyway. I will just eat at my desk. As far as employee
parties and stuff I will just eat little amounts. Of course people will
notice but simply say "I'm just not that hungry right now."
— Angie B.
October 22, 2001
I am preop, but everyone I see knows the choice I've made to take control
of my life and improve my health. I have one desenter at work (would you
believe she weighs more than me and is also older). Everyone else has
become a cheering party. I'm often asked how things are going what knew
I've learned.
I think if you approach it as a positive health CHOICE and you understand
that you've made one of the hardest, drastically life-changing choices of
your life you should be proud. Have you ever made a decision in your life
when EVERYONE agreed. That usually only happens with easy, superficial
things. Be proud of taking control of your life and give your friends and
coworker a chance to encourage you. Some may need more information, but
the additional support could make a difference for you and for others in
the future.
— Dawn Y.
October 22, 2001
Once your loosing tell everyone. This will help advertise the surgery for
others, a friend of a friend might mention you to a needy MO person and
save their life. Besides this will stop people from speculating that you
have cancer, AIDS or other horrible disease.
— bob-haller
October 23, 2001
I understand that it is no ones business that you are having this surgery
but it would be the best for you if you were not ashamed of this WLS. I'm
not saying you are of course but maybe someone else who is reading this is.
I have not told everyone because I don't want to hear the negative. I
figure after surgery I won't care any longer and I will probably let
everyone know. Be strong for yourself and others will see that in you and
only have good things to say.
— Kelly C.
October 23, 2001
You could always tell the truth. That should make things easy
for you and you would be providing some much needed education
on the subject of wls. But, if you aren't comfortable doing that,
simple tell people that you recent had some gastrointestinal surgery
recently and you have to "watch what you eat" for a while. That
should be sufficient to explain a small appetite and a dramatic
weight loss. Most people....especially people you don't know well....
don't notice or care about what other people eat anyway and everone
in the world is on a diet. When they see you losing weight, they'll
be pleased.
— [Anonymous]
October 23, 2001
From a person that has been "burned" from one of the people
I told at work- my advise is chose wisely because as some
other poster had said "you can't UNtell the people you've
told".
The poster that said here about how wonderful all her co-workers
were- I feel envious! Unfortunetly not all of us have such
supportive people around us, and actually there are some real
creepy ones that would just as soon try to sabatoge you then
support you because of their own issues.
When I go to eat with people or to my favorite restauant I've
had people make comments and even the waitress that I have all
the time says things like "Should I bring your box now?" I
just laugh and move on to the next thing.
I have a meeting with my supervisor about once a month and
have been doing this for 2 years, when I came back from the
surgery she all of a sudden wanted to start having lunch
meetings, she watches everything I eat and makes comments
about the amount and even goes back and reports a couple of
other employees the amount of food that I took in. Needless
to say I just drink iced tea anymore since I was informed
about that. So please becareful and stand proud and do whatever
you believe is right for you. One thing about the gallbladder
thing is that you can say that you have decided that you are
going to take better care of yourself and that includes watching
what you eat and one of the benifits of that is the weight loss.
I wish the best for you and hope that things go smoothly. Best of
luck to you...
— [Anonymous]
October 23, 2001
I'm a teacher and generally a very open type person, so I told everyone
that I was having WLS. My only regrets are the constant stares and
questions coming from unconcerned people. I don't mind questions or
comments when they are sincere, but some of the people are actually waitng
to see me fail. They'll say, "I thought you couldn't eat that,"
or "How can you survive on such a small amount of food." I wore
a slimming type skirt today with my blouse inside and one of them had the
actual nerve to say, "I guess you'll get a boob job next." I
wanted to scream, "I'm not 16 and neither or you, but I can feel good
about myself." My principal has been a wonderful comfort to me. He's
told me to ignore them because they're just jealous. The teaching staff
has been wonderful and supportive, but the cafeteria ladies are giving me a
hard time.
— Tammy W.
October 23, 2001
This is a difficult subject for anyone to advise you on. You have to do
what is right for your circumstances. We don't know your circumstances.
If you were working in a supportive, nurturing, accepting, environment, I
would agree with those who said to tell everyone. Unfortunately, not all
of us are lucky enough to work in that type of atmosphere. I wish I worked
with some of those who posted below! I chose not to tell anyone I work
with about my surgery. My work environment is very competitive and my
coworkers always looking for ways to get "one up" on each other.
There is alot of discrimination against those they figure don't measure up.
Fat people don't measure up. It's easy to discriminate against fat
people. "Fat People" who take the "easy way out" are
even easier to discriminate against. I chose not to tell them and to let
them think, whatever they might think. I don't really care what they
think.
— Anne G.
October 23, 2001
I've never been ashamned about my WLS and glady shout it to the highest
hills. But everyone is different. I've only come across one person who
shook her head saying it was a big mistake. My family prefered I did'nt
have WLS, but they knew my struggles and that I had nothing else left to
try and were supportive wheb they knew I would not change my mind. I guess
I don't understand why people don't want to tell people they work with
about the WLS? But I guess you have your reasons and I hope it works out
well for you. I bet your students would be chearing for you if they knew.:)
— Danmark
October 25, 2001
I only told about 5 people that I work with what I was doing. I asked that
they not say anything untill I was on leave. Keep in mind that I work with
about 300 people. I personally feel that I do not care who knows. I just
didnt want anyone to know just in case I didnt go thru with it. I am now
willing to let everone know. I will take a couple of negative comments if
I can help one person. And apparently it is working. I am 3 weeks post op
and have yet to return to work and one of my co-workers that I really dont
know that well called me at home and said she has been thinking about doing
this for a long time and was just afraid to bring up the subject. She
asked if there was a time that we could talk so she could learn more. So
for me, I have not even returned to work and have raised awareness. I feel
that a side effect of me changing my life for the better is that I can make
other people aware of what I have done and that there is no shame in taking
care of our bodies. As my very supportive husband puts it "at least
we are doing something about our weight, instead of it doing something to
us."
— RebeccaP
October 26, 2001
I chose not to tell people I had WLS. It was my choice and I didn't feel
like I was lying to anyone when I decided not to share it with them. I was
worried that people would notice how little I eat but I learned most people
are more concerned about what they eat and don't really notice what you
eat! When they started to notice my weight loss I simply told them "I
eat less these days". I also started walking 2 miles 4-5x per week
shortly after surgery (Im up to 4 miles now) and I told everyone I was
exercising more. Nobody has pushed me for more information. Good luck!!!
— Elizabeth C.
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