Question:
No follow up makes it difficult to understand what happened

I read about passings on the message board, but don't see them on the memorial page. I see notices of passing, but no mention of cause. We need to know this in order to properly remember those who passed, but also for our own well being. Are these not posted for legal reasons?    — faybay (posted on January 18, 2002)

January 18, 2002
fay i agree. when we dont know the details it is very scary for the rest of us. we sit & wonder what the cause was & frighten ourselves with our morbid thoughts into thinking it will happen to us. selfish i know, but that is human nature. the other reason i like to know is that when i read that the persons surgery was successful, they recovered well, lost weight & they were very happy before the unfortunate death, it makes me feel better that the person had some happiness in their life, even if just for a little while. also, i think it would be good for the pre-ops to see that it isnt necessarily the surgery that was at fault. maybe the person had co-morbids that made his/her surgery particularly dangerous for THEM, & that their bodies couldnt take the strain of anethesia, surgery, & recovery. or that something totally unrelated to the surgery happened. we can only hope that these people fully understood the risk they were taking when they made the decision to have wls & ACCEPTED the FACT that something could go wrong. there is so much controversy over wls that people tend to forget that u have the same risks as any other surgery. we take our lives into our hands everyday just by driving our cars or crossing the street, but, no one conciously thinks of these things as having risks because these r our everyday activities. the way i looked at having wls was...they arent removing anything, just rearranging my insides a bit. i feel terrible when we lose a sibling. so terrible that my heart sinks. & yes, i too think...omg that can happen to me, but, would i have wls again if it were mine to do over? IN A HEARTBEAT. these last 4 weeks have been the happiest for me in many years.if (god forbid) something were to happen to me tomorrow, my husband would know that it was a decision i CHOSE to make, to take the risks, & that i was happy with what i did, even for such a short time. god rest the souls of all our siblings who have passed away. i do believe we all go to heaven & r happier there than we have ever been anywhere else.
   — sheryl titone