5 yr anniverary
My life didn't become Shangrila because I lost the weight. Still have the same husband, same marriage , job , and money issues, None of that was caused by my weight and none of it changed when the weight came off. I am profoundly different though. I don't cringe seeing my reflection in mirrors or as I pass by windows. I don't wonder when I pass a group of people if they are looking at me commenting on how big I am and what a shame it is. I don't avoid connecting with people . I remember coming through the revolving doors at work, towards the elevator and if someone was just getting on, I would pretend I was not going on the elevator , and wait for the doors to close and the elevator to leave before pressing the button. I look in the mirror now and especially this time of year, remember thinking I wish I was thin so I could wear some of those pretty Chrismas things. I have a waterbed with a mirror ceiling and I remember looking up and seeing my little head attached to this enormous body and feeling shame and guilt. Now I just see me and feel gratitude. I am not tiny but any stretch of the imagination but I am comfortable, and I still battle sugar,and compulsive overeating. I love being able to wear the clothes that have been in my closet for months, knowing they will still fit. I went back to school to get different skills, to change careers. I doubt I would have done that before. Just making the decision to have the surgery and makeing this amazing journey has given me the faith in myself and courage to try new things.
Reading my profile some things have remained the same. I still do pretty much eat the same things. I forget that my pouch still rules, and get reminded quicly when I put something new in it that it does not like.. I start every day with protein in my coffee, my breakfast. I put on about 25 pounds this last year and found a plan that I could work with and it came off within about 5 weeks. Thank you RNY! I have never eaten "properly", and didn't want to feel my food obsession with charts and diaries and calculations of calories, fats, carbs ,etc. I did learn that all of those things do matter though. I made some subtle changes from full fat to fat free things like cottage cheese, and processed cheese slices,and string cheese. And I stopped eating processed food, including fast food. That meant I had to cook That was the most difficult part. I still don't like to cook, but it is much easier than seeing and feeling those extra pounds that I pack on otherwise. I found some easy receipies that made a bunch . I try to just cook once or twice a week, and freeze it in conveinent portions to grab and take with me. I found out that frozen mixed berries with splenda under fat free cottage cheese is really good as a snack or in a crunch a meal.
I am so glad that I decided to do this 5 years ago. I don't know what the deal was with not doing it sooner, I guess everything happens in its own time. I wouldn't have had the money for the Bariatric center unless I had refinanced my house, and I did that before I went in just to "check" on the possibility of surgery. Wasn't really going to do it, just gathering some information to consider. Makes me wonder what I was "considering" anyway. The options seem pretty clear now. Stay at the weight that I was , adding more weight as time went on, hoping I didn't have a heart attack, or make a positive change to my future. I remember wondering if spending the bulk of the money from the refinancing that was intended on remodeling my house on remodeling me , was worth it. Silly me. What good was the house if I wasn't alive.
See God's track record in your journey,
decide that you will trust Him.
From one Maureen to another, I would be glad to help! The Program that I chose was called Weigh****cher Core. I didn't have much faith in it but several women in my office were using it, and they were offering a free week, so I enrolled in my free week,got the materials and cancelled. The message boards online are free for all to use.
I hadn't logged in a long time, so I went out to check the site. They no longer call the Program Core. Now they have one Program that combines what they think was the best of the two Programs they had previously Core and Flex. Flex was a program where based on your starting weight you were given a point value for foods for the day, with some extra points for activity and a few "free" foods. You could eat anything you wanted as long as you tracked in and counted it. It was very conveinent for those that ate out alot, or ate prepackaged meals, and liked tracking every bite they were eating , and it gave them the added satisfaction of seeing their progress or setbacks in print and seeing where maybe they needed to do some adjustements.
I chose the Core plan. It had a list of what were called Core foods that didn't have points attached to them and I could eat as much of as I wanted, pretty much. Then there were of course the non core foods that I could eat. I had a 35 point bank weekly for those. Couldn't borrow or carry over points so it was in your best interest to use them.The idea behind this plan was for you to learn what full felt like and be able to monitor you eating in relation to the stages of full with the Core foods and to indulge in the other things with the Core points. There were some foods that were Core like red meat, I think that were limited in portion and how many times per week that one could eat them. Also for things like rice , bread, and potatoes. There was also a list for the things that you were supposed to eat every day to balance out your diet. Truthfully, I didn't folow their program to the letter of the law.
I liked it because it gave me the freedom to eat the lean protein that I needed, and the encouragement to eat the dairy that I needed, as well as the vegetables and fruit. I tracked some, mostly to keep track of those 35 points. It made me think if something was really point worthy, sort of like if something is "dump" worthy. It made me pause and think about what I was putting in my mouth, whether it was a Core food of if I was using those precious points. I ate alot, and good stuff, and learned how to make alternative versions of stuff that I liked. I wasn't hungry. If I grazed it was on things like those fruit and vegetables that I was supposed to get into my diet but didn't. Or when I wanted something salty and crunchy, garbanzo beans , roasted in the oven with whatever spices I wanted, until they were crunchy. They are pretty good, and they were considered Core foods, so I didn't have to count them.
The negative points were that it was extremely difficult to eat out, or to eat frozen or prepackaged foods, because they had so much stuff in them that were not "Core" friendly, and would put me into the "red" with my points quick. I am not a cook and like being able to pick up a hamburger or a taco, or a frozen dinner. Desperation guided me to work outside of my comfort zone, and I was so scared that I would be right back to where I started before the surgery, because I had gotten so sloppy with eating especially with sugar and fat. I'm one of those fortunate/unfortunate (depending how you view it) RNY patients that can eat an amazing amount of sugar or fat without getting sick. I would get that sick feeling and quit then start again later till I got that sick feeling, etc. etc.
Using that plan brought structure to my eating, put a screeching halt to the sugar thing, was a strong incentive to eat my fruits and vegetables, and let me enjoy yummy things without guilt. One can graze all day and never feel hungy or full, but sitting down to a real meal , means the tool of the gastrc bypass, and a small pouch is working for you. Eating slowly and understanding when I am full is what my pouch is for. I cooked once a week and packaged it to eat all week. I brought fruit and veggies to work every day, just like I had brought my sugary, salty snacks. Because of the smaller stomach and the absorption thing, working this program brought me back to where I needed to be in 5 weeks. I have not gained it back, and I still use some of what I learned, and I know if I start straying very far, that I need to start thinking before I start chewing!
WW is not offering that particular program anymore, and if you join will strongly encourage you to follow the Momentum with the Filling Foods program, as it is their only program. They (WW) say it is a result of scientifc testing , however, I think it is more of a financial testing, to get more people in the door, which brings in more money as they purchase the new material, which is actually the old material with a new name repackedged.
If you want copies of the stuff that I printed out from then, I have them in my desk , at work. Just have to dig to find them. I would send them to you. My email is [email protected]