(for all, but especially vets) Do you go to your surgeon's support group meetings? (x-post)

At first I didn't go because it would have been AT LEAST a seven-hour drive, round trip.  But my surgeon moved.  And THEN I didn't go because I had gained weight and wanted to hide from him.  (And he doesn't yell, or scold or even look disappointed...he just says something intelligent like, "Well, at some point, your comorbidities will return and we don't know what that point is.  So every pound you gain is one step closer to the return of those problems.")

And then you feel like ****  (Well, I do.)

So, do you go...how does it help you...or are you there solely to help others? 

At this point, his meetings would be a drive of about 60-90 minutes to get there and about an hour to get home.  I'm wondering.

My surgeon's meetings are 4 hours and a motel room for one night away, so that was never an option.

My local bariatric practice that doesn't do the DS has meetings that I was required to attend (well I could have driven 4 hours and paid for a motel) before surgery. I got sick of defending the DS and listening to a bunch of RnYers complain.

Now that I am so small I should go back to the local support group at least once, just to be mean.

I get to get support and give support right here from the comfort of my own home while I drink a yummy protein hot cocoa. What can beat that?

I've only been once; it's a pretty long trip; 750 miles. It was fun and interesting. I went for fun, don't think I was there needing help or to give it, just wanted to see and meet people.

Kerry

Yes Kerry but we loved meeting you and you were in inspiration to a lot of people there. Let me know if you are ever going to be in the area for a metting. I'll be there too!

I don't go, but only because I don't drive and the meetings are usually around 7 p.m., during the week and I live 2 hours from where they are held. 

I used to go to support group meetings when I was an RNYer. I ran the support group for a while and then started a yahoo group for the doctor and ran that for several years. I did eventually stop going, much for the same reason, which was that I was gaining weight. So many people at the meetings were using me as their "inpiration" and I felt enormous pressure. I felt like I had failed not only myself, but my doctor and myself as well.  I handed my position to another RNYer who I felt had a better handle on things and I went into hiding. Eventually I turned over my yahoo group to another person to moderate and run it. I've never gone back, but occasionally will get an email or will run into one of those RNYers when I was heavier. I felt like a hypocrite having gained so much weight.  Since my revision, I have not run into any of those RNYers, but if I did I would be honest in telling them what I did to lose more weight.

As for what your doctor said, well, he's right. I think that he doesn't scold you is good practice. Has scolding really helped?  The fact that he just lays out what is going to happen with co morbidities is more sound advice and one that makes you think about it. If you feel badly it is because you know what he is saying is true. 

It sounds to me like if your drive to the meetings is doable than go and get some homegrown support. Maybe it will help keep you grounded and honest in your eating. Were I able to go to my meeting w/o having my husband drive the four hours round trip, I would go.

Warmly,
Maddie

I go to mine. Although sometimes I wonder why I go when I'm listening to some of the RNYers talk. I do think I'm helpful to some of the others so I keep going. There is a rabid group of long term very successful RNYers who are absolutely sure that there is only one way to be successful -- never ever eat bread, pasta, sugar, cola, etc. again. Work out every single day. I feel like I'm there to present another option - one of choices and moderation. Maybe I won't ever weigh 115 pounds, but I'm not going to live my life counting calories, depriving myself, and journaling every bite I eat.

My surgeon isn't present at my meetings though.

My surgeon's office is just now starting the first DS-specific support group.    It's an hour and forty minutes from me, on a week night.     I'd really like to go - and I'm hoping to attend the first one, just to help gets things rolling, as I was one of my surgeon's first DS's.   On the other hand, I am currently in dire need of an iron infusion and my energy level has deep sixed this past week.    I can barely put one foot in front of the other to make it through the work day.   The first meeting is Dec. 6 - we'll see how I feel, and how the roads are, as we're in the snow belt of the lower peninsula of Michigan around here.    How's that for a laundry list of excuses?  LOL

It's in Grand Rapids....through Grand Health Partners.   I think it's at St. Joe's.    Lisa here on the boards has more info.
Iron issues are easy to fix - I just need to get my butt in for my infusions!   I just let it go for too long.

Hey, everyone!  The wait is over!  The DS support group will debut on Wed, Dec 8 from 6 to 7 pm at the Grand Health Partners office on East Paris.    The group will be meeting the 2nd Wed of every month from 6 to 7 pm so you can put it on your calendars.  The first group will be a chance to get to know each other and to get a taste of what the group will bring in the coming months... We look forward to seeing you there!   Sharon Depcinski [email protected] Facilitator for DS support group