Almost 3 weeks post op and FRUSTRATED

I am FRUSTRATED ! I am almost 3 weeks post-op.  I had the surgery done in Mexico. I flew home a week after surgery.  I am still really sore from the incision sites. I can get almost  60oz of fluid in me.
Trying to get my protien in is another issue. 

My husband tries to be supportive.  For the most part he is.  He tells me last night though that I look bad. I have black circles under my eyes and that I have a low pain tolerance. I wanted to slap him.  He immediately wanted to take his words back. I have not taken pain meds since my second day post-op and that was by my choosing.  He has no clue what I feel like or what my tolerance is.  I have given birth to 5 kids for God's sake.   I don't moan, I try not to grimmace, I just buck up and deal with it.  However my feelings are so hurt.  My teenager looks at me and asks me if I am in pain.  When I buck up and tell him no, he tells me he can tell that  I am not telling the truth.  I don't want to tell him that If I confess to being in pain hubby will think I am an even bigger baby.

I have trouble eating enough without going over my limit. Drinking enough to keep me hydrated.  My incision sites hurt. To top it off I have hemmoroids popping out of my ass.  (There now the truth is known) I am not nauseous, I am just  hurt.

This is the only venue where I can talk about it and know that a few of you have been there. 

I know this is one day at a time as far as surgery goes. I will have good days and bad ones.  I am just trying to keep my head above water and as time goes on I know that this too shall pass. I just wish this phase would pass a little quicker.

anyone have any suggestions besides shut my mouth and not say a word?

Take your pain meds.  There is no reason to be in so much pain.  It is compromising your healing probably.

If you are in less pain, you will be able to move more and drink more.

~Becky

Tell your husband when he gives birth to 5 children and has this surgery, then he will be qualified to discuss pain levels. Until then tell him to either be supportive, or be quiet. You have just gone thru major surgery. It is time for them to take care of you. I was just told in my psych visit today, now is the time for us to put ourselves first, or we won't be around to put others first later. Take your pain meds if you need them, and let your family take care of you for a change, so you will be able to take care of them later.

Beth

1)  Take your pain meds.  Why are you not taking them???  Being in pain is not noble and it won't get you to heaven any faster.     That's what they are there for.   Pain begets pain.   Hell, at the least, they'll make you not CARE about how miserable you feel.
2)  Don't worry so much about food - make sure you get your fluids.   Don't worry about limits...worry about what  makes your tummy feel good right now.   If it's a few spoonfuls of  yogurt or mashed potatoes or liverwurst, or WHATEVER, enjoy it.
3)  Get moving.   Once properly medicated, you NEED to be up and moving around.   The body is meant to move, and it will heal faster.   
4)  If your husband thinks you're a baby **** him.   Not literally.  
5)  Yes, it is one day at a time, and I do feel that a positive attitude helps.   One day, you're going to wake up, say to yourself, "You know what self?  I don't feel quite as ****ty as I did yesterday."  And the next day, you might feel even that much less ****ty, until one day, you realize - "Wow - I feel pretty good!"     I had to go back to work at 2.5 weeks out.  I didn't have much choice, so I just kind of sucked it up and did it, and I think then, I didn't have time to think on my cir****tances so much.   I'm not saying that's for everyone, and I'm not saying I deserve a medal for it, but it's what I had to do.

Good luck, hun.  This too shall pass.

Whatever you do, DO NOT shut your mouth!  Screw him if he thinks you're a sissy!  If you're in pain, take the pain medicine.  The less pain you're in, the better you'll feel, the easier you can get your walking in, the more you can eat/drink, and the more you'll be able to handle your husband and kids.  Also, use some preparation H for your butt.  That has GOT to hurt!  Let your husband handle the kids.  They're HIS kids too, remember?  It's tough to recover in the first place.  The last thing you need to be doing is taking care of them too.  JMHO.

TAKE YOUR "PAIN MEDS" !

That doesn't make you a baby to do so; it makes you SMART and will ease the pain!

I was told even BEFORE I had my DS...ASK FOR PAIN MEDS...and believe you me...I DID! I have a HIGH tolerance of pain, but uhhhhhh...WHY SUFFER if ya don't have to???

You aren't doing your 'healing' process any good either, what with being in pain, irritated and downright NOT FEELING WELL...At least with the pain meds, your body will be able to concentrate on HEALING rather than concentrating on your other 'anxieties'. Do it for YOU! You deserve THIS TIME. YOU ARE NOT A BABY if you do ! !

ETA: Tucks Ointment (formerly known as Anusol) is WONDERFUL for the hemmoroids (sp?)...Can we say, "Ahhhhhhhhhh !" It has a numbing agent in it and eleviates much (if not all) of the pain temporarily. Good luck with your PAINLESS 'healing'!

 There are no awards given to people who are "tough" and not take their pain medicine. They are there for you because you just had MAJOR surgery. Would he take pain meds if he had a tooth pulled? I'm guessing YES. I can give guys a little slack because half the time they don't think before speaking, but when it comes to hurting your feelings while you are suffering in pain, they need to step the hell up and show some compassion.

You say he has no clue what you feel like, sit him down and tell him exactly how you are feeling! Pretend you are talking to a toddler, that might help.

Good luck!

Jules

You ladies are right. I just popped a hydrocodone in my mouth .

I laughed about pretending I was talking to a toddler.  

Thank you so  much !


Princess Tammy the not so Valient!

 Good for you! I hope you can relax and put your feet up for awhile, the best you can with 5 kids!

we are all so different, if you need pain meds, then take them.  some have a significant amount of pain, others virtually none, that is what makes us different.  it is difficult to recover when you are in pain and with 5 kids oh my gosh.  I hope you find some relief very soon....