A man's POV RE: Take my husband post

As you've mentioned G, this is a place where people can feel free to voice their own opinions without fear of judgement... that leads me to believe that these ladies are entitled to have their opinion about their husbands...is it true that all men are that way? No, I for one have a very supportive husband...but like all relationships...there will be times where they get on each others nerves...there'll be a lack of support or just plain cruelty. I'm lucky that my husband is such a loving and supportive guy...but he isn't very romantic (his brain is too involved with his computer if you ask me ) and there are times where his off the wall sense of humor just annoys the crap out of me. But, my ability to be sensitive to what he thinks are innocent comments or actions drive him nuts. So, as you know, it's all give and take and hopefully it's an equal amount on both sides. I think these women were just 'feeling' for each other and it helped the poster feel like she wasn't alone in her plight. So, on your part...maybe taking a different point of view might lessen what you feel is unfair. As a woman...I know that it's hard to see the other point of view..that being a man's point of view as I'm sure as a man, it must be hard for you to see a woman's point of view. I agree that just plain support is all Joan wanted, but sometimes a persons need to vent just happens..so a little forgiveness is needed here for them. Take care G and have a lovely day. Cathy

I am not trying to take away anyone's right to an opinion. I am trying to point out that, to me, there was a viciousness to many of the posts that seemed designed to belittle and to hurt. I wonder, Cathy, would you have written the what you did above if a post and replies generalized all women to be nags, or too emotional or whatever insulting thing you could come up with. I personally wouldn't tolerate mean-spirited talk, be it toward women or men.

Com' on Gene! Smile a little! According to your profile, I see you're a "cheese head". We were just "funning". Didn't you laugh even a little bit? We are a big happy family here and since you're our "brother" you have to take a little teasing! I am sorry for hurting your feelings but all this will pass! Have a great week! Catherine

Just couldn't resist adding my 2 pennies. The fact is we usually all jump on the "bash wagon". It doesn't matter if it is a husband, friend, mother, neighbor...we get upset when there is no support. I read your profile and you mention your supportive wife. If you came on here and said she said you weren't loosing enough weight for the money, we would all say things to cheer you up. Please don't think women are mean or dangerous (only worry if we start wearing matching camos) We just want anyone on here to know WE support them 150%.

Gene, You happened in on a weird day for the forum because man bashing is pretty rare in here - especially considering the ratio of women to men. Please don't let one "my husband just sucks" post turn you off, ok? That said, when I read the post you mentioned I wanted to reach through the internet and smack the offending husband on the back of the head! There are some things that just demand a bash and the posted comment was definitely one of them. That does NOT mean all men are bashworthy. I've been with my hubby for 11 years and I cannot remember a single time he has ever said anything bashworthy. I consider myself pretty darn lucky in that department! Kiera Banded: 28 April 03 Started over 15 July @ 265: -22# (243) today, only 23# more to go for my milestone goal of 220.

Kiera, first, love the new pic. Second, I have been reading posts daily for about 6 weeks. I know it "bashing" doesn't happen often. Furthermore, I felt very badly for Cheryl and imagine those comments to be extremely hurtful. It always seems more painful when coming from someone you love. But if you read the posts, to me they seemed to get more meanspirited as one reply after another was posted. I find it interesting that our society has made strides to be sensitive to ridding our culture of all sorts of gross generalizations but look at the defense being used to justify why my POV of what was said was not quite right, or that I don't understand others' experiences, etc. Sounds like a bunch of justification for unacceptable comments to me.

Thank you for the compliment. I love that picture, which is NOT something I have been able to say about a picture of*me* in quite some time! You are totally right about the snowball effect of that thread. But I think part of what you are seeing there is how deeply many of us take these sorts of stupid comments from our loved ones. (not to excuse it, just to explain) Our weight and our relationships are often twisted up in complicated ways. Sometimes it is WAYY TOO EASY to let the inner b!^@# out for a little bashing from time to time. Kiera Banded: 28 April 03 Started over 15 July @ 265: -22# (243) today, only 23# more to go for my milestone goal of 220.

Gene well said. You sound like a great guy. I am happy to have you on this board. Well is too early for that but CHEERS.

He DOES sound like a great guy. Catherine

Gene; I am sure I wasn't bashing all men. Just because it took me THREE marriages to find a good one doesn't make the entire species bad. Her description of her hubby was so like my ex, that I relived those hurtful words all over again. This journey we are on is a change in our thinking. Each of us has to put our SELF first, for this to be a true success. And that is simply not the nature of most women. We are caretakers. So to have a little fun when one of us is down can be quite helpful. Angry posts distress me. When someone is hurting or frustrated - then I will add my two bits to do what I can to lighten their day. That's just me. Chelle