being around "normal eaters"

my husband tries to eat when I'm busy doing something else, like watching a favorite show or here online.  he's wonderful.  but, during the times that we end up eating at the same time, i don't feel bad that he can eat all that stuff and i can't.  and i don't tell him not to eat that in the house or not to eat that in front of me.  i'm the one with the food problem, not him.  i am not going to put other people in a position to feel guilty about eating normally and pity for me cuz i can't.  i made this decision to have this surgery and i have to suck it up.  when it's time to feed baby, sometimes he'll do it, but sometimes i will too.  it's hard but it's not her fault, or my hubby's either.  i don't think it's fair to put others on a diet cuz i'm fat. 

however, i do think it's nice when others take it upon themselves to eat elsewhere or when i'm not home or when i'm busy.  now what he doesn't do is make me cook for him, not right now anyway, and that i completely appreciate.  sometimes, however, i still make him his homemade burger or something of the sort and i'm ok with it.  to me, putting restrictions on others because of MY problems is just dumb... that would be like an alcoholic walking into a party and telling everyone there they can't drink cuz he/she will be tempted.

getting used to others eating the way they do and us vsg'ers eating the way we do is just part of life, the sooner we surround ourselves with "normal" eating people the easier it will get for us in the long run.  we can't hide away forever, and we shouldn't make others feel guilt or pity.  but that's just my opinion.

Your attitude is fabulous.  You think about others and not yourself all the time!  And you have a wonderful husband, too.  I live alone, so I don't have the same problem many folks do, but I do eat out with friends.  Once I was a month out and could have solid food, I went ahead out with anyone who wanted to.  At first they kept saying, "Where can you eat?"  And I made a point of saying that I could eat anywhere; there is always something on the menu for me.  Now we just go!  The difference is that I'm done in about five minutes (yes yes, I eat too fast!), and they are still stuffing mounds of food in their faces half an hour later, HA!  It really grosses me out to see all the food most people put away ... and realize that a year ago that was me.  Ugh!            --Dorothy

why, thank you, Dorothy.

I go out a lot for dinner and lunches socially and with my job, plus we entertain a lot too.  Watching people eat now is generally pretty gross!  But other than being glad I no longer feel compelled to stuff my face like a little piggy-wiggy, I just enjoy the company and it doesn't bother me :)
   

Seeing people eat/over eat to me is kind of gross now too. Like WOW I used to take in all that. lol

Of course I dont expect anyone to change for me. Yes, I have the problem. However using the alcoholic as the example as you did - he should not being going to parties in early recovery, and I should not be going to buffets. When it comes to within my home - same thing....Im not goin to grab a beer if my friend in recovery comes over. Not cool. But people who dont have a problem, dont understand how someone can be "triggered." My friends talk about food ALOT. I listen for a minute and if it bothers me or I cant leave I say "hey, lets talk about something else." They dont mind. Im not being rude. Im taking care of myself. It wont be like this forever, but the beginning is hard.

Just a comment..not a blast at you. I think its great your husband cooks for himself while your going through this change!

First I applaud you for a super attitude.  I feel exactly as you do, and the less attention I call to myself in "eating" situations is going to be when I feel the happiest.

Secondly, my friend just had a VSG a couple months ago and she said the same thing as the other posters, "I can't believe how much people eat!."  That's a little wierd, but apparently very true.

Blessings to all.

I agree tha****ching others eat now turns my stomach, even if they're mannered eaters.  I can imagine how that much food would make me feel now and it makes me nauseous. 

You do have a great attitude about others around you and making them feel comfortable.  In a family, it really shouldn't be the "all about me" attitude.  The children and hubby need to eat too!  I'm blessed that my husband works from a home office and can and likes to get dinner ready when I come home.  Just last night he did steaks on the grill which normally I would have jumped all over but I haven't ventured to steak yet.  It just doesnt' appeal to me and my surgeon just said maybe go there at 6 months and stick to softer meats now.  My hubby forgot that so was a little disappointed but I was totally content with my cottage cheese (and very full).  He can now slice up my steak for a salad for lunch today! 

Great attitude, and great job!

first two or three weeks just the SMELL of food turned my stomach...now, at 6 weeks, i dont mind at all...wife had vsg 18 months ago, so we dont cook alot in our house...much to my teenagers chagrin...she once said "mom doesnt cook anymore, and now you...this isnt gonna work for me!"...i gently pointed her in the direction of the kitchen...