OT - The other 4 letter C word

Okay sorry this is off topic but Ive mentioned it before and I need to vent. That C*** that lives next to my rental is at it again. She always puts her garbage cans on my property, up against my house (city living...close houses). When I first bought the house I moved them to her property as a nice, subtle way of saying "hey, I bought the house and would like these not on my property." Didnt work. I figured I would leave it alone its not a huge deal. However when the city inspector came I asked if she could move them because he was coming.

The other day I put a box spring on the side of MY house on MY property. Do you know they had the audacity to move it to the other side of my house, as if Im not allowed to set MY garbage on MY property until garbage day? I was so mad I moved all her garbage cans back to her side of the property line...along with her kids toys....a bike...a hose.

Final straw - she told my tenant that the house is unsafe and couldnt pass code. That no one should be living there and the city doesnt know its a rental. All lies. And I would ignore her but a completely seperate tenant, from a completely seperate house called and told me this! Because the tenant is friends with another one of my tenants. So now her gossip has gone too far. Shes also the sister of one of my other tenants...so you see this one woman has a lot of connections to my houses and its so random and coincidental.

But I handled it well. I ignored it for awhile because I didnt wanna play her game. But today I called and told her I know she called the cops and I know she is talking behind my back and it needs to stop. She acted all surprised and said it was news to her. Whatever. I try to avoid conflicts because then sometimes people start a war, but I figure Ive been so nice to her and shes doing this anyways I might as well be assertive and stop being so damn nice all the time if it isnt getting me anywhere.

And to relate this to WLS and food and all that - people think people change after losing weight. For me its like....I always am too nice, too giving, and too forgiving. You start to get burned out when people do crappy stuff like this. So as I stop doing this its a part of growth and change that doesnt have to do with weight loss. The weight loss has to do with this change. I continue growing inside and that helps me shrink on the outside.

After I talked to her I grabbed my lunch and started to eat - I wasnt hungry. I stopped myself and said "No Kelly, we're not doing this." I put it down, simple as that. My overniceness lead me to eating in the past because I had all these bad feelings following it.

Peace. Im done. Thanks for letting me drop this here so I can let it go.

She sounds like a piece of work.  I would threaten legal action against her.  If she is telling your tenants your housing is unsafe, that is illegal and you can claim damages against her if your tenant moves out. Sometimes pushing back is the best way to go.  As they say - Good Fences make Good Neighbors!

Congrats on putting your lunch away too - Nice Move!!! Feels good doesn't it!! 

And I really liked what you wrote - I continue growing on the inside and that helps me shrink on the outside.  Niiiiiiice!

Sorry your tenant is a real ***** :/ You sound like you're making some nice emotional progress, though : )

I want to thank you for posting this.  I just quit my job because my assistant was badmouthing me and making my work life hell.  Instead of getting her replaced and affect her livelihood, I quit and removed myself from the drama.  Now I'm having trouble finding a job and feeling sick to my stomach about it.
I've been having a late night snack of beef jerky every night and since I record it and see it, I can't deny it (and yet I still do it-why!!!)

Now I found out that she's saying I got fired and it just makes me feel more angry at myself because I should have been the b**** and got her ass fired! (sorry about the rant)

I think I was too nice and giving to the detrement to myself.  I need to stand up for myself and will have to chalk this one up to another life lesson.

Thanks for helping me feel not so alone.

No problem! Glad you posted.

 For the record - I think being nice is always best - it's ok to let minor things go - part of being a civilized, charming person.  When you heard things that were damaging, you did the right thing to address it with her.  No reason to get aggressive with neighbors or anyone else - it usually just turns into wars....so don't think you are a wimp.  If you do need to tell her something has upset you, then you should clear it with her, preferably in person and in a calm respectful manner - take the approach that you assume the best of her and that it is false gossip....it's the high road and always works best.  In my opinion....it's the best way to encounter potential conflicts whether someone is fat or thin, female or male, young or old, your authority or subordinate.

Kell if she steps foot on your property and touches your property it is trespassing. I don't know about you but noone touches my trash damn it.  I would go sun bath at the property joking

I am glad you did not eat your lunch due to stress. Baby steps

Good point...I suppose if its on my property...that makes it mine? Those garbage cans are about $20 each...I could use them elsewhere! lol jk ;)

Oh my go****'d be HILARIOUS if you put signs on her garbage cans and bike and whatever else that says "for sale" and put a price.....I would think if the cops got called on that...they'd be like.."hey lady, don't put your stuff on someone else's property"

You know people do change because before you might have internalized this a little longer and eaten your way out of the frustration but now you're standing up for yourself and demanding some respect.

I'm with the other poster, if she keeps putting her stuff on YOUR property it is trespassing and you should let her know that it won't be tolerated any further.

Good for you and GREAT for you stopping when you saw you were about to eat.

Ms Shell