popping in to say Hello

Marsha F.
on 5/31/11 3:20 am
Hey everyone, I am still here.  I look everyday but do not post like I used too.  I am very ashamed of myself, and do not have the balls to tell anyone till now.  I have let myself go and just can't seem to get my **** together.

For the last 2 years I have had alot to deal with, and turned to food to help me through.  I know I am well over 1 cup of food per meal and my choices are not great either.  I have said more times than we can count how I was starting over, today is the day, and what not well that never happened.  I have gained weight back.  I went from 300 lbs to 164 and now back to 184.  I just can't believe I let myself get away with it. 

We took our boys on a vacation this past weekend and did lots of walking this kinda gave me the jumpstart I needed.  I didn't eat like a pig while I was gone and drank lots of water.  Today so far I have been doing good at home as well.  I have seen such a change in the shape of my face and belly and it is not good.  My pants from last year are a little snug and that sucks.  I refuse to buy bigger sizes so if that means I need to diet than that's what it means. 

For all of you, DO NOT try to eat something if you are not to eat it.  The farther out you are the harder it gets to stay on track. I am hoping that this is a wake up call for me.  I would post a picture but can't get myself to do it. 

I am hoping, and praying that I am done with the excuses, and try to get myself back to where I should be.  In my little world I thought this would be easy WRONG...................Thanks for letting me vent a little...........Anyone in Hutchinson that would like to walk let me know.......................

Marsha
 
ShootersGal24
on 5/31/11 3:45 am - South St. Paul, MN

   HI Marsha!!!!


First off - you keep coming back - that is GOOD!!!

Second - don't keep beating yourself up - it is a forever challenge for us.  We are all faced with our demons, some do much better than others.  Don't give up on YOU - I won't!!

Many hugs to you - and be proud, you are still down well over 100 pounds lady!!!!

I am only 14 1/2 months out and already find that some of the food choices I make are tough!!  Scares the hell right out of me!

Keep your chin up and keep coming back here, we are here to help, NOT PASS JUDGEMENT!!!

Much love your way girlie!

Kelly

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nikkii76
on 5/31/11 6:56 am - Eden Prairie, MN
Well it looks like we are in the same boat, I gained as well, I blame the winter but it was also allot of stress during those months. Kids, finances, grandpa moving in, school. When I realized it I came right back here and so far I have been doing much better.

Were are all here for you! You can do it. I know I can,

   ~~ Nikkii76 ~~

    
Darla S.
on 6/1/11 12:12 am - Maple Grove, MN
My dearest, SWEET Marsha... 

We all get down on ourselves, but girlfriend - you take the prize!  You've gained 20 pounds?  That sucks.  But you've kept over 115 OFF - THAT'S AWESOME!  NEVER, EVER lose sight of how far you have come! 

Does a regain of 20 pounds make you a failure?  Hell no - according to WLS statistics, that makes you NORMAL.  Remember how exciting it was, once the fat started to disappear, when you actually FELT "normal"???  I know I do! 

I've gained back almost 20 from my lowest weight myself.  And yes, it sucks, and yes, my smallest sizes are tighter than I'd like them to be, thus giving me more of a muffin top than I'd care to sport.  But I've managed to keep 150# off, and I REFUSE to ignore that.  I know I have my tool, and I know it's up to me to respect and USE my tool if I want to shave more weight off (which, of course, I DO!).  I KNOW I CAN DO IT - AND I KNOW YOU CAN, TOO.

My point here is, you've had more than your fair share of stress.  You have a history of using food to deal with stress, so it's really no surprise that it has played something of a role yet again.  Sucks, but - it is what it is.  You know I've dealt with plenty myself, and if I've learned one thing, it's that I, too, am a stress eater. 

That's why support is so vital to our success.  To keep us mindful, to keep us encouraged, to be understood when we struggle.

I love you, Marsha.  Be a little kinder to yourself, or I may have to march out to Hutch and kick you in the ass. 

   


  Imperfect does not = unsuccessful

rjsams
on 6/3/11 12:11 am - Eagan, MN
NEVER, NEVER be ashamed to come back here and talk to us.  We have all dealt with the same demons you are, and we all still do!  You've come a long way from where you began, and you have the strength to do it again!  Hang in there!!
        
(deactivated member)
on 6/3/11 1:15 am
Welcome Back!!

I TOTALLY agree with everyone else.  Gaining 20 does not make you a failure.  You are still successful and should still be proud of that! 

I too gained back about 20 a year of so back.  I just got back down to my "normal" of 160 a couple months ago. 

We are here to support not judge, so post away.  Let us help you.

(((HUGS)))

Connie D.
on 6/4/11 6:02 am
Hello my dear Marsha...how wonderful to see you here today!!!

I sure have missed you!!

I am still struggling too...about 20 pounds.....I figure maybe this is where I am supposed to be. I am not happy about it but  I am tired of beating myself up about it. If I lose it fine...if not oh well.

Be good to yourself......I love you and miss you.....connie d
Colleen W.
on 6/9/11 8:40 am - Burnsville, MN
Hi,
It has been quite a while since I've been on here as well.  I am coming back because of the support and encouragement the wonderful people on here offer!  I have missed you!

Marsha I too have gained about 25 pounds from where I was happiest.  I've lost three pounds this week by just going back to the basics.  Water, water, water, protein first, no drinking 30 min before, during a meal or 30 minutes after a meal.  I've been really good about cutting out my snacks.  Oh and I started exercising.  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!  Just go back to the basics!

Looking forward to keeping in touch with my OH new and old friends!

Colleen
AmyCorean
on 6/22/11 10:58 am - Northfield, MN
Hi Marsha,

I totally understand where you are coming from.  I too have gained about 20 pounds from where I feel is a good place for me.  I just went to PNC for my 4 year check up and the bariatric MD told me the same thing that others have said to you.  Keep in mind where you started and also that you have kept of over 100 pounds that you lost. 

I am going back to the basics too. I have gotten away from them and I need to get back to what worked from the get-go!  Don't be too hard on yourself.  I am trying to be nicer to myself as well and remember what a great thing I did for me.  You can do it!  Sounds like you have a good start to getting back on the track you want to be on.

I have come back here to get the support and to re-connect with some great OH friends I have lost contact with.   This is the best place to be to find support from people that know where you are coming from!

 
Amy

Highest.....301   Surgery.....289    Lowest.....158   Regain.....203   Goal.....163    Current.....203

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