Blues
on 7/7/08 12:22 am
When I was first banded, I was depressed due to the loss of my good friend food. I got some bumps in the road which was good practice for dealing with adversity without a 10 pound weight gain (or any weight gain, go figure).
Now I'm stuck stuck stuck. My Uncle will pass soon (he has a terminal illness) and my father is looking at congestive heart failure. Now I am blessed to be able to come to Oklahoma and help them through it but there is a part of me that wishes I'd stayed in Dallas and not had to see the day to day.
I find sadness to be the hardest emotion to deal with regarding food. Real stress tightens me up, but sadness just cries out for something like ice cream....Stress is also easy to divert, you just do something else that takes your mind off of it. Sadness I think has to be experienced or it just stays around forever.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful not to be gaining any weight, but I'd like to continue to lose. Maybe I feel guilty for having a future to look forward to? Guilt is one of those nasty emotions too.
Anyway, what do you do when you are sad (besides eat).


190 lbs lost
VSG 07/2008
lower body lift 10/2010
upper body lift 11/2011
Deb, you know how to get in touch with me if you need to or want to. We should have gone and found something to do this weekend like we talked about. I am sorry you are down today, I too would give you a big ((hug)). Hugs always make things seem better even if it is just for the moment.
Look at all the good there is in your life, your father and uncle are still with you and you are spending value time with them that you will be glad about later down the line. Also, I know you have animals that you love and a mother that cares for you dearly. You also have your health. Give thanks for all that is good and ask God to take care of the rest.
I'd like to share a poem that I came across long ago, (I will insert your name).
Broken Dreams
As children bring their broken toys,
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God,
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him,
In peace to work alone, I hung around and tried to help, With ways that were my own. At last I snatched them back and cried, "How could you be so slow?" "Debra" He said, "What could I do? You never did let go." I hope this helps, even just one little *****in up my friend, we will be motorcycling soon! Joni
on 7/7/08 3:15 am
You guys are the best.
I slapped on the sunscreen (the smell always makes me think of vacation) and went out and rode my lawn mower. (My bike doesn't come home till Wednesday and I'm trying not to ride it till AFTER I take the safety class...LOL, we'll see how that goes). Then I got my weedwacker out and worked on my edging technique, which is getting better but I have some masterful people in the neighborhood so I'm not up to par yet.
I had an insight I'd like to share. Lately I've been not doing things that I know would make me feel better because "it won't change anything", which is depressed thinking in a nutshell. It is also obese thinking-why eat an orange instead of a candy bar, one orange won't change anything...." Now, I've gotten pretty good at eating the orange anyway (I don't eat oranges by the way, that's an example) and it's adding up to mean more good things than bad things ingested. Maybe life is like that too-we need to reach out for every good thing, no matter how small, and at the end of the day or the life, we'll have more good than bad.
Actual death and illness has never really frightened me and I do feel lucky on many levels to be able to share this time with my family. I just have to remember to keep one foot planted in my own life too.
Oh, I am seeing a counselor on a regular basis to get through all this. I'm a big believer in counseling any time you get something you aren't sure how to deal with.