why do people assume

 Well i am finally on my way to RNY surgery with my oreintation class now over ...very informative but most of the info i already knew as i have been thinking of this for 2 years now...At first i wasn't going to tell my sister (the only family i have left besides my children) about what i was doing but i was so excited that i thought why not? What a mistake. She assumes that the reason i am "obese" or as she like to say "the way i am" is because i overeat. Why is that the automatic answer for everyone? I actually don't overeat but will admit that i do eat the wrong foods. I just let it slide with her . I shouldn't have to defend myself . We both have food issues but at polar opposites. My sister was bulimic/anerexia when she was 12yrs old  and i'm obese. She then actually said that she doesn't know any of this stuff (RNY) and the way she said it,  i felt like she doesn't want to know so i told her that i will not be telling her anymore about my journey. I am just upset that my only sister thinks that what i am doing is a cope out and that all i should do is exercise more and eat less. Like i haven't tried Einstein! I am sorry i just needed to vent to people who do understand. 

Obviously with her having the opposite thoughts about food choices than you she can never fully understand why you have chosen this path.
I hope she comes around, maybe after the surgery she will see how healthy and happy you are.

I had the same reaction by my brother, we are really tight and he thought I should just try another diet.  His wife put him on a diet and he lost 70lbs. good for him, but looks to me like he's put about 30 back on. So my point is: it doesn't work for everyone (The hard way as he put it).

long answer short: Big hug for you, it's a bummer about your sister. You're right to keep your explanations/thoughts to yourself, if she wants to know she will ask.

We are  here for you.

congrats and best wishes

J

um... sorry hun, but if you quaify for RNY I think its probably pretty realisitic to say that there is overeating involved there, not just eating the wrong types of food.

Many people think that obese people just need to stop eating. This is horse **** There is a lot more involved. She should know....should a person who is anorexic just eat a burger and everything will be o.k. 

too true, TNB. Just eat a sammich for gosh sake.. lol

also about the over eating. I bet if you wrote everything down that you eat, you'd realize that you are, in fact, over eating. It's so easy to forget about those two pieces of cake that you scarfed down during commercials.

o.k. Monica stop watching commercials lol!!!!

that's the secret!!! i knew it!!

I don't think that is a fair assumption. I average 150-200 calories less per day than is recommended for my height/weight/activity level yet gain weight due to medications and a broken metabolism. You can't say there isn't some similar cir****tance for the poster.

There are very few people who are not, or never have been, obese, who understand the need for this surgery.

Don't try to defend yourself. you won't convince anyone who doesn't already understand.

I didnt tell that many people until i had my surgery date booked. I just didnt want to deal with the negative energy. Most people knew nothing until after i had the surgery, just my family, close friends, and immediate co-workers.

It is tough to ignor the nay sayers. Believe me they are always out there. You are doing this for you and not them, so be proud of your choice and journey. They will likely be the same people that are jealous once you start losing the weight too.

I chose not to tell people that I thought would be negative and that helped for the most part. Now that I have lost a noticable amount of weight I am more open, but there are those that I tell - high protein, no carbs and excercise is my secret to weight loss. All statements are true.

This surgery is DEFINITELY not the easy way out. It is hard work and dedication.

I am surprised when I do tell people when they say 'Oh I know someone who had that' or 'My aunt had that done' and the conversation moves on.

Things will get better.

Best of luck on your journey,

Kristie

 Thanks everyone for your comments..i was angry and upset at the time but this kind of stuff happens frequently with my sister (but i thought she would be supprotive to listen at least)..i feel much better now...  i have overeaten in the past  to say i haven't would be lying but for the last year i've really cut down..it's just the assumption that "you must eat a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread for breakfast" that irritates me...i can honestly say i have never had that for breakfast... Thanks all!! Keep smiling an enjoy your life!