I just can't picture it!!!

I am scheduled for surgery on March 17, 2011 (St. Patrick's Day) and while I'm doing this surgery for the health of it... I can't help think how exciting it will be to actually be thin(ner). I have been heavy my entire life so I have no idea what I would even look like thin. Even when I was born, the doctor told my mom she had herself a football player.......... then he saw that I was a girl. 
 
I've always heard "you have such a pretty face" and now I keep thinking "what if I don't when I'm thin'? What will I look like with collar bones? And only about a million other thoughts that keep coming...I am constantly trying to picture myself skinny and for the love of God... I CANNOT picture it!!!!!!!!!!  I see people's before and after pictures and some of them look like 2 totally different people. I often wonder if people would recognize me as a thin person if I haven't seen them in awhile. I know some people used to be thin and want to get back to what they weighed before they got married, etc..... but I've never experienced the normal "high school weight" or "wedding day weight".... 

Again, I am doing this surgery because most of all, I want to be healthy. The other things are just an add bonus to me. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to it.

Did/does anyone else ever feel this way or go through this???

Yes, yes, yes!  I am almost three weeks out and I notice the weight loss in my abdomen but other people are seeing it in my face, through my jaw mostly.  I am excited to go shopping next fall for sweaters and jeans and stuff but I am nervous about the shape I will be, how will jeans fit over my stomach, will I have to buy shirts a bigger size because of the excess skin on my upper arms?  It is exciting but scary at the same time.  I, too, have never been thin.  My lowest was when I was 15 and I was a size 16.  So I understand.  I guess we are in this together.  

Yes, I'm right there with you! I've never been thin so I cannot picture what I'm going to look like when I'm thin! I'm soooo excited about it, though! I also don't have any fashion "style". My norm is comfy pants and a sweatshirt. So I've also wondered what my "style" will be. This is a VERY EXCITING journey we're on!!! Good luck with your upcoming surgery!

Thanks guys! I'm glad I'm not the only one. How are you both feeling after your surgery? Any words of wisdom/advice???

Yup, it's normal.   And at least you're honest.  Most of us I think have the surgery for health reasons, but we'd be lying if we said we don't want to look better as well.  What I notice is how much bigger my eyes look.   It's the first thing I notice about a lot of people in the before & after photos.

I've been out and had people I know look right through me and not realize it's me until I say something to them.  They tell me all the time they've seen my photos on Facebook and didn't recognize me there either.   It doesn't help that I've been experimenting a lot with my hair too and I think that changes my appearance a lot from day to day as well.

I just had my 50th birthday bash Friday night and a lot of people haven't seen me since before the surgery and were stunned.   It's funny how people will say "OMG, you look great....NOT that you didn't look great before" and then they start back pedaling.  I smile and say "it's ok, it's a big change, I get it."  I'm also pretty quick to add that the weight loss is intentional and I feel great, I'm not sick.  I have a good friend who said she's always afraid to say anything to someone who has lost weight because she never wants them to feel like they didn't look good before.   I told her you typically can't go wrong saying to anyone "have you lost weight?".   

What's funny now is the lecturing is starting from some of my friends that I don't need to lose any more.   Hello?  I'm still at 193, that is hardly TOO THIN (I'm 5'9").   So I smile and laugh it off only to get another round.  I finally had to tell them that I appreciate their opinion, but I'm listening to my surgeon and how I feel personally.    I made the mistake of listening to them 20 years ago when I lost all of my weight and got to goal...20 years and 130# later - I won't make that mistake again!!!

Words of wisdom or advice?  Hm, let me think on that one.  The nurse in me is telling me to tell you to walk a lot.  I can't stress that enough. 

I had a lot of pain afterward but not everyone has that.  I would say to be prepared with everything you need at home.  Make sure that you have a soft, cozy place to sit and nap.  Make sure you have full control of the remote.  Walk once an hour at home.  Having someone to baby you is nice for a while.  When you first get home from the hospital, don't let you child run right into your sore belly.  (Mine did that-it hurt)  And don't be afraid to call the doctor if you feel something is not right.  It has been hard but it is 99% mental.  Don't forget that.  Good luck and keep posting.  I am excited to hear how everything turns out.

I expected my face to look like an old hag. I expected to gain 20 years in the process. I thought I would look weird if I ended up smaller breasted, and thinner.

I'm amazed at what my results are....truly.... and just to show you, I'll post before after.... not wearing makeup in either picture.

Me at 332:


Me at 146:

Suite1: You do NOT look 50. I would have guessed you were my age. I'm 33. You look great! Congratulations on your progress thus far!!!

Stacey: Thanks for the tips and advice. Thankfully I don't have any kids to run into my belly but I will definitely be calling the surgeon's office if I have any post-op concerns. They are great there. And I'm sure I'll be posting questions on here as well. Everyone is so nice and helpful.

Lady Lithia: What a transformation!!!! You definitely did NOT gain 20 years! You took away years! AMAZING! Can I ask if you've had any plastics done???

Nope, no plastics. I started at a BMI of 60, that last picture is a BMI of 25

Under the clothing.... it's not a pretty site. Thank goodness for clothing!

You look amazing!

I also wonder what will I look like post surgery and have difficulty thinking about being thin (will I ever be, etc).  My main goal is to be healthy and more active.  All my goals currently are physical ones.  To one day be able to buy a regular size shirt......this is a dream.  But I think it is going to happen.  It is a journey though and this is the first step.