Alot of emotions came out in me yesterday and it lead to so many thoughts but too many to pick a certain question. So going to put it back in the cooker and let it simmer til next week. The one thing that did hit me is today's instead.

How has YOUR self- confidence changed with YOUR WLS journey and explain. How is it right now?

I find this so interesting as I needed to distinguish between self confidence and self esteem first. Prior to my surgery, I had confidence in my abilities as a nurse and mother- so it was external related. After my surgery it was my need to be strong in changing past behaviors and thoughts to make this successful for me. The more I lost the weight, the more I became confidant in my ability and me. Watching the scale go down and wearing smaller clothes seriously affected my confidence levels as I could do this and if I could do this, maybe I could do and be more. The more I lost, the more it seemed that I had a voice and it mattered.Always been able to have an opinion on everything but never been great at saying them out loud or to others. If I made a stand then they wouldn't like me. But I found my voice getting stronger and the scariness decreased every single time.

Obviously I have stretched my confidence level with taking a stand in alot of areas. Took a brand new turn with my profession,engaged when I swore I never would again,and letting my girls grow and move away from me. Even here on OH- been doing that more and more and am proud of myself for it with my HPONW,recent postings, presenting and support group.

Where am I now- well for the past several months my self confidence is wonderful and strong. But it is OTHERS that seem to have an issue with it. The more I get stronger and confidant- they cant seem to handle it. It blows my mind that being strong and having a voice makes people think that you are egoistical and holier than thou. Think I am fine and proud of me and that is THEIR issue. Wont let others decide anymore what my value is- been there and done that and wont again. That was my confidence speaking :)

See YOU all tomorrow,
Tanya
NO PAIN=REGAIN

Thursdays are always a pain as you are so close to Friday but not there yet- so today is take a moment for YOURSELF- as easy as allowing the sun on YOUR face and feel the warmth, take a walk and notice the path, bubble baths with candles and a good book, rub lotion on YOUR feet and give YOURSELF a massage.

I guess I don't know the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem because I don't know how to answer this. lol  I always thought they were the same thing.  I'm going to have to do some research on this one.  What I do know is I used to get my identity from what I did (job, mom, etc..) and now my identity is based on who I am on the inside (my thoughts, emotions, etc...).

Sorry, T.  I'm lost on this one.  Something new to learn today.

Hugs,

Jeri

In psychology, self-esteem reflects a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of her or his own worth.

Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, "I am competent/incompetent") and emotions (for example, triumph/despair, pride/shame). Behavior may reflect self-esteem (for example, assertiveness/timorousness, confidence/caution).

Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic (trait self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations (state self-esteem****ur.

Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension (for example, "I believe I am a good writer, and feel proud of that in particular") or have global extent (for example, "I believe I am a good person, and feel proud of myself in general").

Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include: self-worth,^[1] self-regard,^[2] self-respect,^[3][4] self-love (which can express overtones of self-promotion),^[5] self-integrity. Self-esteem is distinct from self-confidence and self-efficacy, which involve beliefs about ability and future performance.
 

self-confidence

Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself.

The socio-psychological concept of self-confidence relates to self-assuredness in one's personal judgment, ability, power, etc.

 

Definition from Wiktionary, a free dictionary

 

 

English

 

Noun

Singular self-confidence

Plural uncountable

self-confidence (uncountable)

1. The state of being self-confident
2. A measure of one's belief in one's own abilities

 

Thanks. Saved me the trouble. lol

So I have always been self-confident but never had self-esteem.  I have always known what I'm good at skill-wise and never shied away from that.

I'm like Tawnya...I do NOT like confrontation or drama--still don't & probably never will.  It's not something I'm going to work on cause life is to short to fight the silly stuff I get upset over.  That being said I am totally a social butterfly now.  I look people in the eye, don't walk looking down at the ground to avoid eye contact, smile more freely.  I am proud of who I am now...cannot say I have ever been that way before.  I'm not embarrassed about what I look like even when I don't look so hot and I don't feel like a social-outcast any longer.

Hugs,

jeri

I guess it's the Aries in me but I've never had a problem with self-confidence even at nearly 400 lbs...

Karen, maybe it IS an Aries thing...no problems here with self confidence or self esteem either whether fat or small.

Has it changed?  Maybe.  Maybe not.

In some areas of my life I was careful not to draw attention to myself by speaking out.  And if I did speak out it was along with the majority.  Most of my actions and reactions were in attempts to make people like me becuase I didn't deem myself worthy of them to like me just for me.  And if I spoke out against it was a quiet little voice, or in most cases I just walked away from the situation, the friends, the job, the church and never went back. 

In all honesty, I'm still not one to speak out loudly.  I hate confrontation.  If I have something to say that I know others will argue with me on, I just won't say it out loud.  I keep it to myself and maybe share it with people that I'm the closest to.  This includes speaking out at large meetings at work...I'd much rather discuss an issue one on one with my boss later rather than bring up an unpopular topic during a meeting only to be attacked.  I just won't do it.  Same goes for my personal life.  It raises my blood pressure, stresses me out and it's just not worth it. 

I'm with KAREN on this one. I probably always had more self confidence than I DESERVED to have...There was stuff I was good at it and I was proud to show it off, I guess...If there IS a difference, it's that I will walk HEAD UP thru a crowded room-like a restaurant-BY MYSELF-like to the restroom-and make eye contact....I always talked to strangers, but it was in line at WalMart, etc-now I do it EVERYWHERE-I probably didn't do that so much before-I mostly talked to people who looked more like ME (safe people)

Wow.... I'm going to have to think about this abit today!!  I'll be back later to post more of a response!!

How has YOUR self- confidence changed with YOUR WLS journey and explain. How is it right now?

I know I'm way more confident than I used to be, and in ways that you wouldn't think would be weight related. For instance, I'm no longer afraid to drive on freeways. What the heck does THAT have to do with weighing less?

I sure wouldn't have been on televistion nekkid before my weight loss!

I do think that lately I've lost some of my confidence. I need to work on that. I really think dealing with these 3 teenagers day in and day out has affected me. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you live with people who obviously hate you.