Need a sounding board (Repost from OK Board)

I have my surgery in 19 days and I am nervous, but really excited.  However, it seems like today has brought out all the negative responses people have held in.  My co-worker has done nothing but say that I'm an idiot for having the surgery.  She keeps saying, you realize you will have 60 more years of your life to live with that surgery.  Of course, she then turns arounds and makes unsolicited comments about how even my feet are fat.  (May I point out that she probably weighs 110 and is 5ft tall?)  My mother is supportive but not at all in favor of the decision.  She says she supports it because I want to do it, but she wishes there was another way.  My brother found out two days ago and won't even speak to me anymore.  They all seem to think that all I need to do is and I quote one of them, "Stop eating 14 boxes of cookies and you'll lose weight!"  Can I say that I have never even eaten 1 box of cookies?  If I hear one more time that this is the easy way out and all I need is to exert some willpower, I may scream.  Thank goodness for my DH - I'm going to need him and his support; he's been great.  Sorry to put this out there, but it's making me sad and I just don't want to be sad about this surgery. 

Roll your eyes. Shrug your shoulders. Take a Really. Deep. Breath. Now, forget them. Forget them. No one else is going to have to walk in your shoes, do the work, change your life, make the best decisions for YOU. You have to do that. And YOU know what you're signing up for. YOU know this is not an easy fix, nor an easy path to choose, and you chose it anyway. You chose it knowing there were going to be good and bad days, success and set backs. So never mind them. They are speaking from a perspective of fear or insecurity. Listen to people speaking from love, hope, and knowledge. Everything else should fall on deaf ears. Forget them. I'm glad you have a wonderful, loving and supportive husband. And you have your own strength, committment and courage. That's all you need to go forward. And TRUST me. In six months everyone will be oohing and ahhhing and pretending they thought it was a fantastic idea all along. Or else they're just plain jealous. :)

I am so sorry. Just tell them it's your body and your health and you will get it done to make yourself more healthy. Living with it for 60 years is exactly the reason I wanted to get it done. I don't want to be living with all the weight I was carrying around with me. I feel so much better. I can't imagine being old and having to deal with all the fat I had one me. Big hugs to you! I'm glad your dh is being supportive. Teresa

Ok, take a deep breath and listen carefully: YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU!!! nobody else.

While everyone is entitled to their opinion, YOURS is the only one that matters.  Thank them for their concern and move on; dont let them see it bothers you.  Only you can allow someone to maek you feel bad; don't let them get to you that way.

Surgery is hard, it's a hard decision and the first few weeks can be rough. (not always); but I guess what I'm saying is that YOU need to be in top mental shape to do this and do it right.

You go into this with your head held high, know that you are going to be successful. My last post on my blog goes into why I was very open about my surgery, sortof an accountability thing; but you know these people know, so it's up to you to PROVE to them you are making the right decision.

Another thing to ask your coworker, should you develop diabetes, high blood pressure or any other weight related issues, how many years will that take off your life  that now you have 60 more to go?  I had surgery before these problems started just to extend everything I can.  If you wait 20 years and have alot of problems, the surgery is much riskier!

Good luck and keep your chin up!!!

Well, I admit that I WAS one of those people who did eat the entire box of cookies!  I wasn't fat my whole life but for each pound that I gained the more hungry I got everyday.  I don't care if people think I took the easy way out . . . . the fact is I am losing weight now. More weight than I was able to with diet and excercise alone.  Calling that the "easy way out" is like telling someone who had an epidural during childbirth  that "they took the easy way out".  Bull****!  I ate large quanities and that made me fat.  I needed a way to control my eating = VSG. My life after VSG is EXACTLY the same as it was before. I can eat all the same foods and I don't have any side effects from the surgery.  The only difference is that I eat less!  I still have to make conscious decisions about WHAT I eat because I can eat cookies and ice cream. I still have to have self control.  The grate thing about the VSG is that when I eat healthy protein rich foods first I get full so fast that I can't eat any of the bad stuff.  I have lost 27 pounds in 7 weeks.  I couldn't lose that much on my own. On another note, my Mother fully supports my surgery but she has not had the surgery. She has tried to follow my exact same diet (600-800 calories per day, 70 gramd of protein, etc)  and she honestly sticks to it.  We both log out foord into MyFoodDiary.com. She has only lost about 10 lbs. in those same 7 weeks. (she is also obese)  The fact of the matter is, the average person can't do it themselves and keep it off long term.  WLS will guarantee results weight loss.  How much weight loss will depend on you.  Don't live your life fat and miserable  - do it for yourself!  You will love your SLEEVE!

Oh wow....I am sorry for what you are going through right now. First you need to tell your skinny co-worker to mind her own skinny business. She actually told you that your feet were fat??? OMG what kind of person says something like that? No excuses for how she is treating you. Period...immediately ignore her. She will never understand what being overweight is like....never unless it happened to her...and Karma is a pretty strong thing and it just may happen to her down the road :-) BTW...you will have 60 wonderful years with a tool that is actually going to work FOR you instead of against you :-). Your family...they are just scared for you....Sounds like saying to stop eating 14 boxes of cookies was going way overboard and a terrible thing to say to hurt your feelings. Bottom line is....THIS IS YOUR LIFE...You are in control of your own life...You walk in your own skin every day and you are the one that is not happy...You have probably tried diet after diet after diet like we all have...they just don't work. You will be the one living with the results of this surgery...not your family. I do realize they are concerned but you are going to have to make a stand...get mad get whatever you have to get to make them back off...or ignore them. They will come around....After they see that this surgery has not hurt you....and how you are looking healthier and feeling better...they will change their tune. Don't give into them with what they are doing now...Stay strong...stand your ground....do what you need to do to be healthier and happier. I am glad you have a good supportive husband...that is great...stick by him and try to keep yourself around the positive people that are out there to support you. It will all work out. And that skinny co-worker? Well she has a big surprise coming to her when you lose your weight.....maybe she is jealous?? Who knows but she shouldn't matter to you...I know the words sting and hurt...but this is your decision...not anyone elses. Sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way. hugs Sherri

Too bad she is a co-worker and not a "friend".  You can always dump or get rid of a "friend", but you are stuck with the co-worker unless you change jobs.  I just reinforce what the others have said.  I wish I could have had my surgery many years ago.  I would have enjoyed these last ones all the better.

I think the proper response is the one finger salute! Fred

oh thats horrible.....people can be so mean...Some people just need to be mean to others I think...it makes them happy or something....just ignore that co-worker....being so thin, she doesnt know anything about being obese or living this way.. as for ur family...they will come around. Im sure they are worried for u and just dont know how else to react. Maybe they think if they ignore this, that it will go away and u will forget ur foolishness... but dont let them dissuade u. If you indeed need the surgery..then do it.....they dont have to live in ur body...u do.  Im glad that u have a supportive husband...thats so important. I couldnt have done my surgery without my dh... and when u need someone to talk to....just come here...we are all very supportive and care about others....and we know what ur going thru...just lean on u....ur surgery is coming soon and things will be so new and different afterword...u certainly wont be able to eat one box of cookies afterward... big hugs to ya

yep. I agree with Lisa!  Come here when you need a shoulder, or just to vent!  Hang in there!