Being Honest Here

I'm Not Happy... I'm not really sure why.  I'm still fighting this bronchitis and cold..I thought it was about over with...but now my ears are stopped up. I'm about to start my 2nd round of antibiotics. The weather is pretty. I want to be doing something, but I just dont feel like it. I have had a few good days lately, but mostly I just feel awful. Today is one of those. My entire body hurts for some reason or another...and then of course, my ears are aggravating me. All Ive wanted to do was stay in bed all day.  Ive spent alot of time crying lately. Im just so worried about everything...mostly about my eating.. I know Im losing weight and doing well...but I cant help but feel Im messing up in a bad way. I dont know. I just figure that I will fail at this too...like everything else in my life. I wish there was some magic potion to snap me out of this funk. I hate it.  I want to feel happy and energetic the way I did a few wks ago...when I was just so happy I couldnt contain myself.. Im wondering if I will ever feel that way again. I just dont know what to do anymore.

Lisa, This too shall pass. Those hormones can reek havoc. You'll do great. Just keep on keepin on. If you stick with it you will be a big winner( oh I mean looooser). Go sit outside and let the beautiful weather take you away for a while. Hang in there kid. Carla

Lisa, this too shall pass, I have never been there but certainly understand how you can get into that funk, been there and done that 4 times over with each kid  Hang in there kiddo, and even though you are not feeling so hot do something special for yourself even if it is silly and seemingly insignificant, when I don't feel well like you I like to take eucalyptus and peppermint oil and put it in a pan of ho****er, boil it .  Peppermint naturally lifts your spirit for some reason: ((((((((Lisa)))))))))) Take care, Diane

Lisa, I will pray that you feel comfort from above and that this will pass quickly. I've been having similar feelings that I might fail .... even though I'm just in the 10 day pre-op diet. What I'm taking security and knowledge that I'm doing it all right is journaling and tracking every bite. The numbers don't lie! If I follow all the guidelines of my surgeon, nutritionist, and PT, I can't fail! None of us can! I'm tracking all my protein, carbs, fat, and calories on www.thedailyplate.com and also in a food journal that I have from my surgeon. When I see that I'm doing it in black and white, I know I'm not messing up! Even when it's something that I don't have the specific numbers for, I can look it up online and account for every bit of food that I eat or drink. Also, if this doesn't lift, please talk with someone professional who can help you see this objectively. For me, this is about so much more than just the surgery. It's my thinking that I need to change, my exercise habits, my motivation, my determination long term, my compliance, my overall outlook .... and my food habits are in there, too. But for me, it's so much more than just the food. I think well rounded support will be invaluable to me. I have a wonderfully supportive family, but sometimes they care too much to know how to truly be objective. That's why I feel the need for a broad base of support and help ... that goes far beyond just surgery and eating. Blessings to you! I hope you feel better right away.

Lisa - bless your heart!!  You have had so much to deal with and now your body (and soul) is just exhausted!!  Of course I'm still pre-op, but it sounds like just about everyone goes through this phase.  Your time with this is going to be especially difficult because of the bronchitis, so be extra gentle with yourself and know that this bad feeling shall pass.  Sending you good thoughts - Sammy

One day soon you will wake up from what you are going through have that happiness and energy again.  Sometimes life is like that.  Say good things to yourself.  Make sure you open your shades and get sunlight.  Listen to nice music, sing, get dolled up for no reason at all, read postive books, listen to positive CD's.  Get a mani/pedicure and request that your nails be painted a sunny color. Make the most out of being a newbie in terms of weight loss.  It gets easier and easier to bend the rules when you are loose  from the very beginning.  Can you write what you are eating down so that you are very clear about daily consumption. You'll feel better soon - keep thinking so and work on it being so. Hey Lisa - pop some funny DVD's or whatever in your player and then laugh your arse off.  You can't be sad if you are laughing Best, L

If you knew how much you are admired on this forum, you couldn't help but be proud of yourself! Don't let this funk get you down, we rely on your posts to help us make it through the day. Fred

Doggonnit my sweet friend is sad :-(    Here is a big ole bear hug! You know what Lisa...you have been through a lot....you have experienced a roller coaster of complications and that is going to play with your emotions....And I think surgery itself and being sick is just something that causes our system to become down....our spirit gets down... Remember last week when I posted about how bad I was feeling and thought it was hormonal? Maybe it was but I snapped out of that after I posted in about a day or two....I am back to my old self. I am thinking it was just post surgery related and that anesthesia can wreck havoc on us sometimes....and the surgery itself. We both had major surgery and we know it is going to take a toll on the body but we don't think about our emotions....of course it will play into it as well...Our emotions and spirits are delicate things and get off balance so easily. Not to mention I didn't really suffer any major post op complication like Bronchitis! Now you are trying get well from this....so your body hurts and your spirit hurts too. You will feel happy and energetic again...be kind to yourself...give yourself a break...realize that you have gone through much more then most of us have. And for some reason...at least for me...just writing about it does something to release some tension....I may not notice it right away...but usually just getting it out there helps a lot. I can ship you over some of my progesterone cream....LOL See when I get this way...I go kinda crazy with the shopping....and so I shopped on ebay last week...I bought Progesterone Cream...Testosterone Cream....and good lord something else to cure myself....LOL....I am such a freakin SPAZ sometimes...but it made me feel a helluva lot better ...just buying it made me feel like I was taking back control of how I felt... Can I call? Are you up to it? It is ok I understand if you are not...but lets talk soon. love u bunches Sherri edited to add the kissy faces

Hang on, Lisa Right now your are in the hangover period, or you could think of it as the detoxing period.  As your fat melts away it is releasing a lot of hormones and other chemicals into your blood stream.  Think of it as a REALLY LONG episode of PMS.    I'm still pre-op (like a certain shiny ornament, I'm a perpetual loser in waiting), but I've watched the new post-ops for quite a while, and a certain amount of depression and even buyer's remorse is fairly common.  Remember, after ANY major surgery there is some depression (a combination of anesthesia hangover, the beating your body has just taken, and perhaps dismay that you can't bounce back like some of the exceptional cases).  Add to that you can't comfort-eat any more , and you are in a weakened state that puts you at higher risk of common colds and flu and such, so it's not surprising  you get dragged down. It will get better.  Really.  Take a hot shower, get dressed in something comfortable, take a short walk out in the fresh air outside.  I would say take a deep breath of the spring air, but that will just start you coughing again (yes, I also had bronchitis this winter).  Just keep reminding yourself that on the whole, things really are getting better.  By four months out you'll be amazed how good you feel. Catherine

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((LISA))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) As everyone has said...I believe it too....This Too Shall Pass, but man oh man, it's hard to go through, isn't it?  We love you girl, and we're pulling for you to get well SOON!  Take care of yourself and take it a minute at a time if you need to...You will come out on the other side....a healthy and happy Lisa.  You are beautiful.