All signs point to NO SURGERY

Becky-

Know where you're coming from.  I haven't had my meeting with the surgeon yet but have had many the same thoughts as you.  I started this journey last July.   At first I was like you, I didn't think I could do it. I also thought I would have to give up certain foods forever.

During this past winter I worked with a counselor on my food issues.  Comfort eating is my addiction.  I was fortunate to find someone who had had  WLS Rouen Bypass.  She was great and was able to answer many of my questions one on one. 

Since working with the couselor I have been in training for the surgery.  I am chewing, chewing, chewing.  I'm a slave to my kitchen timer so that I don't drink 30 minutes before, during or after a meal.  I'm practicing eating my protein first.  I'm timing my meals to chew them thoroughly and take 30 minutes to eat.  I've ordered many of the products that folks have talked about on this forum so I can sample them in advance and find what I like.

I still have doubts but not as many.  Since finding this forum, I am strangely calm about the surgery.  Many of my doubts have gone away.  I have a long list of questions to ask the surgeon when we meet on June 14l.  Last night I finally informed my Mom that I am thinking about doing the surgery.  That was a big step considering when I went to the first seminar about the surgery I was angry at her suggesting that I "mutilate" my body to loose weight.  I've come to learn that this will be a tool to help me loose a lot of weight and then maintain the weightloss.  I will have to change many of my behaviors.  It's going to be a long journey but it can be successful.

Hang in there and any time you want to compare notes or have a sympathetic ear just drop me a line.

Cindi

Everyone says it's different after surgery (and it is); I am trying to think of how to describe it to you if you haven't been there.  There are two things going on:

1.  Do you remember a time when you were getting over getting sick, and  just had no desire  to eat for a day or two?  Eating wouldn't hurt, but you didn't feel hungry, and didn't feel the "need" to eat that you usually do? 

That's what all the time is like for me.  I eat because it's time to eat, because I know I need to feed my body, but I am missing that hunger, and that voice in my head saying "oh my lord, give me a sandwich NOW!"

2.  Eating feels different.  I loved eating.  I  think it was something to do with the feel of the swallowing and going down; I ate way too much, way too fast, and it really didn't matter what I ate most of the time.  Sometimes, if I had to stop and chew something a lot, I would realize it didn't actually taste very good.

Now, if I start to eat too fast, it hurts; not unbearable, but enough to make me slow the heck down.  (Kind of like the way your chest feels after running farther than you have any business running).  So, I use a baby spoon, and take very small bites.  I'm still on puree, but when I try solid food, I will be chewing the life out of stuff.  Which also means I will really taste it, and make some different choices about what I'm eating.

As a pre-op right now, I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm terrified of having surgery, and every day, the thought to cancel it goes through my head. I've been very successful during my wait for surgery. I've had to wait about 9 months now, and I've made a lot of changes to my eating habits, my relationship with food is changing, and I've cut down my emotional eating binges.

But, I've been here before. And when life really gets tough, I fall off the wagon and eat a whole pizza. Then, the guilt sets in, I've already failed, so I get another. And then, it's all over. I know I have to do this to break the cycle - I know it's going to be hard, it's going to be a lot of work. I do not expect it to be any kind of magical cure, but I have to look at it as my only option to live a normal life.

That being said, make sure that you are completely ready for it - there's no reason you have to do it as soon as possible. Take time to think, and reflect, and feel at ease with your decision.

There are some really great answers here. I only have one thing to add. I was exactly like you and had the same questions. I LOVED food and everything related to food so I had a lot of reservations about getting the sleeve. However, I am so glad I did. My perspective on food has changed completely. I cannot eat anywhere near what I did before and because of that, food has lost most of its importance to me, except as a means to nourishment. Seriously, I never thought I would feel this way but your whole outlook changes after the surgery. I was a very poorly controlled diabetic and I craved sweets constantly. Now I am really not that interested. I would rather have something good for me, like meat or veggies. I have already lost 36 lbs. in 5-1/2 weeks and I have never felt better in my life.

If I can do it, I am sure you can too!

Good Luck!

Hang in there...the answers will come.  Word of caution:  Make up your mind to GET and STAY WELL.
Remove doubt and all those other LIES LIES LIES you tell yourself.  Recognizing the truth from the lies you tell yerself...is a major attribute in this PROCESS!!

What you say to yourself will MAKE YA...or it CAN BREAK YA!

I regained after 2 years (injury and never adjusted my eating!)....Im losing again, got back on track, got support (this group is my only support outside DH), in 3 short months...Im almost at the lowest weight Ive been since surgery!!...VSG has my back...ALWAYS WILL...I CAN DO THIS NOW....before VSG 20 yrs of  dieting, WW, drugs or   didn't help! 

FIX THAT BRAIN FIRST....yer attitude makes all the difference in the world on this journey!!
Persevere to YOUR goal/s 
            ____________

Some of the most frequent PHRASES to THE PHASES of VSG:
#1  Regret on this board is ...I DIDN'T DO IT SOONER...Ive been here 3 yrs..hasn't changed yet..
               we all just keep gettin older, and fatter and sicker...till we get that rude awakenin 
                with VSG

2.    THIS TOO SHALL PASS....there are so MANY phases on the road to recovery from the ravages of obesity and what its done to mind & body..pre&post VSG......the majority being temporary.  You'll go through them...ALL  by yourself...we'll just be outside observers, mirrors, cheerleaders, or ass kickers...but THIS IS YOUR RIDE...always has been always will be!! 
One thing that is Permanent...is yer VSG. 
MAJORITY of those pounds and inches..GONE FOREVERMORE!!  

3.   THIS IS A MARATHON, NOT A SPRINT.....your weight loss journey is YOURS alone!  We're all in this for the LONG HAUL!!  Not just that first year when weight loss literally melts off...
not just that month or two, when EVERYONE ELSE is losing a GOZILLION pounds and you only lost 5 inches around yer gut!!  This is YOUR STORY, YOUR JOURNEY...OWN IT!!  BE ACCOUNTABILE to IT and QUIT YER BELLYACHIN!!

4.   VSG is WHAT **YOU **MAKE IT!!...you get what you give....follow YOUR guidelines don't follow em, exercise don't exercise, have energy to burn, don't , wallow in self-pity and doubt...OR GET YER ASS UP!!    YOUR CHOICE..has BEEN...will ALWAYS BE.

about the only things I can think of RIGHT NOW...lmao!! I need my TEA!! ,-)

Lemme tell you - I have NEVER been able to maintain a diet mentality long enough to lose more than 20 or so pounds, or to keep it off once it was gone.

I hear a LOT about how this surgery is on your stomach, not your brain, and it is your brain you need to change etc.

FOR ME the changes to my anatomy have been enough to help me tolerate the restricted diet that is necessary for me to lose weight. I am just about at goal, so -full discolsure - who knows, maintenance may be difficult.

I will just say that although I have had to be thoughtful about and put some effort into what and how much I eat, it has not been difficult at all - NOTHING like dieting was for me.

I find it easy to get in the protein, a bit less easy to avoid the carbs, but my restriction keeps me in check and I am no longer at the mercy of the ever-present ravenous hunger that led me to eat lots and lots of food prior to the sleeve. I could NEVER have tolerated this diet.

And, it's not like I have become a paragon of virtue since surgery either - I just am not as hungry, get full faster, and have the motivation, fueled by success, to keep doing what I need to do to stay healthy.

good luck - it is wise to think carefully about this decision, it's a big one and it is definitely possible to eat around your sleeve, if that's how you roll.

All I can add is that I am so glad I chose to have a sleeve and mine is working.  I would not be able to eat like I do without it.

You so hit the nail on the head!  I also feel like you, and have the same questions.  I doubt my ability to succeed with this every day.  I never thought it would get to this.  I have lived 3/4 of my life in this fat shell, and I'm so over it.  I know it is a major decision, but at the pace I am going now, I'll end up shorting up my life, I have Lupus that effects my joints and the weight so doesn't help.  I've tried so many things and just fail one after another.  I am really overwhelmed too, but so many people on this site have helped and have great feed back.  I am also really scared, but I assume that is normal.  I hate not believing in myself.  But I can do this, I know I can.  I think a lot of it is the unknown.  But I know if I don't do it, I will just keep gaining and who knows what other health problems will pop up.  My sugar has started to act up, so they think I'm heading towards diabetes.  Maybe these are signs for me to do something, and use this tool to get me healthy.  I guess I will see.  Good luck with your decision and take care!!!