Sensitivity when discussing VSG in a mixed WLS crowd?

Hey everyone, hope all are doing GREAT today!

I have a question and wonder how you all might handle it. I am often asked why I chose VSG by lots of people who have had VSG, Lap Band and RNY (I don't think I've met any DSers, but I'm not 100% on that).

When I respond, I list my personal reasons, which are:
1. I have some hormone issues (PCOS, Metabolic Syndrome w/insulin resistance, etc.) and the Lap Band is not as effective for patients with those issues.
2. As a vegan (for the decade preceding the month or so prior to surgery... it was a hard decision for me to not be vegan anymore and I thought I would continue with it but didn't, and still would like to get back to it when I'm on maintenance.) I knew I already faced tons of challenges with absorption of nutrients and vitamins and have had a tough time with balancing them and didn't want a malabsorptive procedure to make it any harder for me.
3. I wanted to keep my pylorus.
4. I didn't want to re-route a large portion of my digestive system. I like my intestines right where they are.
5. I didn't want a piece of plastic or silicone living inside of me forever.
6. I wanted something permanent and restricting, but with the least long-term side effects (ie: stricture, obstruction, etc.) and with the least post-op risks of anemia and malnutrition.

And so, I decided that the VSG was the right fit for me.

But... when these non VSG people ask me that and I discuss with them my list, I can't help but feel a little bad, like I might sound "superior" or something even though I'm not trying to... a lot of these people are the banders, are more than a year out, and are still struggling with their weight, food choices and eating behaviors, and some other destructive behaviors like binging and purging. I know that they have a lot of issues, both psychologically as well as medically, and I feel sorry that they are still facing so many struggles... but I also can't help but feel kind of embarrassed to tell them the truth because I don't want to make them think that I think what I chose was best. But I still want to stand in my truth... just not hurtfully so.

Does that make sense?

I mean, I know it was best for *me* and that I'm not everyone and everyone makes choices for all different reasons and yadda yadda yadda... but I guess I'm just wondering how you all might handle this type of conversation and still remain sensitive to the people asking who are the ones struggling so much.

Suggestions welcome!

It is a challenge, my friend.  And I will always add *for me* to many things, because that is what is true, that *for me* these were *my* reasons for making this choice.  *for me* these are *my* ways to get X done, keep X done.

What I do know and have had very prominantly displayed as of late, you can be as sensitive as you know to be, and folks who are going to be tetchy and tender, will still be tetchy and tender.  Aside from just not saying anything, there isnt really much of a good way to say things so that everyone can digest them at the same rate.  And too, we all listen thru such different filters of experience, emotion, and perhaps at any given moment especially during the quick loss period - hormones coursing thru both sexes. You can tap dance all day and you can try and find the most PC, rainbow and glitter way of saying things, but sometimes folks just wont dig you or the information you have to share.  *shrug*

And girlie, you did choose what was best *for you.* That's the best you could have done for yourself.

Good luck! 

I've had the same issues and there is no good way to say "why you chose VSG", without naming some of the bad things about the other surgeries.  One thing that I do, when I am asked about it, is to stop, take a breath, and ask, "Do you really want to hear the reasons I made this choice? Because I have no intention of hurting you or making you feel bad about your choice."  When people respond that they really want to know, I feel I have to tell them.  They usually just listen and then walk away.  I think I still hurt their feelings, but I just don't know a different way to do it.  I too always add, "for me".  But they usually understand that I really mean for everybody as the things I say are pretty universal.  I would love to know if there is another way.

I've had this happen as well. I belong to a couple WLS support groups in which there's a mix of different surgeries. I've heard numerous times "If the Sleeve would have been available when I had my surgery, I definitely would have chose it over X"

Some day they're going to come up with something better than the Sleeve...or a safe drug that will end obesity once and for all and we may be the ones saying..."If it had been available when I had my Sleeve..."


Heidi

Ditto... I came very close to doing the RNY and then got off track... I thank heavens that there is the VSG now and am so thankful that I waited... but like DragonGirl said... it's probably a matter of time before something better comes along...

 I didn't even know the sleeve existed until I went to my surgeon's orientation.  I changed my mind immidiately.  I would have still had RNY if I couldn't have qualified for the sleeve.  I believe in both procedures, if you are vigilant.  I just thought the sleeve presented less issues and was a better fit for me.  

This is exactly why I still use my 5-yr-old Razr phone.  I have never been an "early adopter" but this surgery makes me feel like one.

I am still pre op, but have friends ask me why. I think in the end I have made my decision based on personal friends I know. My friend with the band lost a whole 20 pounds and is trying to get approved for something else just because she cannot get the weight off. Then with RNY I have a friend of a friend who had complications from surgery and passed away the day after. I know there is always a chance with major surgery, but is just to real for me. I have seen that people are very protective of their reasons, and when I am asked I won't get into all the real reasons, but real life friends experiences. I did tons of research on all the 3 available to me, but I think my sleeve will be a great tool I can do great with for myself. I hope when confronted with stuff like that I can stay stron and level headed to have my reasons put out there gently.

Often times I have found obese people feel that have to comfort or something to other people.  What you have just stated are YOUR truths...that's it.  That's the reason you CHOSE your surgery.  The research and the opportunity to have several surgeries is OUT there and it's not your fault that others are struggling with THEIR choice.

Be strong in YOUR decision and CHOICE.

Ms Shell

You can also use the following points.

1. You didn't want or need malabsorption (RYN).
2. Didn't want to take 13-21 pills a day (RYN).
3. Didn't want constant fills and fittings (Band).
4. Didn't want the possibility of slippage and errosion (Band).
5. Didn't want iron deficiency (RYN).
6. You didn't want a foeign object in your body (Band).

Several people I know with the RYN have told me they would have opted for the VSG had it been available when they had their WLS.

As for the Band, you can see by the number of Band to Sleeve posts that the Band is not a long term solution.

Everyone will have their own opinion on WLS. All you really need to tell them is that after doing your research you found the sleeve to be the best option for your long term goals.

Stand in your truth. You're doing fine.