Sensitivity when discussing VSG in a mixed WLS crowd?

I try to remember that HOW your say it is more important than what you say and that positioning the information in the best possible manner helps a lot. 

For instance, instead of saying, "I didn't want to have vitamin deficiancies" or "I didn't want to have that dumping syndrome", I might say, "I really love the surgery I got.  Because I still have my pylorus, I don't get dumping and my vitamin levels are really good right now so I'm feeling great..." 

I don't like rubbing people's faces in the surgery they got. I'm sure someday there will be a procedure that blows the sleeve away and then I'll feel like crap. Ha ha ha ha

(PS: I coach customer service skills for my day job so there you go!) 

must be why you gots mad phone skillz bro!

Ha ha ha ha! You know it!

foe me....it is an easy answer....no Doc i went to would put a LB in me...not an option for a 600lb patient... My PCP....would not "sign off" on the the RNY...or DS....necessary for insurance.  Those are my reasons....simple.......I am often the only VSGer in a group of WLS people....I also add I LOVE my VSG....would not change it for anything........Since I'm usually the "biggest loser" in the group....i don't get any grief.....can't argue with success.......Gots ta represent for VSG......YA KNOW?

The worst, for me, is when you explain what you had done to someone who's already had another procedure, and they say they had never heard of [VSG or DS] when they had their surgery. I have had people become practically angry that they didn't know these options existed, and then I just feel badly for them.

It DOES suck!    This is why I tell EVERYBODY  I can......that there are more options...besides LB and RNY......I TOTALLY get the attitude of some DSers!

You know what I do is I just tell them why I chose the VSG without putting down any other surgeries. I say I was a volume eater but I made pretty healthy choices, but I hate HUGE amounts of volume and wanted a permanent way to end that problem.

So by saying permanent I'm not putting down lapband, just saying that I chose something permanent. For them, the fact that the lapband is NOT permanent may be a plus to them. Also by saying I generally made healthy choices to eat and my issue was mostly due to volume, I'm really saying I didn't need the malabsorption (or so far I don't seem to need it but we'll see if/when I get to goal) so I'm not really putting down the RNY, but saying it had features that I didn't feel I need.

Same thing with DS.. I tell people I generally eat very health and make good choices (which is true) but was a HUGE VOLUME eater. I also have to say, I love that you asked this question. It is a topic I've never seen brought up before and I think it reflects on how considerate you are of others feelings... so thank you for being you.

Also, you might want to share with the lapbanders that you know of many lapband to VSG revision folks from OH.

I always keep it simple and say "after I researched all the different procedures, I felt this was the best fit for me". If anyone asks further, I just say I saw a segment on 60 minutes about the sleeve and it looked so good to me that I actually scheduled the surgery. Further questions? "Maybe you can find it on Youtube, it just really looked like those people loved their surgery and had very little trouble with it".
I feel absolutely NO need to explain further. If pushed, I'd probably act as if I were uncomfortable and say 'excuse me, it was a personal decision made for my own reasons" as I think it would be rude for anyone to keep on and on about it to that point.

After all, there doesn't have to be a WHY to everything.

Thanks for all your comments and considerations, everyone. I just got back to the boards this morning to read everyone's responses and value everyone's input.

I brought this topic up because I am a very sensitive person, both to other's feelings and needs as well as to my own. I admit to being somewhat of a weenie and I cry at the drop of a hat, not just from those cotton commercials (the touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of our lives) and the Jiff peanut butter ones where the kid makes the mom or dad a lunch bag and gives them a special note, but I also have to fight to choke back tears when someone says something a little insensitively or roughly to me. Knowing that, and realizing that I must not be alone in this, I wanted to get your ideas for how to communicate appropriately with others who might be in a similar situation... I really do thank you all for your thoughful responses.

I do agree especially to Ms. Shell *****minded me the importance of being strong in my truth, and what BrandiLynn and Waffle said about *how* you say the things that you say-- the word choice and tonality really can affect how people react to wwhat you're talking about.

I (attempt) to practice therapeutic communication in my job in healthcare, and love to take the time to think about how I can use these same practices in everyday conversations when topics might require a therapeutic touch. Thanks everyone for responding!

Hi guys,
I'm not usually on this board, but overall I find it very insightful.

As you all can see, I am RNY, and was only given two surgery choices. Mu surgeon was a firm RNY fan, and I did research vsg too, but never realized I might challenge my insurance company. I was so concerned just to be approved that I focused on that.

I need to say though that my RNY is a glorious gift, due to how well it has worked for me. I do think I may have chosen VSG had it been offered. I do recall my fear last summer of "leaving my stomach behind" (a.k.a. vsg) even though it is "lame".

Anyway, this was a great topic. And I too try to never disrespect anyone's choice. We all want to reach the same destination afterall. I hope you all the best of success!

kim