Yes I probably could...... But why would I?

Ok, so I feel irritated and I know I probably shouldn't because how would most people understand what we are going through.

I haven't really felt angry that I can't eat much for several months, mostly because the high of seeing the numbers on the scale drop is so much better than food, but occasionally, I want to eat, I mean really eat! I find myself getting irritated that I can't have a big plate of spaghetti or a pile of pancakes with maple syrup. I want to enjoy the taste, and when someone says you can have that, just a few bites it really sets me off!

Yes, I suppose I could do that, but why would I?  Why would I open that door? A few bites today, a few bites tomorrow.... Heck a few bites of the foods I miss are without a doubt more carbs and sodium than I allow myself in a entire day. Why would I eat something like that knowing full well that it would likely make me literally sick.  Why would I disappoint myself like that when I have come so far.  If I was good with the "just a few bites" theory, would I have ever got to 337 pounds? My guess, probably not, moderation was never a strength of mine, obviously. Now, please understand that for many people, some of you reading I am sure, moderation is not an issue and you can eat a few bites of something and stop with no problems which may work great for you, I am afraid I am not that strong. For me it would spiral out of control so easily, if I did it once, I would do it twice and so on. Please do not misunderstand, I am not saying anything bad about those that can eat a couple of bites and stop, just not an option for me.

Don't you find it odd/amazing how conscious we are now of what we are putting into our bodies? I will admit, I am a bit extreme at times, I genuinely have a fear of carbs and sodium right know, but that is better than being oblivious right? 

Before surgery if I cheated on a diet, I really didn't think twice, I wanted what I wanted end of story.  Now I will not allow myself to cheat. This is not a diet, this is not temporary. This is my life and I WILL NOT cheat myself out of life anymore.

So basically you have read my rant (which I appreciate) to learn that my head wants some spaghetti which I will not eat....Wow, I am so sure you must have found that riveting... :) Sorry

Happy Day Friends!
Shayla

 I am the same way with soda!  I haven't had any since about a week before my surgery, and I can go days and days without even thinking about it!  Every once in a while, though, I want a diet dr. pepper like nobody's business!  I haven't caved, because of the "slippery slope" that it could cause.  I'm just not willing to take the risk.

Good for you to come to that realization...people say that to me all the time.."Why don't you just have a few bites...it won't hurt you!"  Really??!! Well, yes it will....I too have the same problem..I am a carb addict...and I know once I allow myself to have one bite of something that is on my forbidden list...it will be a downhill slide for me...So I choose not to have those trigger foods and even though I CAN eat them I WON'T!!! Thanks for the reminder....Great post!

Its good you know your limits Shayla.  When I get my surgery I will have to do that.  I am addicted to carbs.  I know If I get off track it will awake that carb monster in me.  I agree with you after going through so much why sabatoge yourself?  Its sooooo easy to fall back into old patterns. Old ways.

Cheers hon

I followed the same path of no cheating at all, until goal and even then, I mostly continued to stay on that path for the past two years.  I find that it is a very good and productive path.  Only now, 2 years after having the VSG have I decided to try a modified version of the "no cheating rule".  I wrote a whole post about my mindful eating a few days ego.  It would not have worked for me early out or even right at the beginning of maintenance.  Good for you for fighting for your health and doing the right thing.  I salute you and consider you a sister in arms.

I think you have every right to be irritable. This is your life, your feelings. It's perfectly okay.

While moderation is the "ideal situation" - I don't think a lot of us will accomplish that with everything. And there are obvious triggers that we have that we have to avoid. As long as you know what your triggers are, you will be fine.

I, for one, know that I will never eat one single piece of pizza - i'm just going to be better without it in my life. Same for some other things, and I'm okay with that, because there are a lot of other alternatives that are better for my body.

Shayla, amazing post! I struggle with moderation too.  (I have a saying... if you were meant to have one, they wouldn't be called brownIES). LOL.

I have also developed a fear of sodium and carbs (mostly because I feel so sick if I eat them, and am starving again an hour later). I'm having surgery tomorrow, and plan to avoid them until goal.

BTW... have you tried spaghetti squash? I eat it in place of the pasta when having spaghetti, and it really does the trick! That way I can have my spaghetti and eat it too! 

 Very inspiring! I lost 180lbs on Atkins 8 yrs ago.  I allowed myself to ride that slippery slope and I am back at square one today. May you never lose your resolve to stay clean! You look WONDERFUL!

Thanks for the post!   I think it's important for us to post things like this on this forum.  I'm a carb/sugar addict myself and hoping to have VSG next month.  I'm trying to wrap my brain around the idea of restricting myself from slider/trigger foods completely for at least the next two years and am worried about experiencing emotions like the ones you are going through.  However, knowing there are so many of us with sugar monsters living inside our heads, makes me feel better.  I mean if you guys can do it, so can I, right?

You're doing great - so, KUDOS for you!

We all need to remember that we have to work our sleeve in a way that BEST works for us!
I guess you could say that I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum.  I WILL NOT deprive myself of anything.  If I want a few potato chips, I have them.  Birthday cake, a very small slice.  Pizza, one slice minus the crust.  And, the great thing and number one reason why I love my sleeve so much....I don't want to go further with anything and I'm extremely satisfied with that one slice or a few of something.  I'm getting exactly what I want out of my sleeve! So, while I am very conscious of what I'm eating, I am now (not only) making better decisions but I'm also setting limitations.

So regardless of how we all get there...we should all be very proud of ourselves!  And, that being said, I can completely understand how you feel the way you do and I commend you on knowing what's best for you and realizing that others may be different.  All too often we read the "you abo****ely, 100%, cannot have......ever again" and, for some, that's just not true.  Thank you for recognizing that!

And, keep up the awesome work!!