Having a bad day.....

Having a really blue day today.  Even tho I'm happy with my weight loss. I'm looking at the wrinkles and it is scary.  I still have a ways to go.  How bad will this look when I'm done????
Also(ladies will understand this one) my periods have returned like clock work.  They have never been!!!  This makes me very sad.  Because I did 5 years of infertility treatments,with multiple miscarriages and no success.  I wonder if I lost all this weight then, maybe my outcome would have been different.  I am now 43 and I'm no longer with my partner, so getting pregnant is not going to happen.  All I ever wanted to be was a MOM....so this breaks my heart.  I know today is just my hormones talking, but boy is this hard.  I have gone thru all of this by myself.  All I want to do it be happy about all of this...however I have alot of days that I feel sad.

I guess I need advice on how to celebrate all of this and move on....HELP


Thanks

Jane

Hi Jane! We are all entitled to these days. I am newly sleeved and one day I was happy how I was looking and then the next I had assured myself that I was going to be ugly as a smaller version of myself.
Now- do not take offense to this, but would you consider being a mom without a partner? I know several people who have wanted to be moms and did so without a 'partner'. You are having wonderful success with your weight loss----keep up the good work!

First of all you are doing AWESOME!!! Second you said you wanted to be a mom but you are no longer with your partner, think about it like this maybe God knew they were not the right person for you so he chose for you not to have a child then. Everything will be ok and if it is meant to be it will be!!! Keep your head up and take it a day at a time!

Jane,
Sorry that you are feeling low.  We have all wasted a good part of our lives because of our addiction/obsession with food.  As excited as I am to get my sleeve and move on, I'm haunted by how much time and effort that I have wasted...the things that I have missed and the joy that I was denied.  We can't change the past so let's make the best of tomorrow.  I wish you well.
Greg

No advice...just (((hugs))).  This is a difficult, emotional process and we all have our ups and downs along the way.  Try to keep your chin up and think about how good you are going to feel after you lose your weight.  The wrinkles and the skin won't matter to someone who truly loves you for you and those people are the only ones who are really worth our time.

 Oh hun :(  I know in a small way what you are feeling.  My first born died during delivery at 41 weeks.  I know without a doubt that he would be here if I was at a normal weight.  I wouldn't have had the hypertension that possibly could have abrupted my placenta along with the pitocin when I was trying to push him out after 15 hours of labor.  I definitely feel like my weight made things worse even though it was the hospitals fault for the delayed emergency cesarean.  If only I had weight loss surgery before I ever got pregnant, maybe he would still be here.  His 7th birthday would be this Sunday so I'm really feeling the pain.  So yea... BIG HUGS!!!!

Hi Jane,  I understand how you feel completely!  It is sad to think of what might have been.  I wasted too many years being too fat and pushing away any chance of a happily ever after.   I think that all we can do now is do our best  for ourselves and celebrate what we accomplish.  I'm 46, so if all goes well and I suddenly find Mr.  Right, it's probably too late for me.  They say 40 is the new 30 and all but who knows.  A partner during all of these changes would be so nice.  On the other side I have nothing against having some facial PS along with the body lift when it is time.  I see you as being a strong and positive person who is being very successful with this challenge.  I am usually the same way.  On these dark days maybe we just need to feel our feelings then move forward to a great future.  I think a guy with grown children might be nice.  I might not ever be a mother, but I could be an awesome Nana!  Tomorrow you could bump into the right man for you.  We never thought we could lose this weight, now anything is possible.  I know I'm rambling, but I hope you feel better soon.

((Hugs, Jane))

You know, when I lost weight the first time (in my late 20s), I was pretty stretched out and wrinkly, it's true.  But I looked great in clothes and found a wonderful partner who didn't care that I was kind of deflated looking.  Then again, I have always been very self conscious about my body, no matter what size I was.

It is hard sometimes to think about all the things this disease has taken from us, and I can feel so bad about the ways I have let food rule my life at the expense of my mental and physical health.  But I do believe we each do the best that we can in the moment, and that we're on the path we're meant to be on.

Your sadness over not being a mom really moved me.  I wanted to be a mom very badly 25 years ago, but I came to realize that I was not going to be able psychologically to have a child as an (apparently) single woman, both from the general society but more from how it would upset my parents.  That may sound strange now, but that was where I was at the time. 

I prayed to be shown a way to be important in the life of child, that if I were too scared to have a biological child, that I could find some way to channel that desire.  Nothing happened for several years.  Then in my early 30s, my partner and I ended up caring for two girls who's mother had mental problems, and when I was 35 we adopted them.  Trust me, it was a long and convoluted story.  I would never have predicted this, but in retrospect I could see how every decision I'd made eventually had brought me to this point.  My experience raising these girls has been the most incredible thing I could imagine, and more meaningful in many ways than having my own biological child.

I guess I am saying not to be hard on yourself.  I really think that if you open youself to the opportunities, you can find a way to be a mom.  Maybe it isn't in any way you know or can see now, but there are so many children who need that one important relationship with an adult who believes in them.  I think you can find a way, whether it's biological or something different.

I hope this isn't sounding insulting or weird or anything.  I'm just sorry you're sad, I'm sorry that you're going through this alone.  Big hugs...