My rant about "cheating"...

I love your choice of words.
Cheating vs choice
food plan vs diet
I'm adopting.

It's hard for me to say no to things (food..not people I can tell them no!) I've ingested things not so good for me cake cookies full fat ice cream etc. yep it slows weight loss no I shouldn't eat tons of it (some would say none of it) I don't eat it all the time (like before) I catch myself before it goes to far, I dont consider it "cheating" I cut calories elsewhere when this happens . I used to beat myself up over food I won't do it anymore, I eat my protein I eat my veggies, if I have a, skinny cow ice cream, or a tiny slice of cake, I have to account for it in my daily intake

Great post Happy.  Its important for us to recognize that making an eating mistake, going off plan or whatever you want to call it should not have the moral and ethical connotations that the word "cheating" evokes. Cheating on your spouse or on a test is not the same as what is often called cheating on a diet.

As former obese people we all went on diet after diet and eventually cheated. That term just adds to the view that fat people are lazy, morally weak, bad or a whole list of things that simply isn't true.

Thats why I really hate to refer to any eating mistake or error as cheating. Its not bad, evil, wrong or whatever. Its simply an incorrect dietary choice and we have to live with the consequences of it and take steps to improve. But its not bad like parking in a handicapped spot, speeding in a school zone. shoplifting or littering.

Part of the process of losing weight and maintaining is developing a more normal and healthy attitude about food and eating and one aspect is not making it a moral and ethical issue. Is a matter of developing good attitudes and habits for our own good.  The end.

Diane

I love you, Diane!

back at ya Happy!   diane

Amen, well said, ditto, whoohooo, spot on  and other likes, that say yes to your thoughts.  Wisdom or rant, I say wisdom!!!  Glad you wrote and shared it! 

You Go Girl!  VSG is just one tool in our arsenal.  I purchased the book "The Beck Diet Solution".  It is about changing your thinking with Cognative Behavior Therapy.  She uses the work "cheating" only one time in the book, and that is only to say that she will not use it again.  She goes on to say there is no such thing as mindless eating.  I also just started using the myfitnesspal.com program.  I am building my arsenal and will adding to it as I learn what works for me.  Yes, this is for life. Our weight loss is not a game, it's part of who we are.

I totally respect your viewpoint, but I hope you'll let me share my own. For me, as a major food addict, cheating is a real issue. There are those of us who are addicts who one "cheat" can lead to a binge and falling off the wagon. That would be me.

I learned long ago that to deny that this is my reality is counter-productive. If I do slip and cheat, I have to quickly pull in the reins otherwise it can and will spiral out of control. The more I "cheat", the more I get cravings and the more I slide down that slippery slope.

I've seen this pattern enough that I can recognize it and know it's real for me. So abstinence is my aim and goal. I've had large chunks of time completely on plan of my abstinence (3 years straight and 1+ year straight) and I can tell you that for ME, abstinence gives me peace from my food addiction. It feels cathartic and liberating.

Now for other folks, living that monastic lifestyle would be counterproductive, and denying themselves simple pleasures or a small treat now and then would set them up to binge later. For them, "cheating" should not exist because they will thrive with a more realistic diet.

I think that the more important thing to figure out is what side of the food addiction coin you are on. If you can have a small amount of something and STOP, and it does not lead you to further crap eating or binges or cravings, then that probably means you'll do great with a more open eating plan.

If however you are like me, and "cheating" always leads to more cheating and more problems, then abstinence is probably your best bet. To get to the place where I stopped being in denial and realized that abstinence was the only way for me was hard, and sometimes I feel like a freak, especially socially.

But those momentary societal discomforts are worth all of the other health and emotional (peace) rewards I get in return. Just my two cents.. thanks for sharing your viewpoint.

Sublimate,

I was afraid I wasn't being clear, which I felt from some of the responses.  I think we actually are much closer to agreeing than not.

I am all about the abstinence.  I have been abstinent from recreational sugar since 2004, with one slip.  I abstain from a few other foods, but sugar is the main one.  If I never get into again before I die, I will be grateful.  That's why I meant having an Oreo wouldn't be "cheating", it would be a major fricking train wreck.  It isn't an option, for me, but not because I'm on some sort of "diet."  It's because I'm a food addict that has a major messed up relationship with food.  Having a little sets up a serious craving that leads to major food trauma. 

When someone says "would eating such-and-such be cheating?" I want to bang my head on the table.  What does that even mean?  Is it a good idea? Will it help my weight loss?  Will it promote a saner relationship with food?  Can I please have just a little heroin, it's my birthday?  The concept of cheating in my mind is linked to dieting, which one eventually stops; slips are linked to abstinence, which is a lifelong committment to sane eating. 

I'm actually not about an "eat what you want" food plan.  I am about not using words like "cheating" as if I were pulling a fast one and as a way of not owning the choices I'm making.  I was whining to my OA sponsor once about my food plan, and she said I was free to eat absolutely anything I wanted.  It wasn't the Army, and I could have as much misery as I wanted. 

Thanks for being back!!

I'm so glad you have a clear perspective for yourself.  Sorry I didn't get that we are on the same page.  Since I struggle so much with food addiction I always feel compelled to put my 2 cents in on this subject. :)  It's a very complex topic I think.