need an ass whooping
i didnt realize i was a stress eater. lesson learned. not looking for sympathy or an ything here....i know i have been wrong and just feel like fessing up. hoping that this will resonate with others and may help them. i am trying to turn my experience into something positive.
i have found i have been able to be good for a day, then fall off the wagon, then back on, off, on etc. i have been able to drop a couple lbs despite myself but it has been hard. i have decided not to beat myself up. this is a lifelong marathon not a race...every marathn has inclines and declines. i will learn from this and move forward. i am gonna shoot for back to basics, pick myself and dust myself off. my whole world has changed in the last 4 weeks or so. the biggest challenge besides self sabatoge has been with a total schedule change. i am finding i used to get 100oz water in but now i am not even getting in 64oz. i have to fix this.
here are some examples of my life in last 4 weeks.
1. lost my job
2. hubby who lost his job in fall and had thought was going back this month didnt work out...so he has been looking high and low for work.
3. hubbys grandma who we have lived with since 2009 (after we both lost our jbs in real estate and lost our house, stupid economy) died. for last 6 mnths she was helping us pay the mortgage..she died 1/25 and mortgage was due 2/1 and now again tomorrow
4. as a result of #3 our property tax went from $200 due 4/30 to $1800 due 4/30
5. found out that my MIL racked up $15k on a credit card in grandmas name...this will have to be paid from assets of estate. only asset is the house we live in and inherited (along with its mortgage)
6. furnace has started dying...works sometimes only.
7. roof has developed a leak
8. fridge died
so as you can see, my pkat is quite full. needless to say i ambeyond stresses
i have found i have been able to be good for a day, then fall off the wagon, then back on, off, on etc. i have been able to drop a couple lbs despite myself but it has been hard. i have decided not to beat myself up. this is a lifelong marathon not a race...every marathn has inclines and declines. i will learn from this and move forward. i am gonna shoot for back to basics, pick myself and dust myself off. my whole world has changed in the last 4 weeks or so. the biggest challenge besides self sabatoge has been with a total schedule change. i am finding i used to get 100oz water in but now i am not even getting in 64oz. i have to fix this.
here are some examples of my life in last 4 weeks.
1. lost my job
2. hubby who lost his job in fall and had thought was going back this month didnt work out...so he has been looking high and low for work.
3. hubbys grandma who we have lived with since 2009 (after we both lost our jbs in real estate and lost our house, stupid economy) died. for last 6 mnths she was helping us pay the mortgage..she died 1/25 and mortgage was due 2/1 and now again tomorrow
4. as a result of #3 our property tax went from $200 due 4/30 to $1800 due 4/30
5. found out that my MIL racked up $15k on a credit card in grandmas name...this will have to be paid from assets of estate. only asset is the house we live in and inherited (along with its mortgage)
6. furnace has started dying...works sometimes only.
7. roof has developed a leak
8. fridge died
so as you can see, my pkat is quite full. needless to say i ambeyond stresses
Carrie HW: 334/Preop Appt W: 328/SW: 313/CW: 2
preop: -21lbs, month 1: -28lbs, month 2: -16lbs, month 3: -18lbs, month 4: -11lbs,
month 5: -11lbs, month 6: -7lbs, ...all the way down. NOTE: after slacking I got back on track in Nov (month 12) and have lost 16lbs so far!
thanks Sidney. That is what I am trying to do...be kind to me but learn and move forward. I need to figure out this new schedule and how to deal with stress, boredom etc and stop eating to fill the time. Must find another hobby...what I have now isn't enough.
Carrie HW: 334/Preop Appt W: 328/SW: 313/CW: 2
preop: -21lbs, month 1: -28lbs, month 2: -16lbs, month 3: -18lbs, month 4: -11lbs,
month 5: -11lbs, month 6: -7lbs, ...all the way down. NOTE: after slacking I got back on track in Nov (month 12) and have lost 16lbs so far!
This is one of the ways I deal with stress:
I wait until I am all by myself and then I cry about all my stressful problems. And I don't mean just cry. I mean I wail and make big noise. I'm talking over the top, dramatic crying at the top of my lungs. Before long I feel kind of stupid doing that so I quit and start doing what needs to be done to fix or otherwise overcome or move past whatever it is that is stressing me. Food just shoves the emotional issue further back down my throat while crying, loudly, releases that emotional tension and helps me move into action mode.
Your mileage may vary.
I wait until I am all by myself and then I cry about all my stressful problems. And I don't mean just cry. I mean I wail and make big noise. I'm talking over the top, dramatic crying at the top of my lungs. Before long I feel kind of stupid doing that so I quit and start doing what needs to be done to fix or otherwise overcome or move past whatever it is that is stressing me. Food just shoves the emotional issue further back down my throat while crying, loudly, releases that emotional tension and helps me move into action mode.
Your mileage may vary.
CW 278 SW 260 GW 140 
That is all kinds of rough. I'm low on the coping skills myself at the moment as well. Which is weird, because last year I had this steely resolve (as well as the benefit of surgery). I think a lot of people would stress eat in your situation. Not that you should, but I can see myself having a breakdown if I was going through that. The fact that you are surviving it and realizing you are stress-eating from it is a good sign. When I am in my right mind (which is not really me at the moment), I work on some hobbies, or put on headphones and listen to music. Not gonna lie, though. If my anxiety over a situation is causing manic craziness, I will take an ativan if I have no other plans for the day.
Good luck. I'm so sorry for your losses. You will get through it. Winston Churchill wrote/said : "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Good luck. I'm so sorry for your losses. You will get through it. Winston Churchill wrote/said : "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Highest Weight: 317 Surgery Weight: 268 Current Weight: 179.7
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