Concerned about failure

I am still in the beginning phase.  I have my psych and dietitian in a week.  Already met my wonderful surgeon.  They have a great support system set up as well.   I have to make up my mind.  My surgery would be in June.  I do not have to loose any weight before hand.  My BMI is 35 and I have type 2 diabetes.  My goal of weight to lose is about 60lbs.  I have lost and gained my whole life.  I am not at my biggest. I am having hysterectomy in May and even the surgeon said you may gain a little weight after the surgery.   I know many success stories but equal as many failures.  I know several that have had either sleeve or RNY and have gained a lot if not all of their weight back.  I am not scared of losing and know I can.  It is the fear of failure in gaining it back.    Although covered by my insurance it is still a lot out of my pocket (5,000).  I worry about the 1 year to 5 years out.  I have to decide.  I know only I can make this decision.  My husband supports me 100% with either decision.  My kids are freaked out.   How do you deal with the fear of failure and a few friends that only see the negative of people who have regained?

I am only 4 weeks out, but to be successful long term you have to follow your plan for the rest of your life. It is a learning process. I figure if I put my body through the surgery, then why waste it on making bad food choices? Since the sleeve is permanent the only way to gain your weight back would be to fill your stomach with high calorie, high carb, or sugary food. Just follow the protein first motto and you will do great. I have been on OH for a few months now and I have never read of anyone gaining ALL of their weight back. As far as people being negative about a weight gain, everyone's journey is different. People have their weaknesses and reasons for gaining and falling off track. If someone is being negative about it, remind them they don't know all the cir****tances of the person that gained and hope the person that gained gets their priorities on track and loses the weight again. Good luck to you!

How do you deal with the fear of failure and a few friends that only see the negative of people who have regained?

With a lot of soul searching!  Being strict and diciplined!!!  I'm less than 2 years out, have been at or below my goal since 8 months post op, I allow myself about 7 lbs to play with, (not allowing myself to be above 130) when I get close I really watch what I eat and up my exercising.  And I tell myself failure isn't an option. 

I don't think I put anything in my mouth what I really don't think about it first, that's part of my lifestyle change.

Some I've heard say it's easier to gain the further out, I hope and pray that things the way they are right now for me.  I will just have to wait and see!  But I'm so glad I did this for ME!!!

Hello...I too fall into the "lightweight" range (although, not the way I feel) with a BMI of 33 also...I have also played the yo yo game for 30+ years.  I had a hysterectomy last year and yes, that has complicated things for me.  I have had all the same thoughts and fears yo are having...trying to decide if I should put myself through MAJOR surgery for 55 lbs and the thing that helped me make the decision was all my research...I AM STILL OBESE.

It's kinds like being pregnant...can't be " kinda"  pregnant ~ either you are or your not~ I AM FAT!! End of story. 
I know that this is just a tool, but knowing that and going into it with that knowledge is what I hope helps me thru to tough spots. 
I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of HATING shopping. I'm tired of always being the FAT girl. I'm tired of waiting for the DM diagnose that runs in my family....I CHOOSE to take control now ~ and I hope this tool helps me to not only take control, but to maintain control of my future.  I know I will only get out of this what I put into it.  I'm trying to get my "head on straight" before my big day.

I understand the $$ part also, I'm self pay totally...that's $8700 outta pocket for a chance at a healthy life.  I'm counting the days to join the losers bench!!!

Good luck. Not a EASY decision, but one that I hope is well worth it in the end!!

Hayley,

GOOD OUTLOOK!!!!  It is a choice...and not everyone makes good choices, and NO ONE can 100% of the time make good choices.  But it's something each of us have control of...NO ONE can make us eat the wrong stuff and eat too much!!!!!

I love this website.  I am really trying to educate myself.  My sister had RYN a 2 years ago and has done great maintaining.  I have a good support system with my family.  I am very savy on nutrition.  I know what to do to lose weight.  I appreciate everyones responses.  I know that I can not look at other peoples failures.  I can only focus I me and what I need to do.  Take one day at time.  I have not been thin in so long I can not even imagine weighing in the 130s to 140s. 

One of the themes I see in reading the "OMGMYSURGERYFAILED" posts is people falling back into old habits of medicating with food, soothing with food, rewarding with food, being mindless about food...I also see people pushing the boundaries of their surgical limitations.

I'm new to this too - I still haven't been called by the surgeon for my first consult.  However I have been seeing a therapist for a while to deal with my issues around food and try to get my head into a different place.

I'm guessing, since I haven't gone thru this yet, but the secret to not regaining seems to be no secret, but lots of disciplined steps (in no particular order).  This is what I see in the posts of people who have kept their weight off for years.

-Recognize you need to be vigilant about food forever
-Learn to differentiate between real hunger, "head hunger" and taste cravings.
-Don't abuse your tool (the surgery) and don't test its limits. The only way people find out that they can eat a package of Oreos is by trying to do so. DON'T.
-Don't abuse yourself for a mis-step - you can try to figure out WHY you made the mis-step, but the important thing is to keep moving forward.
-Learn to reward yourself in non-food/non-drink ways. Dogs are food motivated, people don't have to be.
-Keep moving - you don't have to LIKE exercise, but you have to do it...kinda like flossing, paying your taxes or giving a pill to a cat.  It's one more thing you have to do for mind and body health
-Plan your meals and snacks - bad decisions happen when you stare into the fridge or freezer willing something yummy and healthy to just appear.  There is no kitchen fairy.
-Record what you eat and how much you exercise - this helps to cement new, good habits and keeps you vigilant
-Keep hydrated
-Eat your protein first
-Eat slowly, chew thoroughly, and be mindful while eating - try to avoid watching TV, reading or driving while eating
-Don't stop weighing yourself. It's easier to fix a 5 lb gain than a 50 lb gain. 50 lbs doesn't come back overnight. You have to work at it...or work to NOT let it happen
-Set attainable goals & rewards.

These are all things I'm trying to start working on now...even though it could be a year (or more, but I hope not) before I get surgery.

Excellent list, I would just like to add two more points to it if you don't mind.
1) Don't drink your calories
2) Don't graze, eat pre-planned meals.

Embrace the new lifestyle. Be positive about the changes to your lifestyle, and then you will be less likely to view it as a temporary thing or something you need to sabotage.  If it is a lifestyle, you will be more likely to maintain. When you are tempted to resent it or whine about it, remind yourself how blessed you are to have the opportunity to change your life.


Also, take the judgement about the other people's weight gain and what you fear about others judging you out of the equation.  This is YOUR journey. Focus on you and your new lifestyle.

Get excited!  Good health is in your reach.

examine yourself and your lifestyle before and why you failed before... i know with me it was that i didnt change the behaviours nor lifestyle. it is alot of work...especally if you are an emotional eater or a mindless one...  alot of work with self is needed to make this work...sleeve is only a tool..it is YOU who does the work.